What a busy night!! But we planned for it much better this year. First, we decided to give out candy from the garage this time. We live on the main road (a very loooooooong road) in a very large subdivision. People who don't live in subdivisions or who live out in the country end up here for "trick or treating." So we have a constant flow of kids (and teenagers and ... even some adults!). The garage space worked out so well! It got a little chilly by the end, but so worth it. The mobs were much easier to handle.
But let's back up a bit. We carved our pumpkins this afternoon (sorry, pictures are still on the camera). A few funny things I thought I'd never hear while carving pumpkins:
"Nothing says fall like the Death Star."
"I'm taking my pumpkin into the bathroom."
I laughed about that second one good and hard, more than once.
My pumpkin was carved with a pattern of four ghosts singing and wearing bow ties and top hats. It was cute, but way more intricate than I thought it would be. Hubby had to help me out.
His pumkin was an owl in a tree with a crescent moon. His was the type where you just scrape off the outer skin and leave the flesh and the candle inside makes the fleshy part glow. It looked really cool. I promise, I'll post pictures, though the pics aren't as good as seeing it in person.
Dinner was the usual Halloween night pizza. I got to introduce hubby, aka, my personal chef, to one of my all-time favorite frozen pizza brands. He actually liked it!
As soon as we finished up dinner it was time. We put the pumpkins on top of the cars, set out some chairs and a TV Table, and on the trunk of hubby's car set out three little candle holders I have that say "B-O-O" when you line them up (a gift many years ago from my mom). With a coat on and a blanket tucked around me, we were set.
And the kids came, dressed in all sorts of fun and cute costumes. I saw three UK Wildcats (all probably about a year or so old), several princesses (Snow White, Cinderella, etc.), cheerleaders, Buzz Lightyear, super heros, all sorts of other cartoon characters, police men, Michael Jackson, and lots of non-descript "costumes." Plenty of the goulish stuff too, the "Scream" face never seems to go out of style (do you think Edvard Munch would approve? Or has that face been made popular by some other more recent thing in pop culture I'm blissfully ignorant of?).
Hubby's favorite costumes were: "Spaghetti dinner": kid had one of those cheap plastic red and white checkered table clothes draped over him, a bowl of "spaghetti" (string?) and meatballs in his hand, and another bowl on top of his head with the fake spaghetti and meatballs spilling out over him; and a 4 or 5 year old dressed as a UPS man. Hubby said he may start handing out special treats for the costumes he thinks are the best. Any ideas? (I suggested full-size candy bars.)
Hubby and I were commenting on the teenagers while we sat out there. So many of them! They are obviously too cool to carry Trick or Treat bags, so they come with plastic grovery bags, backpacks, or purses; and some are apparently too cool to wear costumes, so they don't; and many are too cool to say "trick or treat" so they either say Happy Halloween or nothing at all (at least they do, generally, say thank you). If you're too cool for all those things, might it be possible that you're too old to go out Trick or Treating?
For my own future reference, for those with older kids, when do you tell your kids they are too old to go trick or treating? Is it in high school? Or possibly earlier? I don't remember when I stopped going, but I'd guess it was sometime around 8th grade, give or take a year.
And the garage set up ... totally worth it. It didn't feel overwhelming, we weren't constantly opening and closing the door, we weren't trying to hold open the storm door while also handing out candy in the little narrow space that is our front porch, and having 10-20 kids show up at one time was manageable when you are sitting in a very open space. Definitely worth doing again!
How was your Halloween?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Due Date Anniversaries
It's really hard for me to imagine how different our life would be with a two-year old running around. Would we have had a birthday party this weekend instead of just cleaning the house and watching football? Would I have nearly the amount of papers and books and just things laying around as I currently do? Would we have done all our grocery shopping afer 4pm, not getting home until after 6pm to start making dinner?
As each anniversary passes I have different emotions. The very first time that due date rolls around is hard because you know you should be having a baby, but instead your arms are empty. The first anniversary you wonder about what your child's first birthday party would have been like. The emotions may also still be there. In my case, my arms were still empty at this point, having lost two babies by then.
Now here I am at the second anniversary. My baby should be turning two had she not died 7 months earlier. Again, my arms are still empty, even after three pregnancies. But today my thoughts are all with my first little one.
She is the only one who we never knew if she was a boy or girl. Over time calling her "she" has become habit. I sometimes wonder if that is God's way of letting us know; it just sort of happened, it wasn't a conscious decision. She's the only one for whom we never saw an ultrasound picture. She's the only one for whom we never had a reason for losing her. She's also the only one who we were unable to bury, which still sometimes makes me sad.
My emotions have changed a lot in two years. I no longer get overly emotional about losing Casey. On occasion I feel guilty about that. But I know I don't need to. She is and always will be in my heart, always my daughter and my first baby.
After losing Casey, I never knew how to respond when people asked if we had children. I often would just keep it simple and say no. The guilt in my heart each time was horrible! But we live in a cultural where people don't want to hear about your dead children. And miscarriage isn't usually even counted among the children you have. But a little less than a year after Casey died we lost our second baby. He was so much further along! I was visibly pregnant at that point. As a result, the sympathy I got was so much greater. How could I ignore that child? And if I don't ignore that child, I certainly couldn't ignore my first.
That's when my answer changed. After that I responded to the question about whether or not I had children with a "Yes" qualified by adding "I have two in heaven."
Such a relief!! I felt so much better. Finally I was acknowledging my children to the world.
The first time I used this was at a retreat. IIt was about 4 months after my second loss and I was standing in line for lunch when one of my table mates asked me. I responded positively and with my addendum. There was a slight pause (totally expected) but then a smile and the reply, "That is beautiful."
It still makes me cry when I think about it.
My children are beautiful. And today I gave my thoughts to Casey Marie. My little girl who could have been born two years ago today (or around today). Wow, how different things would be with a two-year old. Toys laying around, little feet running through the house, child locks on cabinets, and so much more.
Casey, we miss you and love you. Please pray for us and be a wonderful big sister to Zachary and Brigit. We love you, little girl, and look forward to the day when we can join you in the Heavenly Kingdom.
As each anniversary passes I have different emotions. The very first time that due date rolls around is hard because you know you should be having a baby, but instead your arms are empty. The first anniversary you wonder about what your child's first birthday party would have been like. The emotions may also still be there. In my case, my arms were still empty at this point, having lost two babies by then.
Now here I am at the second anniversary. My baby should be turning two had she not died 7 months earlier. Again, my arms are still empty, even after three pregnancies. But today my thoughts are all with my first little one.
She is the only one who we never knew if she was a boy or girl. Over time calling her "she" has become habit. I sometimes wonder if that is God's way of letting us know; it just sort of happened, it wasn't a conscious decision. She's the only one for whom we never saw an ultrasound picture. She's the only one for whom we never had a reason for losing her. She's also the only one who we were unable to bury, which still sometimes makes me sad.
My emotions have changed a lot in two years. I no longer get overly emotional about losing Casey. On occasion I feel guilty about that. But I know I don't need to. She is and always will be in my heart, always my daughter and my first baby.
After losing Casey, I never knew how to respond when people asked if we had children. I often would just keep it simple and say no. The guilt in my heart each time was horrible! But we live in a cultural where people don't want to hear about your dead children. And miscarriage isn't usually even counted among the children you have. But a little less than a year after Casey died we lost our second baby. He was so much further along! I was visibly pregnant at that point. As a result, the sympathy I got was so much greater. How could I ignore that child? And if I don't ignore that child, I certainly couldn't ignore my first.
That's when my answer changed. After that I responded to the question about whether or not I had children with a "Yes" qualified by adding "I have two in heaven."
Such a relief!! I felt so much better. Finally I was acknowledging my children to the world.
The first time I used this was at a retreat. IIt was about 4 months after my second loss and I was standing in line for lunch when one of my table mates asked me. I responded positively and with my addendum. There was a slight pause (totally expected) but then a smile and the reply, "That is beautiful."
It still makes me cry when I think about it.
My children are beautiful. And today I gave my thoughts to Casey Marie. My little girl who could have been born two years ago today (or around today). Wow, how different things would be with a two-year old. Toys laying around, little feet running through the house, child locks on cabinets, and so much more.
Casey, we miss you and love you. Please pray for us and be a wonderful big sister to Zachary and Brigit. We love you, little girl, and look forward to the day when we can join you in the Heavenly Kingdom.
Friday, October 29, 2010
7 Quick Takes vol. 9
~1~
It seems that my blogging has become nothing but doing these Friday Quick Takes. It's good that I have something to keep me doing a little blogging, but I would like to post other things as well. I've been pretty busy lately, that hasn't helped, but I have ideas, really I do! So maybe once I get through all the reading I have piled up on my coffee table, I'll actually do a bit more blogging. I hope!
~2~
Speaking of reading, I can't believe how much reading I have piled up into my life. And I can't seem to get rid of any of it. I have several blogs I follow now and many of those bloggers post much more frequently than I do (adding to my reading and my guilt). And then there is my diocesan paper, which only comes out twice a month. You'd think I'd be able to keep up. Apparently not. Then there are about 3 other magazines I get, one magazine I just got 2 free issues of, and another that a friend keeps bringing me her old copies of. Eventually I'm just going to have to skip some of these things.
~3~
Last week I posted about my drive to Normal, IL. I was there for a conference of the Midwest Chapter of the Music Library Association. It was a really great meeting. We had some wonderful programming and it is always nice to visit with other music librarians. We had a really interesting presentation on collecting for music therapy programs, another great talk about the Circus Collection, specifically the music part, at Illinois State, a very informative talk about Illinois Wesleyan's new Digital Repository, and we were fed well throughout the period of the conference. I love going to these type of meetings and I really feel that I came away with a lot from this one.
~4~
Okay, forgive me, but I need to vent!! I don't understand why people don't get the concept of a pedestrian cross-walk. Do you know how many times I see people come to a cross-walk and stop 3-5 feet back from the curb and wait?? All the time! No car is going to stop for you when you are that far back. The other day I even saw a woman waiting at a cross-walk and she waved a car through that was slowing down for her. Lady, it is a *pedestrain* cross-walk! YOU have the right of way. Why do people not get that? And it's not just the pedestrians, it's the cars too. There is a cross-walk near my office that I have to cross to get to where I park. It's not at a light, so the cars are supposed to stop for you. I usually walk right into the bike lane (assuming no bicyclists are flying by) and then stop to make sure that the oncoming traffic is going to stop. Most of the time they just keep going.
By the way, yes, it is the law around here that pedestrians have the right of way at a pedestrian cross-walk. Where I used to live pedestrians really didn't look, they just walked. And drivers got ticketed if they didn't stop. Okay, vent over.
~5~
Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my due date for our first baby. She was due on Oct. 30, 2008. Lately I've been thinking about what it would be like to have a two year old right now. Hard to imagine. I may have more thoughts to share on this tomorrow.
~6~
Today is the last day of the 40 Days for Life in my town. Officially I think it ends on Sunday, but the vigil outside our abortion mill was only done on weekdays, so today is our last day. I heard a story this afternoon on our local Catholic radio station about a life that was saved today. A young woman was at the clinic today, went in for a little bit and then came out again. She then left with a friend who had come to pick her up. Shortly after that one of our local coordinators got a text message from her. She had looked up the 40 Days for Life online (after seeing it on one of our group's signs) and found the Lexington page and the phone number of the coordinator. She texted to say that she changed her mind and was going to be talking to her parents to tell them about her pregnancy. The coordinator sent her the number of a pregnancy help center which the girl thanked her for. That was it. But so totally amazing!! Praise be to God for helping this girl to give her child life.
~7~
After telling this story on the radio this afternoon, the host of the show then talked about how important it was to vote in the upcoming election and to vote for pro-life candidates. Your vote counts, and not just in the way we usually think about it. You are also held accountable to God for all your actions in this life, including the people you may help elect to office. Voting for pro-life candidates is one of the most important things you can do. On that note, if you are a Facebook user, I encourage you to join the event Vote Pro-Life WAVE through November 2. There is nothing to "attend" just change your profile picture to one of the "Vote Pro-life" pictures available from now through November 2 and then help spread the wave to others. All the images may be hard to find, you have to scroll down the page a bit to find the link. To help you out here is the direct link to the images. I believe that you do have to have a Facebook account to view the images.
Enjoy more Quick Takes at the very popular Conversion Diary blog. Lots of great posts!! You won't be disappointed!
Friday, October 22, 2010
7 Quick Takes vol. 8
On Thursday I drove about 6 hours to Normal, IL. For my 7 Quick Takes this week here are seven things I learned.
~1~
During rush hour traffic in Louisville, trying to merge will cause the person you are merging in front of to beep at you. This was normal behavior in New England, I guess it's considered rude in KY. I'll be sure to send an invitation next time ... in the whole 2 seconds I have between getting off I-64, merging onto I-70-something, and merging into your lane to get onto I-65.
~2~
The little bags of old-fashioned peppermint sticks you can get at Cracker Barrels everywhere are great companions on long, lonely car drives!!
~3~
Talking on your cell and trying to write down what you are being told while driving 70 mph is not a good idea. Don't worry, I decided instead to memorize what I was being told and I wrote it down when I got off the phone .... still driving 70 mph.
~4~
The stretch of I-74 between Indianapolis and Bloomington, IL is the longest I have ever driven in a straight line. Ever!
~5~
I am still wondering why there were so many corn and soy bean fields that looked like they had a dusting of snow on them. Anyone know why so many looked so white??
~6~
Harvesting season must be over. Everything is shades of brown. No corn, no soy beans. It was kind of sad looking at the emptiness.
~7~
Most surprising thing: the absolutely beautiful little lakes/ponds I passed in Illinois! They were so blue!! What a spectacular site to suddenly come upon one in the midst of all those brown, empty fields. They were always so surprising I kept wanting to get a better look, but alas I could not. What a great reminder of the beauty of life even in the midst of desolation and emptiness. Beautiful!!
Check out more Quick Takes posts at Conversion Diary and have a blessed weekend!!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Underfoot
My awesome hubby spent all day Saturday working on the yard: racking, edging, mowing, seeding, fertilizing, and watering. I finally took some time to do a little vacuuming around the house, which had not been done in a while.
I was pleased with what I got accomplished ... until today.
All that new seed and fertilizer on the yard requires some water for a week or more. So hubby is in and out moving the sprinklers and hoses around to get all corners of the yard. He did this Saturday evening and then again Sunday afternoon. Given the drought we've been in, I expect he'll be doing this each evening for the next week of more.
Yep, the evidence is on the floors. I guess yard work and clean indoor floors don't mix. Oh well!! Hopefully we'll have a nice looking yard come spring!!
I was pleased with what I got accomplished ... until today.
All that new seed and fertilizer on the yard requires some water for a week or more. So hubby is in and out moving the sprinklers and hoses around to get all corners of the yard. He did this Saturday evening and then again Sunday afternoon. Given the drought we've been in, I expect he'll be doing this each evening for the next week of more.
Yep, the evidence is on the floors. I guess yard work and clean indoor floors don't mix. Oh well!! Hopefully we'll have a nice looking yard come spring!!
Friday, October 15, 2010
7 Quick Takes vol. 7
It's Quick Takes time again!! Enjoy! And don't forget to check out other Quick Takes at our host's Jen Fulwiler's blog.
~1~
I had wanted to do a whole post about the lecture I attended last Thursday about the Council of Trent, but I never had the time. So instead of a whole post, thought I would mention one interesting thing about that talk here. The Council of Trent was held from 1545-1563 and was in response to the Protestant Reformation. One of the main things that got done at Trent was the standardization of the Roman Rite Mass. But the talk itself actually focused much more on the history that led up to Trent than anything really about Trent.
So the one thing I found really interesting was in regard to the elevation of the Eucharist during Mass. Up until about the 10th century the Eucharist wasn't elevated right after the consecration. Also remember that the priest faced the same way as the people, so without the elevation the people could not see anything and did not know when the consecration happened (I don't know when the bells were instituted, but once that was instituted that would have been the only way the people knew that the consecration had happened). It was around the 10th century when at the request of the people, the priest started elevating the host, the Eucharist, the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ. The people wanted to be able to see and adore Jesus in the Eucharist. So around 1000 AD was when this was put in place. Interestingly, it was only the Eucharist that was elevated, not the chalice.
~2~
Our front porch is done!! Last weekend, hubby stripped the columns and railings, primed, put up molding on the columns, and then painted the whole thing. He also replaced the outside lights with something much, much better than what we had. It looks so much better!! This weekend we're (hopefully) going to go get a tree and plant it in the big hole in our backyard.
~3~
On Monday I attended another session of what is being called "Companions on the Journey." It is at my church and being led by the rector of my parish. This session was all about gratitude. Unlike the first session, I feel like I got a lot more out of this one. One thing that gave me food for thought:
When you greet someone and they ask, "How are you?" you should respond with "I am blessed!" I bet you'd get some surprised looks at the bank or the grocery store, but also just from your friends. I haven't started this yet, kind of hesitant to do it. And think about saying that if you're having a bad day. It'd be hard to be too down on yourself if you had to admit that you ARE blessed despite what may be going on in your life. Definitely something to think about!
~4~
Wednesday night we attended the "Evening of Excitement." It was a lot of fun!! This was a dinner/fundraising event for our local Catholic radio station. It was free and a big announcement was promised. We saw lots of people we knew, met some people we hadn't met before, and got to see some people we hadn't seen in a while. The Bishop gave the keynote speech and then we got the big announcement. The Catholic station currently runs on an AM station and is required to power down between sunset and sunrise. So it really doesn't come in at all during those times. You can get it online, but that means only at home or work, not in your car. So first (not the big announcement) they are increasing their wattage so that they will cover more area (maybe we'll get it in our house!!). Second, the big announcement was that they will be simulcasting the station on an FM channel sometime in early 2011! Woohoo!! That means 24 hours a day it'll be available in the metro area and it won't get hard to hear because of static when you're under power lines at a red light or in a parking garage. I'm looking forward to the change. Hopefully more people will discover Catholic radio as well.
~5~
We've been going to a lot of things lately. We attended the third part of the Liturgy series on Thursday of this week. The priest who presided at our wedding and is now pastor at a few parishes about an hour south of us came up to give the talk on Vatican II. He is such a history person!! I've heard him give different talks at Church as well as at Theology on Tap events and he obviously knows a lot of history. He gave a good talk and made a point to talk about the fact that what happened to the Mass following Vatican II was not the only major change to the Mass in the history of the Church. I feel like I have a deeper appreciation for the history of the mass overall.
Unfortunately I'll be out of town next week for the last talk. That one will be about the changes that are coming to the Mass starting in Advent of 2011. Wish I could be there, but hopefully there will be other opportunities to hear about the changes coming before they get here. I expect we will.
~6~
After the talk last night we went to a new frozen yogurt place that just opened in town. Actually, Thursday and today was their "soft" opening, the grand opening is Saturday. It is called Orange Leaf. It's self-serve frozen yogurt with a topping bar and you pay by the ounce. There were about 10 or so different flavors of frozen yogurt (everything from vanilla and chocolate to coffee to mango and pomegranate) and lots and lots of different toppings (fruit, candy, sprinkles, cereal, granola, etc.). You can take one flavor or mix some flavors, take as many toppings as you want, and then you pay depending on how much it weighs. For the two of us we ended up paying a little under $7. I didn't think that was too bad. And the bowls were pretty big, it'd be easy to fill that thing up!!
~7~
Finally, just wanted to mention that today was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. There is a lot about this day on the website October 15th. I lit three candles this evening starting at 7pm for my three babies. I'd like to see a larger public event in my city to commemorate this day. But I think I'll start with my church first. I may talk to our rector soon about doing something next year. A year to plan should be plenty of time. Any ideas? Did you attend a public event? What did they do? Was it at a church or somewhere else?
Don't forget to head over to Conversion Diary and check out the Quick Takes from many, many other bloggers.
Friday, October 08, 2010
7 Quick Takes vol. 6
For more Quick Takes, check out Jen Fulwiler's blog Conversion Diary, where she is on vol. 100, for her Quick Takes and links to many other's. Hope you enjoy!
For my past few Quick Takes posts I planned a little ahead. This week, that didn't happen. So I'm winging it!
~1~
I finally started going back to the gym this week! Made it a whole two days. It's a slow start, but it is a start. I've been slacking off on the diet and exercise thing, but luckily I've been maintaining. Hopefully this means a little exercise will jump start some loss again. We'll see.
~2~
Monday evening I attended a talk sponsored by the University of Kentucky Students for Life organization. The speaker was Rebecca Kiessling, who had been adopted and found out when she was 18 that she had been conceived through rape. It was a pretty powerful talk. I wrote a post about what I took away from her talk. Go check it out if you have a chance. The post includes a link to her webpage as well.
~3~
My husband and I want to one day sell our house. But we didn't feel like we needed to move while it is just the two of us. We think this house will fit us fine for one baby, but after that we feel that we need something a bit bigger. But due to our three losses, we keep putting off our plans. After our last miscarriage we decided to go ahead and move forward, with or without a baby. It'll happen one day and we are now in a position financially to afford a new home. So we're shooting for next spring. In the meantime, that means fixing up this house. We redid the kitchen last year. Our current project is the front of the house. I wanted to hire a contractor to completely replace the columns and railings on the front porch, hubby decided differently. So he spent some time last weekend stripping the paint and fixing up the rusted areas above the windows and doors. Tonight he started priming, he'll finish tomorrow and hopefully paint. Then we go shopping!! That's my favorite part. We'll buy trim to finish the columns off and new light fixtures for by the door and on either side of the garage. Hopefully by the end of the weekend we'll have much better curb appeal. I'll post a picture eventually. Unfortunately I did not take a "before" pic.
~4~
Twice in the last couple months I've gotten involved in conversations that somehow evolved into a debate on the clergy sexual abuse scandal. I find myself defending the Church on charges people throw at it based on misinformation they have heard through the media. It's very frustrating, as I'm sure many others who have been in the same position know. I'm considering writing a bit more about my feelings on this topic, once I can get all my thoughts together in some sort of coherent manner.
~5~
This past Sunday I had a meeting in the town just north of me. I'm a city girl and I live on the north end of my town. So just two miles from my house I was already in what I consider the "country." Whether or not it is, I don't know. But no traffic lights, few houses, and long windy roads equals country to this city girl. What I thought was funny was how comfortable I was driving on these roads. Winding through areas I hadn't been before, roller-coastering over the hills without adjusting my speed (too much), and enjoying the expansive fields and open areas. I still prefer to live in a city, but it is nice to drive through such pretty areas. And I think my cute little car (a Honda Fit) makes it even more fun to drive through such an area.
~6~
The meeting I went to was at a little country church. Amazingly only about 20 minutes from my house. As I pulled in I noticed a historical marker by the road in front of the church. It looked like a really cute little church, but unfortunately I didn't get to see the inside. Our meeting was in a small building behind the church. I did learn, however, that it is the oldest church building not only in our diocese (Lexington) but also in the Diocese of Covington, from which we had been split off in the late 1980s. I didn't get a chance to read the historical marker when I left (it really required walking down to the street to read, which I didn't get a chance to do). So I have several reasons to go back there! Good thing it isn't too far away, maybe we'll venture up there for a Sunday Mass sometime.
~7~
This is my first post using a new template in blogger. I recently updated my settings so I could add Tabs on the top of my page (which I haven't had time to work on, so nothing is there yet). I don't know if this is the reason for this new template or if blogger just happened to update things at the same time that I had made some changes as well. It was a little startling at first, but I do like that I can see what things will look like on the actual post rather than the HTML, although I can still easily switch to the HTML view and edit that way as well. I'm a bit annoyed that when I change the justification (left justify vs. center) it doesn't necessarily seem to take the first time and I have to click on it a second time. Maybe it's a user problem too, who knows. I'm sure I'll get used it eventually.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
Monday, October 04, 2010
Conceived in Rape: Rebecca Kiessling
I stayed late at work tonight to attend a lecture being sponsored by the UK Students for Life organization. The speaker was Rebecca Kiessling, a lawyer and pro-life speaker who was conceived in rape. For her full story, the stories of others who were also conceived in rape, and more, check out her website.
Her talk was great. She had a great style for speaking with college students and her story of discovering that she had been conceived in rape was truly amazing. To hear how it effected her perception of herself for so long was remarkable, especially how she moved beyond it. Most notable of course was her emphasis on putting a face on the issue of abortion. As someone who is a product of rape, she is a face for all those people who think abortion should still be an option in the case of rape.
I was struck by the connection she made so vividly between the value of every life (hers and everyone else in the room), the false promises of feminism, and the tragedy of abortion. The feminists tell women that they can't handle being a mom at that time of their life, that they aren't strong enough to deal with raising a child, and so on and so on, thus telling them that abortion is really their only option. All that does is make us feel weak and helpless. I don't believe that was the original idea behind feminism. Don't the struggles and challenges in your life make you a stronger person? Isn't it better to give life and give a child the gift of adoption than to murder that child? That child is precious and his or her life is valuable. All our lives are valuable.
But that doesn't mean that our lives always go as planned. Rebecca wanted to be a lawyer; she imagined owning a fancy car and being a wealthy partner in a fancy firm. She did not envision being a mom to five kids, driving a 12-person van, and practicing family law. Her perspective on life is different now because of her own journey of discovering herself and the value of her own life.
Why do feminists make women feel that they can't raise a child alone? Why are these women made to feel that abortion is their only option? Shouldn't the feminist movement be about building women up, helping them when they face difficulties and unplanned events in their lives that will make them stronger in the end? Rebecca is a woman, too. Why is it okay for people to tell her that her mother should have been able to legally abort her? She is here only because abortion was illegal at the time (1968/69). Norma McCorvey's daughter is also walking on this earth today because her mother was unable to obtain a legal abortion. (McCorvey is Jane Roe, from the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision.)
I am pro-life, have been for a while. But I got a different perspective tonight. I saw a face on the abortion issue. I was reminded that there are many men and women around, not much older than me, who could have been aborted had abortion been legal at the time of their conception. It's heartbreaking to know that my generation and all those that have followed are missing many of our brothers and sisters.
Abortions in this country peaked at around 1987. When were you born? I sat in that room tonight with a bunch of college students, all of whom were probably born around 1989/90 or thereabouts.
I wonder how many more students could have been in that room tonight.
Her talk was great. She had a great style for speaking with college students and her story of discovering that she had been conceived in rape was truly amazing. To hear how it effected her perception of herself for so long was remarkable, especially how she moved beyond it. Most notable of course was her emphasis on putting a face on the issue of abortion. As someone who is a product of rape, she is a face for all those people who think abortion should still be an option in the case of rape.
I was struck by the connection she made so vividly between the value of every life (hers and everyone else in the room), the false promises of feminism, and the tragedy of abortion. The feminists tell women that they can't handle being a mom at that time of their life, that they aren't strong enough to deal with raising a child, and so on and so on, thus telling them that abortion is really their only option. All that does is make us feel weak and helpless. I don't believe that was the original idea behind feminism. Don't the struggles and challenges in your life make you a stronger person? Isn't it better to give life and give a child the gift of adoption than to murder that child? That child is precious and his or her life is valuable. All our lives are valuable.
But that doesn't mean that our lives always go as planned. Rebecca wanted to be a lawyer; she imagined owning a fancy car and being a wealthy partner in a fancy firm. She did not envision being a mom to five kids, driving a 12-person van, and practicing family law. Her perspective on life is different now because of her own journey of discovering herself and the value of her own life.
Why do feminists make women feel that they can't raise a child alone? Why are these women made to feel that abortion is their only option? Shouldn't the feminist movement be about building women up, helping them when they face difficulties and unplanned events in their lives that will make them stronger in the end? Rebecca is a woman, too. Why is it okay for people to tell her that her mother should have been able to legally abort her? She is here only because abortion was illegal at the time (1968/69). Norma McCorvey's daughter is also walking on this earth today because her mother was unable to obtain a legal abortion. (McCorvey is Jane Roe, from the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision.)
I am pro-life, have been for a while. But I got a different perspective tonight. I saw a face on the abortion issue. I was reminded that there are many men and women around, not much older than me, who could have been aborted had abortion been legal at the time of their conception. It's heartbreaking to know that my generation and all those that have followed are missing many of our brothers and sisters.
Abortions in this country peaked at around 1987. When were you born? I sat in that room tonight with a bunch of college students, all of whom were probably born around 1989/90 or thereabouts.
I wonder how many more students could have been in that room tonight.
Friday, October 01, 2010
7 Quick Takes, vol. 5: Respect Life Month
Since this Quick Takes falls on the first of October, which we celebrate as Respect Life Month, I thought I would dedicate this post to that commemoration. For more Quick Takes posts, check out ConversionDiary.com.
One of my favorite Mother Teresa quotes:
Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.
As you drive up one of the main roads that can be used to get to my church you come up the hill and find yourself at a fork, with the Church right in front of you. In the space between the where the roads split and the church building itself is a large green lawn. Every October we place white crosses in that large space as a tribute to all those lives lost to abortion. I have always found it such a great silent testimony for all those who pass by our church every day. I'm expecting that we'll start putting them out on Sunday after Mass. In the picture on the right from our wedding (we got married in October) you can see some of the white crosses in the lawn behind us.
The national campaign 40 Days for Life is also going on. Are you participating? My city has one abortion mill and we have people sitting outside of it every day praying for an end to abortion. I haven't been able to get myself to actually go there and watch people enter those doors. One day I hope I can, but to be sitting there knowing that I so want to be pregnant and have to watch others destroy the life they are carrying is too much for me right now. But I'm praying for all those who are there praying, all the women who feel that abortion is htere only choice (that they will be educated about their real choices), and for an end to abortion. If you can't participate yourself, I encourage you to offer some of your prayer time or make some sort of sacrifice for an end to abortion.
Did you know that 80-90% of children who are diagnosed with Down Syndrome before birth are aborted? 80-90%!!! That just blows my mind! This week I heard that the Down Syndrome Association of Central Kentucky was having a "Buddy Walk" this Saturday. I can't participate this year, but I am definitely planning on it for the future. I believe the Buddy Walk is a national event so there may be one near you too. It's worth checking out. If you can't do the walk, you can do what I did and make a modest donation (or larger if you are able) here. (That link takes you to my local DS Association, but if you explore the website some you should be able to find the one in your area.)
I find it fitting that Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is during the month of October as well. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. It is held on October 15 each year and I have been participating in lighting a candle for my children the past two years and plan on doing it this year as well. Click here for more information on Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day.
Abortion is one of the biggest tragedies in our nation today. However, Respect Life Month is much more than that. The focus on abortion is not meant to diminish the other life issues facing our society today. Not by a long shot. Abortion is just one of many issues, but it is also one that has a far-reaching effect, thus why there is such a focus on it. Cardinal Daniel N. DiNardo, Chairman of the USCCB Committee on Pro-Life Activities, issued this statement on Respect Life Month. In it he addresses a whole host of life issues that we face today. Please take a moment to read it (it's only two pages).
Finally, I found a wonderful list of resources for Respect Life Month on this website. This was posted on the Diocese of Columbus website under their Office for Youth and Young Adult Ministry. It's a very comprehensive list, totally worth checking out!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Who is Liturgy For?
Tonight my husband and I went to the first talk of four on the Liturgy. Through these four talks we’ll get a good history of the Liturgy in Christian worship that will lead up to a discussion on why the texts will be changing starting in Advent 2011. Next week the speaker will be discussing the changes that took place with the Council of Trent in the 16th century followed by a discussion the following week on Vatican II, and ending the final week with a discussion on some of the upcoming changes.
But to start things off, the Bishop gave an overview tonight of Liturgy from Judaic times to today. As always, he gave a great talk with a ton of information!! His vast knowledge is always so evident on any given topic. I always learn something.
He broke the talk down into seven parts, but I won’t reiterate all of those here. There were plenty of interesting points I could share (aren’t you glad I wasn’t taking notes!), but one really struck me. It had to do with why we participate in Liturgy and who the Liturgy is for. Are we there to “get something out of it?” Are we there to just rejoice and give praise? Or is there more to it?
So often when you talk to someone who is unhappy with the Catholic Church, one of the familiar lines you get is that they don’t feel they “get anything” out of Mass. But that’s totally missing the point.
In Exodus chapter 32 the Hebrew people are worshipping the golden calf while dancing and feasting and being merry. This section is often used to teach against idolatry. However, the Bishop pointed out tonight that it is much more than that. The Hebrew people had forgotten what God had asked of them and were trying to create a more tangible god, something visible and concrete. But they were only thinking of themselves and what they needed, or actually, wanted, out of that relationship with God.
They had also forgotten that what God asks of His people is non-negotiable. Go back to where Moses is asking Pharaoh to let God’s people go out of the land to worship Him. Pharaoh tries to negotiate, but Moses won’t. God gave specific instructions and it wasn’t up to Moses to negotiate, those instructions had to be followed.
The passage about the golden calf is a good example of what happens when we forget that God wants to be worshipped in a certain way. When we start making it about how we feel and try to turn Sunday worship services into entertainment, we forget what God has asked of us.
So what has he asked of us? He wants us to come together as community to worship Him in how He has instructed us. And those instructions aren’t up for debate. It is why the Catholic Church has celebrated the Mass in basically the same way for almost 2000 years. The Holy Spirit led the Apostles in the right form of worship and we continue that tradition today. Even with the changes that have occurred over the centuries, the basics of the mass have always been the same. (Check out St. Justin Martyr's description of how the Christian people worshipped: it’s the Mass!! And he wrote that in ca. 155 A.D.!)
Are we at Mass to “get something” out of it? Well, hopefully, yes. But ultimately it’s not about us. It’s about God and God alone.
Another quick point: the Bishop also talked about how our earthly liturgy may be imperfect, but it is a foretaste of the heavenly liturgy which we hope to participate in one day. He said that we are rehearsing here for what awaits us there. As a musician, that makes perfect sense! You can’t go to the performance without first doing the rehearsal!
But to start things off, the Bishop gave an overview tonight of Liturgy from Judaic times to today. As always, he gave a great talk with a ton of information!! His vast knowledge is always so evident on any given topic. I always learn something.
He broke the talk down into seven parts, but I won’t reiterate all of those here. There were plenty of interesting points I could share (aren’t you glad I wasn’t taking notes!), but one really struck me. It had to do with why we participate in Liturgy and who the Liturgy is for. Are we there to “get something out of it?” Are we there to just rejoice and give praise? Or is there more to it?
So often when you talk to someone who is unhappy with the Catholic Church, one of the familiar lines you get is that they don’t feel they “get anything” out of Mass. But that’s totally missing the point.
In Exodus chapter 32 the Hebrew people are worshipping the golden calf while dancing and feasting and being merry. This section is often used to teach against idolatry. However, the Bishop pointed out tonight that it is much more than that. The Hebrew people had forgotten what God had asked of them and were trying to create a more tangible god, something visible and concrete. But they were only thinking of themselves and what they needed, or actually, wanted, out of that relationship with God.
They had also forgotten that what God asks of His people is non-negotiable. Go back to where Moses is asking Pharaoh to let God’s people go out of the land to worship Him. Pharaoh tries to negotiate, but Moses won’t. God gave specific instructions and it wasn’t up to Moses to negotiate, those instructions had to be followed.
The passage about the golden calf is a good example of what happens when we forget that God wants to be worshipped in a certain way. When we start making it about how we feel and try to turn Sunday worship services into entertainment, we forget what God has asked of us.
So what has he asked of us? He wants us to come together as community to worship Him in how He has instructed us. And those instructions aren’t up for debate. It is why the Catholic Church has celebrated the Mass in basically the same way for almost 2000 years. The Holy Spirit led the Apostles in the right form of worship and we continue that tradition today. Even with the changes that have occurred over the centuries, the basics of the mass have always been the same. (Check out St. Justin Martyr's description of how the Christian people worshipped: it’s the Mass!! And he wrote that in ca. 155 A.D.!)
Are we at Mass to “get something” out of it? Well, hopefully, yes. But ultimately it’s not about us. It’s about God and God alone.
Another quick point: the Bishop also talked about how our earthly liturgy may be imperfect, but it is a foretaste of the heavenly liturgy which we hope to participate in one day. He said that we are rehearsing here for what awaits us there. As a musician, that makes perfect sense! You can’t go to the performance without first doing the rehearsal!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Question for Blogger users
If you follow my blog regularly you may have ntoiced that things keep changing everytime you visit. I'm experimenting with some changes, obviously. But I've run into an issue that I can't figure out. Can someone give me advise?
Just under my header you'll see a the word "Home" on the left. This is there because I added the "Pages" gadget in the hope that I could add a couple tabs up there to make it easy to find particular posts or whatever I decide to put there.
However, now that it is there, I can't seem to add anything else besides the "Home" tab. Which isn't particularly useful all by itself.
Anyone know how to add other items up there. I've tried dragging other gadgets over it when I'm in the design page, but it doesn't do anything. What simple thing am I missing?
Thanks in advance for any help!
Just under my header you'll see a the word "Home" on the left. This is there because I added the "Pages" gadget in the hope that I could add a couple tabs up there to make it easy to find particular posts or whatever I decide to put there.
However, now that it is there, I can't seem to add anything else besides the "Home" tab. Which isn't particularly useful all by itself.
Anyone know how to add other items up there. I've tried dragging other gadgets over it when I'm in the design page, but it doesn't do anything. What simple thing am I missing?
Thanks in advance for any help!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
What is Stewardship?
Apparently this is what I will be learning about for the next ... um, well I'm not really sure exactly. Few weeks? Months? I still have a lot of unanswered questions.
So let me back up a bit. For some time now I have been feeling a desire for a spiritual director. I need some direction in my prayer life and just some overall help in staying focused on what's important. I've gone back and forth about it for a long time and one of the problems is that I have been told that there is a lack of spiritual directors in my diocese. It probably doesn't help that, of course, all the priests and seminarians have to have spiritual directors and we have had pretty large deacon classes the last few years and they all need spiritual directors as well. So what spiritual directors we do have are already extremely busy. So it makes it hard to ask someone because I would feel guilty if they say yes when really they already have more than enough on their plates.
So finally one weekend I decided to email my parish priest and ask him if he knew someone I could ask. I figured that was a good way to go. After mass that Sunday, before I had a chance to say anything to him, I read his column in the bulletin and in it he mentioned having just gone to a conference and how inspired he was there and how he wanted to know if others were interested in coming together to continue building on that enthusiasm by journeying together in our faith lives. His words were much better than mine and for me they sounded like something that might fill that need I had for a spiritual director.
So I sent him an email to ask what exactly this "journey" was he was referring to. He responded just by asking if I was curious enough to come find out. So I took a chance and said yes. That was at least a month ago if not two. Tonight the group finally got together.
The topic was about stewardship. We started with prayer, then introductions, watched a video and filled out a worksheet as we watched, and then had two activities, one we did in the groups at our tables and the second was an individual activity. Then we ended in prayer.
The one thing that I took away from tonight, the thing I heard that has stuck with me was this: the Textbook of Stewardship is the Word of God.
Well!! I was convicted!
I've known for a long time now that I need to read more scripture. Yes, I hear lots of scripture at every Mass I attend, but I don't spend nearly as much personal time with God's Word as I should. That's what I learned tonight.
I have no idea how long this program is. I only know when the next meeting is and that's it. But it's all part of the journey, I'm sure. Wonder what will convict me the next time!
In the meantime, I think I need to start praying with the scriptures more.
So let me back up a bit. For some time now I have been feeling a desire for a spiritual director. I need some direction in my prayer life and just some overall help in staying focused on what's important. I've gone back and forth about it for a long time and one of the problems is that I have been told that there is a lack of spiritual directors in my diocese. It probably doesn't help that, of course, all the priests and seminarians have to have spiritual directors and we have had pretty large deacon classes the last few years and they all need spiritual directors as well. So what spiritual directors we do have are already extremely busy. So it makes it hard to ask someone because I would feel guilty if they say yes when really they already have more than enough on their plates.
So finally one weekend I decided to email my parish priest and ask him if he knew someone I could ask. I figured that was a good way to go. After mass that Sunday, before I had a chance to say anything to him, I read his column in the bulletin and in it he mentioned having just gone to a conference and how inspired he was there and how he wanted to know if others were interested in coming together to continue building on that enthusiasm by journeying together in our faith lives. His words were much better than mine and for me they sounded like something that might fill that need I had for a spiritual director.
So I sent him an email to ask what exactly this "journey" was he was referring to. He responded just by asking if I was curious enough to come find out. So I took a chance and said yes. That was at least a month ago if not two. Tonight the group finally got together.
The topic was about stewardship. We started with prayer, then introductions, watched a video and filled out a worksheet as we watched, and then had two activities, one we did in the groups at our tables and the second was an individual activity. Then we ended in prayer.
The one thing that I took away from tonight, the thing I heard that has stuck with me was this: the Textbook of Stewardship is the Word of God.
Well!! I was convicted!
I've known for a long time now that I need to read more scripture. Yes, I hear lots of scripture at every Mass I attend, but I don't spend nearly as much personal time with God's Word as I should. That's what I learned tonight.
I have no idea how long this program is. I only know when the next meeting is and that's it. But it's all part of the journey, I'm sure. Wonder what will convict me the next time!
In the meantime, I think I need to start praying with the scriptures more.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
The One Lovely Blog Award
A couple of weeks ago I was tagged by Nanette at The Crooked Halo with the "One Lovely Blog" award (pictured above). I posted the award on my blog (scroll down to see it on the right sidebar) and now I am passing it on to 15 other blogs. The rules for passing it on are simple:
1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.
2. Pay it forward to 15 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.
3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.
One of the neat things about this is that you should try and pass it on to 15 blogs that are new to you. So it provided me with the chance to check out some new blogs. I'll shortly be contacting the bloggers I'm tagging to let them know.
If I've tagged you, I hope you'll pass it on to some other blogs as well. However, everyone is busy, has full schedules, and lots of commitments already. This should be fun. If you only pass it on to a couple people, that's fine. If you would rather wait and do this at some other time, that's fine as well (there's no timeline). And if you just absolutely can't find the time to do this, that's okay too! Have fun with it if you can.
With that being said, here are the new blogs I've discovered that I am passing the "One Lovely Blog" Award on to (in no particular order).
Kathy at Faith on the High Wire
Beth at The Confused Homemaker
Angie at Many Little Blessings
Charlotte at Waltzing Matilda
Jen at Wildflowers & Marbles
Karen at Karen’s Catholic Journal
Nicole at My Endometriosis Story
Sarah at Fumbling Toward Grace
Elizabeth at That Married Couple
Sherry at Chocolate for your Brain
Charlotte at Cheeky Pink Girl
Abigail at Abigail’s Alcove
Secret Vatican Spy
Mary Ann at Les Femmes - The Truth
Nicole at Mothering with Mary
I'm looking forward to following these blogs. Check them out yourself!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
10 Surprising Things about Me
I got tagged to participate in the "10 Surprising Things about Me" by my friend at Percolating Petals. So during some downtime on my vacation I came up with this list. Hope you enjoy!
1. I am a night owl, but I am not able to keep a schedule that fits with my natural inclination. So I end up staying up later than I should, but then 6am comes (or 4:30 on some days) and I still get up. I think some of my insomnia issues may also come from going to bed (at a normal time, of course) before my body really feels ready. Naturally, I just tend to stay up late.
2. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer. I wrote short stories and even won some school-wide and county awards in elementary and middle school. I loved to read and make up my own stories. I kind of got away from it in high school but the dream is still there. Not sure if I'll ever write fiction as I had envisioned, but I do feel that I have something to share and I'm hoping I will one day.
3. Speaking of writing, I actually survived grad school and writing my master's thesis without coffee. I've actually never drank coffee in my life. I remember people telling me that I would once I hit those late-night thesis writing sessions with deadlines looming. Nope, not me! Instead I always kept a pound bag of M&Ms in the desk drawer in the grad student office and always brought some soda with me. So yeah, I had caffeine, just not coffee.
4. Okay, this one may surprise a lot of people: I was a cheerleader once upon a time. I was on a squad in elementary school. Cheerleading was definitely not my thing, but I did stick with it for two years.
5. And while we're on the topic of childhood activities, I also swam competitively for a few years. It was just on our neighborhood swim team, but it was a really good experience. I was certainly not a top competitor, but I enjoyed it and did well.
6. So swimming, I do like to swim, though I haven't done laps in years and years. I prefer pool swimming to ocean/lake swimming. So, I'm not really much of a beach person. I like the relaxing aspect of being at the beach, but really when it comes to swimming, I'd rather be in a pool.
7. Here's an odd one for you: I don't care for 3D movies. It's bothersome to me to have those silly glasses and I really don't care to be watching movies with things leaping out at me. Plus, movies are already expensive to go see, why should I pay an extra $5-$10 just to watch it in 3D? So whenever we want to watch a movie that is out in 3D, we usually choose the 2D option.
8. I want to learn how to knit! I've tried teaching myself a few times but still haven't learned a few essential tasks, like casting-off, kind of important. I had an opportunity to learn recently, but it was while I was going to be out of town. Hopefully I will have an opportunity again soon.
9. Sometimes I wish I had played the cello instead of the clarinet. I wouldn't trade any of my band experiences for anything. But I love the sound of the cello and have always thought it would be an awesome instrument to take up.
10. Although many people who know me now would disagree, if you've known me since I was a kid this is probably not a surprise. I am naturally a shy person, very shy. I've worked hard to appear more outgoing than I really am, though I still have some difficulties when around people that I don't know well. So yes, I am a shy person.
Time for me to also tag some others. So I will tag anyone who also wants to do this as well as the following bloggers I know:
Benotafraid at Analysis
Lynn B. at Feeding Souls
Nanette at The Crooked Halo
Let me know in the comments if you participated and leave a link to share.
1. I am a night owl, but I am not able to keep a schedule that fits with my natural inclination. So I end up staying up later than I should, but then 6am comes (or 4:30 on some days) and I still get up. I think some of my insomnia issues may also come from going to bed (at a normal time, of course) before my body really feels ready. Naturally, I just tend to stay up late.
2. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer. I wrote short stories and even won some school-wide and county awards in elementary and middle school. I loved to read and make up my own stories. I kind of got away from it in high school but the dream is still there. Not sure if I'll ever write fiction as I had envisioned, but I do feel that I have something to share and I'm hoping I will one day.
3. Speaking of writing, I actually survived grad school and writing my master's thesis without coffee. I've actually never drank coffee in my life. I remember people telling me that I would once I hit those late-night thesis writing sessions with deadlines looming. Nope, not me! Instead I always kept a pound bag of M&Ms in the desk drawer in the grad student office and always brought some soda with me. So yeah, I had caffeine, just not coffee.
4. Okay, this one may surprise a lot of people: I was a cheerleader once upon a time. I was on a squad in elementary school. Cheerleading was definitely not my thing, but I did stick with it for two years.
5. And while we're on the topic of childhood activities, I also swam competitively for a few years. It was just on our neighborhood swim team, but it was a really good experience. I was certainly not a top competitor, but I enjoyed it and did well.
6. So swimming, I do like to swim, though I haven't done laps in years and years. I prefer pool swimming to ocean/lake swimming. So, I'm not really much of a beach person. I like the relaxing aspect of being at the beach, but really when it comes to swimming, I'd rather be in a pool.
7. Here's an odd one for you: I don't care for 3D movies. It's bothersome to me to have those silly glasses and I really don't care to be watching movies with things leaping out at me. Plus, movies are already expensive to go see, why should I pay an extra $5-$10 just to watch it in 3D? So whenever we want to watch a movie that is out in 3D, we usually choose the 2D option.
8. I want to learn how to knit! I've tried teaching myself a few times but still haven't learned a few essential tasks, like casting-off, kind of important. I had an opportunity to learn recently, but it was while I was going to be out of town. Hopefully I will have an opportunity again soon.
9. Sometimes I wish I had played the cello instead of the clarinet. I wouldn't trade any of my band experiences for anything. But I love the sound of the cello and have always thought it would be an awesome instrument to take up.
10. Although many people who know me now would disagree, if you've known me since I was a kid this is probably not a surprise. I am naturally a shy person, very shy. I've worked hard to appear more outgoing than I really am, though I still have some difficulties when around people that I don't know well. So yes, I am a shy person.
Time for me to also tag some others. So I will tag anyone who also wants to do this as well as the following bloggers I know:
Benotafraid at Analysis
Lynn B. at Feeding Souls
Nanette at The Crooked Halo
Let me know in the comments if you participated and leave a link to share.
Friday, September 17, 2010
7 Quick Takes, vol. 4
Last Saturday I went to a baby shower! I haven't been to one in 4 years, mostly because many of my friends who have been having babies were already on their 2nd or 3rd babies. There was another one I could have gone to a little over a year ago, but it was shortly after my son died and only a month before what would have been his due date. Definitely not a good time for me to be celebrating someone else's good news. But this one was different!! This baby shower was for a friend who had thought she'd never get pregnant and had started the adoption process. She hadn't gotten far in the process when they discovered they were expecting. I know how hard this wait has been for her and I was delighted to be able to celebrate this time with her. Her and I took a picture together at the shower that I had hoped to post, but she hasn't sent it to me yet. ::smile::
Oh my goodness, what a rough week I have had. I could probably go on and on about this week, but it would just be too much of a downer. I had moments when I thought I was going to pull my hair out and other times when I just wanted to cry. I can't believe that having my email hacked on Monday was actually not the worst part of the week. But we have great IT people at work and I was pleasantly surprised when on Thursday they could pull a backup from Tuesday and recover some of the data I had lost through no fault of my own. In the end things worked out (and I was able to take today off!!). Glad this week is over though!
Speaking of computer issues, I also learned last week that the website I currently use to read all my RSS feeds is shutting down as of October 1. I had been debating on switching to Google Reader anyway, but wasn't expecting to be forced into the move so soon. Oh well, I still have my Bloglines account active, but I have pretty much switched to Google Reader now. Still trying to figure it out (for example, how many times do I need to unsubscribe/delete a feed before it actually deletes it?? Three times? Four??). Google Reader is a little more cluttered, I miss the clean look of Bloglines, but I think I'm starting to get into the right mindset for Google Reader.
Going on vacation? We are. What must be done before leaving? Using up all the leftovers! Hubby sometimes gets creative and he did this week. Early in the week he made apple turnovers, but couldn't get all the apple filling in them. So we had a little bit leftover. To use it up he baked up a couple of tortillas, essentially making cinnamon chips, topped them with the apple filling, added some vanilla ice cream in the center (had that sitting in the freezer too that needed to be eaten), and then he made a caramel sauce and drizzled it over all of it. It was yummy!! And now we have leftover caramel sauce. But we're working on eating that up too!
I think I'm becoming an insomniac again. ::sigh:: I don't nap during the day, never have, I'm exhausted when I go to bed, and yet I still lay awake for a couple hours (or more). I'm still getting up early, regardless of how tired I am. Oh, I hate this. One solution, I've been slacking on any sort of exercise for several weeks now. Maybe adding that back into my routine will help.
Some good news!! My promotion file is complete!! It better be, because today is the deadline and I'm not at work today, which is really another bit of good news! This is for my promotion to Librarian I (which is equivalent to full professor on the teaching faculty side). Now the wait begins. I should know the library faculty's decision by January (I think) and then the final decision is sent to the Provost's office. Sometime next spring I'll get the final decision. Yep, it's a long wait.
My second "job" is picking up. Actually it's my volunteer job with the Cursillo movement in my diocese. I'm the Pre-Cursillo chair and we have a retreat weekend approaching in a little over a month. All applications and deposits come to me, I keep in contact with all our sponsors and candidates as they all prepare for the weekend, answer questions, and arrange for transportation for everyone. With just over a month left, things are definitely picking up. Please help us by praying for all those who are making the weekend, for the Team members who are working hard on putting together their talks for the Weekend, and that the men who need to be at this retreat will listen to God's call and allow themselves to be led to this wonderful weekend. St. Paul, our patron saint, please pray for these men attending and working on this Men's Weekend.
To enjoy more Quick Takes, check out the list of blogs participating in 7 Quick Takes at Conversion Diary. Thanks to Jen for hosting!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Suffering and Motherhood
Today is the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, a feast day I never really paid much attention to in the past. It was brought to my attention about a month ago and I've had it in my head ever since. A fellow blogger recommended doing a novena to Our Lady of Sorrows. I was completely taken with that novena. It helped me focus my prayer life in a way I didn't think I would be able to again. Since doing that novena I have also felt a deeper connection to Mary.
So today. I wish I could say that I spent some time today reflecting on the sorrows of Mary. Or that I even went to Mass. Even a little bit of quiet prayer time? No, it didn't happen. Too much going on at work today, sad to say.
But that's why I'm writing this. I figured a post in her honor was needed. So here we are.
I love this picture I found! Notice there are seven arrows piercing her. You can't help but think of Luke 2:35. And of course the seven arrows represent the seven sorrows: the prophesy of Simeon; flight into Egypt; loss of Jesus in the Temple; meeting Jesus carrying the Cross; the Crucifixion; receiving the body of Jesus (the Pieta); and Jesus' burial and closing of the tomb.
It's often easy to forget about the suffering Mary as we read about the life and passion of her Son, Jesus Christ. Today is a day to think about her, to realize that her sufferings are also our sufferings. She was a mother who suffered greatly along with her divine Son. If anyone can understand the sufferings mothers go through it is Mary, our Blessed Mother, Our Lady of Sorrows.
On my way home from work today, a show on my local Catholic radio station was talking about suffering and motherhood. Specifically, what is the greatest challenge of motherhood? I was tempted to email in, but opted not to. I wasn't sure I could say something succinctly enough, or coherently enough. Really my comments would not have been regarding the challenges of motherhood so much as the suffering of motherhood.
I'm sure there are others out there who can list the many, many sufferings mothers go through each day. I'm not one of them. My sufferings are very different, but they are still the sufferings of a mother. And Mary understands. There is comfort in that.
Today is a day to recall the cross and then to look to Mary and see her standing by the cross. Did you notice that yesterday's feast was the Exaltation of the Cross? Interesting that these two feast days are right next to each other. We all have crosses in our life, mine is pregnancy loss. We carry those crosses to follow Christ, we unit our sufferings with the crucified Christ, and then we look at Mary. Standing at the foot of the cross, not cowering.
Losing a child is not easy. I have wanted to cower away in the corner, to cry until there are no tears left, to isolate myself away from the world because of my sorrow and suffering. But then I look to Mary and I see her suffering, her sorrow, and, of course, her strength.
Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Seeking Answers
In the midst of dealing with three pregnancy losses over the last few years I have also been struggling to understand why it sometimes seems to be difficult to get pregnant in the first place. I've always known that I had irregular cycles, but it wasn't until I started taking NFP classes that I realized just how weird they are. And then there is the frustration with doctors who do not understand NFP and barely glance at your charts when you bring them in. Just adds to the frustration.
In my area there are no NFP-only doctors. There is one about an hour or so north of us, but because I work for a university with its own health plan and its own Medical School and Medical staff, I am limited to using only the doctors in the University HMO plan. So if I want to see the NFP-only, NaPro trained doctor an hour north in Cincinnati, I would have to pay for the visit myself. I haven't gotten that desperate ... yet.
One of my frustrations is when we talk about using clomid so that I will ovulate and hopefully get pregnant. While this sounds nice (and the Church has nothing against it) I feel like we'd just be doing something to get a result I want and not really trying to fix the problem. If we can fix the problem, shouldn't I then be able to get pregnant without the help of drugs? Maybe, maybe not. But it's worth a try. My next appointment is in October. I've been referring to it as my "Clomid appointment" unless something happens naturally between now and then.
In the meantime, I've lost about 15 pounds and am now back to my weight when we got married. I still want to lose a minimum of 5 more (ideally 10). Weight issues I know can be part of the problem with irregular cycles (in some women, obviously not all). I have a history of very long cycles with occurrences of breakthrough bleeding, which just makes the cycles even longer. Once I finally do ovulate I have a luteal phase that is a very good length (13-15 days) and my temps stay up (both a good sign that my progesterone is doing what it is supposed to be doing.
If it wasn't for learning NFP and charting my cycles I wouldn't know any of this. I'd still be under the delusion that I sometimes have really long cycles and sometimes have really short cycles, not realizing that what I sometimes thought of as a period was actually breakthrough bleeding.
So, yes, the weight loss has been good. After this third loss I actually ovulated again only a two months later. A big improvement over the last two times. And so far in my current cycle, no breakthrough bleeding. But my question is, why am I not ovulating this time?
To answer that question I went back to earlier this year (before my last pregnancy) when I met with the priest who is the chaplain for the infertility group. He is also a former OB/GYN. He looked over my charts and mentioned the possibility that I could be estrogen dominant. That would explain the very long period of time between one period and the next ovulation. In a typical cycle the estrogen is dominant at the beginning, half way through it falls off and the progesterone takes over. This is when you ovulate. If no egg is fertilized and implanted, then the progesterone will fall off after 12-17 days (your luteal phase) and you'll get your period. Estrogen is back in the picture.
I didn't look into that possibility at all because I got pregnant again shortly after that meeting. But the other day I remembered that conversation and decided to do a bit of investigating. What I found was interesting. First Estrogen Dominance is most commonly thought of as an issue for women in menopause. But it's also becoming a bigger and bigger issue for all women. Mostly because of the chemicals that are all around us in our industrialized society.
Googling "estrogen dominance" brings up a lot of information, a little too much. Adding pregnancy as a search term and then doing the search again using infertility brought up some more relevant information.
An article that talked about an assortment of female problems linked to Estrogen Dominance was: Estrogen Dominance & Female Problems found on Nutrition Research Center.
A second article that I found useful was: Infertility: Estrogen Dominance on Shared Journey: Your path to Fertility.
There were plenty of other web pages out there, some with much more medical information on them. But those were also much longer. Eventually, I will go find those and read more, but these first two were a good start.
From reading these I learned a few things. Now, I'm a cautious person and I don't like to do anything without checking with my doctor first. So although supplements may be a good thing, I want to make sure that that I'm not taking too much of anything. I already take a multivitamin. So at this point, I'd like to see what other things I can do to that may make a difference until I can talk to my doctor.
First the weight loss is a help. Both articles mention that. So I'm still working on losing more. Second, there are environmental problems. There are estrogens or xenoestrogens all around is. Plastics are big culprits. As are estrogens in our water supply and just all around us, thanks in part to the *cough* wonderful *cough* Pill.
I started looking around me and realized that I eat fairly healthy, I drink mostly water so caffeine is not an issue (and I don't think I eat enough chocolate for that to be a consideration), and I do get some exercise. The only other thing is plastic. Ever thought about just how much plastic there is around you?
So I replaced the plastic cup I keep at work with a ceramic mug. I am going to get rid of the plastic-ware at my office and buy a set of real silverware to keep there. We are also going to get rid of all (or at least most) of our plastic containers and replace them with glass. We also won't microwave plastic anymore. This is probably all we can do at this point. I don't think it's possible to totally eliminate plastics from our lives.
I saw this article called "Is That Plastic Container Safe?" posted on Facebook today and it has a lot of good info on plastics. One of the most interesting was an explanation of the recycling numbers that are found on plastics. Definitely something to read and check out against the plastics in your life.
That's the current story on what I can do easily and naturally for now until I can get some advise on supplements to assist my cycles even more. But, this is also good information for all women to know about. I urge you to read the links I provided, especially if you notice any health issues in your own life.
As for plastic, any further suggestions on how we can use less plastics?
In my area there are no NFP-only doctors. There is one about an hour or so north of us, but because I work for a university with its own health plan and its own Medical School and Medical staff, I am limited to using only the doctors in the University HMO plan. So if I want to see the NFP-only, NaPro trained doctor an hour north in Cincinnati, I would have to pay for the visit myself. I haven't gotten that desperate ... yet.
One of my frustrations is when we talk about using clomid so that I will ovulate and hopefully get pregnant. While this sounds nice (and the Church has nothing against it) I feel like we'd just be doing something to get a result I want and not really trying to fix the problem. If we can fix the problem, shouldn't I then be able to get pregnant without the help of drugs? Maybe, maybe not. But it's worth a try. My next appointment is in October. I've been referring to it as my "Clomid appointment" unless something happens naturally between now and then.
In the meantime, I've lost about 15 pounds and am now back to my weight when we got married. I still want to lose a minimum of 5 more (ideally 10). Weight issues I know can be part of the problem with irregular cycles (in some women, obviously not all). I have a history of very long cycles with occurrences of breakthrough bleeding, which just makes the cycles even longer. Once I finally do ovulate I have a luteal phase that is a very good length (13-15 days) and my temps stay up (both a good sign that my progesterone is doing what it is supposed to be doing.
If it wasn't for learning NFP and charting my cycles I wouldn't know any of this. I'd still be under the delusion that I sometimes have really long cycles and sometimes have really short cycles, not realizing that what I sometimes thought of as a period was actually breakthrough bleeding.
So, yes, the weight loss has been good. After this third loss I actually ovulated again only a two months later. A big improvement over the last two times. And so far in my current cycle, no breakthrough bleeding. But my question is, why am I not ovulating this time?
To answer that question I went back to earlier this year (before my last pregnancy) when I met with the priest who is the chaplain for the infertility group. He is also a former OB/GYN. He looked over my charts and mentioned the possibility that I could be estrogen dominant. That would explain the very long period of time between one period and the next ovulation. In a typical cycle the estrogen is dominant at the beginning, half way through it falls off and the progesterone takes over. This is when you ovulate. If no egg is fertilized and implanted, then the progesterone will fall off after 12-17 days (your luteal phase) and you'll get your period. Estrogen is back in the picture.
I didn't look into that possibility at all because I got pregnant again shortly after that meeting. But the other day I remembered that conversation and decided to do a bit of investigating. What I found was interesting. First Estrogen Dominance is most commonly thought of as an issue for women in menopause. But it's also becoming a bigger and bigger issue for all women. Mostly because of the chemicals that are all around us in our industrialized society.
Googling "estrogen dominance" brings up a lot of information, a little too much. Adding pregnancy as a search term and then doing the search again using infertility brought up some more relevant information.
An article that talked about an assortment of female problems linked to Estrogen Dominance was: Estrogen Dominance & Female Problems found on Nutrition Research Center.
A second article that I found useful was: Infertility: Estrogen Dominance on Shared Journey: Your path to Fertility.
There were plenty of other web pages out there, some with much more medical information on them. But those were also much longer. Eventually, I will go find those and read more, but these first two were a good start.
From reading these I learned a few things. Now, I'm a cautious person and I don't like to do anything without checking with my doctor first. So although supplements may be a good thing, I want to make sure that that I'm not taking too much of anything. I already take a multivitamin. So at this point, I'd like to see what other things I can do to that may make a difference until I can talk to my doctor.
First the weight loss is a help. Both articles mention that. So I'm still working on losing more. Second, there are environmental problems. There are estrogens or xenoestrogens all around is. Plastics are big culprits. As are estrogens in our water supply and just all around us, thanks in part to the *cough* wonderful *cough* Pill.
I started looking around me and realized that I eat fairly healthy, I drink mostly water so caffeine is not an issue (and I don't think I eat enough chocolate for that to be a consideration), and I do get some exercise. The only other thing is plastic. Ever thought about just how much plastic there is around you?
So I replaced the plastic cup I keep at work with a ceramic mug. I am going to get rid of the plastic-ware at my office and buy a set of real silverware to keep there. We are also going to get rid of all (or at least most) of our plastic containers and replace them with glass. We also won't microwave plastic anymore. This is probably all we can do at this point. I don't think it's possible to totally eliminate plastics from our lives.
I saw this article called "Is That Plastic Container Safe?" posted on Facebook today and it has a lot of good info on plastics. One of the most interesting was an explanation of the recycling numbers that are found on plastics. Definitely something to read and check out against the plastics in your life.
That's the current story on what I can do easily and naturally for now until I can get some advise on supplements to assist my cycles even more. But, this is also good information for all women to know about. I urge you to read the links I provided, especially if you notice any health issues in your own life.
As for plastic, any further suggestions on how we can use less plastics?
Friday, September 10, 2010
7 Quick Takes: vol. 3
I recently had the opportunity to give a witness talk at a Cursillo meeting. I shared a little bit about the experience of giving that talk in my post Sharing my Story. I've recently decided that I should also share that story here on my blog. It needs some editing and I want to also make some of the images available that I used. It may take me a couple weeks, but I hope to share here soon.
I've been praying a Novena to St. Gianna with a whole bunch of people. We have a prayer and a long list of special intentions, mostly about pregnancy, conception, infertility, and other health concerns. Yesterday was the last day of the Novena to ask for St. Gianna's intercession. Today the group starts a novena of thanksgiving. This has been a great experience! And it's so powerful knowing that so many people are joining with us in these two novenas for all our intentions.
I posted yesterday about my experience getting to see and pray before the International Pilgrim Virgin Statue of Our Lady of Fatima. It was such an amazing experience I had to mention it again. Check out my post from yesterday to get the full story.
I mentioned Cursillo in #1. I made my weekend in 2009 and would really like my husband to also make a weekend. He's been reluctant. Of course, I don't want to "make" him do it, he has to want to, but I can't help but mention it whenever I get a chance. We have a Men's weekend coming up in October, the same weekend that I have a conference to attend out of town. So here's our conversation from last night:
Me: "What are you going to do the weekend I'm out of town?"
Him: "I don't know."
Me: "I have something you can do."
Him: "What?" (said with a big sigh, we currently have a long list of home improvement projects)
Me: "It doesn't involve any work!"
Him (much more interested): "Oh, well that sounds good. What?"
Me: "You can attend the Cursillo weekend!"
Haha! He just rolled his eyes at me. What can I say.
I've recently been reading about a particular medical issue that I discussed once with a former Ob/Gyn who is now a priest in our diocese. It helps to know him and be able to ask him questions since I do not have an NFP-only doctor nor is there one available to me through my insurance plan. I got pregnant shortly after he and I had talked about this so I never explored his suggestion. Since the miscarriage and then the weight loss I've managed to do and now watching how my cycles are starting to function again, I've started thinking more about his guess as to what one of my issues may be. This is a long way of saying that I did some reading this week and now I'm contemplating how to eliminate plastic from me life (probably not entirely, but as much as possible). Any suggestions? (And I have a feeling this topic will require fuller treatment in it's own post in the near future).
The weather is getting cooler!! I probably could have worn a light jacket to work today. Absolutely amazing!! I love the cooler temps, the feel of fall in the air. It's just magical. Football has begun and the days are slowing starting to get shorter. It just feels good! I love it.
Despite the wonderful cooler temps, I'm very much looking forward to our upcoming vacation! We'll be heading south to the shoe shaped island off the South Carolina coast to spend a week in a condo on the beach with part of my family. It'll be so nice to have a week with nothing to do but relax and enjoy spending time with people I love. We'll also be stopping along the way (it's a long drive for us) and spending the night with some great friends and I'll get to see my Godson! One more week!!!
For more Quick Takes head over to Conversion Diary where this series is hosted weekly. Many, many more blogs are waiting there for you to check out!!
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Veneration of the Virgin
I had what I believe is a once in a lifetime opportunity this week. The International Pilgrim Virgin Statue of Our Lady of Fatima visited my diocese. Up until I heard a discussion of it on the local Catholic radio (last week?), I had never heard of this.
Oh yes, I've heard of Fatima! But I hadn't heard of this statue. And the more I heard about it the more I wanted to get a chance to see it, pray before it, and offer my prayer petitions to Our Lady. And of course, the Cathedral, my parish, would have the statue visiting on part of her trip throughout the diocese.
The statue was going to be at my parish on Wednesday, which also happened to be the Nativity of the Blessed Mother. How perfect! Only, our bulletin was a bit misleading. Hubby and I planned on attending the 5:30pm Mass, I was going to get there early in order to have some quiet prayer time. That afternoon I decided to look up the website for the Pilgrim Virgin Statue and discovered on their calendar that the statue left the Cathedral at 10am!!
But I looked over the schedule and called hubby and we changed our plans slightly. Actually, I changed mine, his didn't really change much at all. Turns out the next stop was at the campus Newman Center, across the street from my office, and I had 30 minutes. So I went over there and got to at least see the statue, pick up a little booklet about Fatima and the statue, write out and put my petition in the box that accompanies the statue, and listen to a brief talk from the custodians of the Virgin statue. it was all very interesting! And then they started preparing for Mass and I left.
I was disappointed that I didn't really get a chance to see her up close and spend some time in prayer. But I still had to meet hubby at the Cathedral for the evening Mass. That meant walking clear across campus to my car and then back-tracking past the Newman Center and then over to the Cathedral. It's not really that far, but it takes forever at that time of day given our larger enrollment on campus this year (more students=more cars), not to mention that those roads are always busy anyway.
Then a friend told me that the statue would be at her church the entire next day. Thursday morning she emailed me the full schedule. I love having friends in all our the various parishes around me! I always know what's going on!! So after looking over the schedule I decided that a long lunch break was in order and I would head over there for the noon Angelus and the quiet prayer time that would follow.
It was perfect! Exactly what I had been hoping for. I was there for the communal prayers, then said a rosary. Just before I left, I moved up to the front row, right near the statue. I wanted a better look at her face. It was so peaceful looking and yet there was also a sadness in it. And beautiful! She was stunning.
Visit the website, read about Fatima, read about the statue. This statue has been touring the world since 1947. It was blessed by Pope Pius XII, it has actually shed real human tears on multiple occasions, and various cures and miracles have occurred in its wake.
It was such a blessing to be able to spend some time with it; to be there in front of this image of Mary and to ask for Mary's intercession for the intentions I carry in my heart. I pray only that she hears my pleas and brings those prayers to her Son.
Oh yes, I've heard of Fatima! But I hadn't heard of this statue. And the more I heard about it the more I wanted to get a chance to see it, pray before it, and offer my prayer petitions to Our Lady. And of course, the Cathedral, my parish, would have the statue visiting on part of her trip throughout the diocese.
The statue was going to be at my parish on Wednesday, which also happened to be the Nativity of the Blessed Mother. How perfect! Only, our bulletin was a bit misleading. Hubby and I planned on attending the 5:30pm Mass, I was going to get there early in order to have some quiet prayer time. That afternoon I decided to look up the website for the Pilgrim Virgin Statue and discovered on their calendar that the statue left the Cathedral at 10am!!
But I looked over the schedule and called hubby and we changed our plans slightly. Actually, I changed mine, his didn't really change much at all. Turns out the next stop was at the campus Newman Center, across the street from my office, and I had 30 minutes. So I went over there and got to at least see the statue, pick up a little booklet about Fatima and the statue, write out and put my petition in the box that accompanies the statue, and listen to a brief talk from the custodians of the Virgin statue. it was all very interesting! And then they started preparing for Mass and I left.
I was disappointed that I didn't really get a chance to see her up close and spend some time in prayer. But I still had to meet hubby at the Cathedral for the evening Mass. That meant walking clear across campus to my car and then back-tracking past the Newman Center and then over to the Cathedral. It's not really that far, but it takes forever at that time of day given our larger enrollment on campus this year (more students=more cars), not to mention that those roads are always busy anyway.
Then a friend told me that the statue would be at her church the entire next day. Thursday morning she emailed me the full schedule. I love having friends in all our the various parishes around me! I always know what's going on!! So after looking over the schedule I decided that a long lunch break was in order and I would head over there for the noon Angelus and the quiet prayer time that would follow.
It was perfect! Exactly what I had been hoping for. I was there for the communal prayers, then said a rosary. Just before I left, I moved up to the front row, right near the statue. I wanted a better look at her face. It was so peaceful looking and yet there was also a sadness in it. And beautiful! She was stunning.
Visit the website, read about Fatima, read about the statue. This statue has been touring the world since 1947. It was blessed by Pope Pius XII, it has actually shed real human tears on multiple occasions, and various cures and miracles have occurred in its wake.
It was such a blessing to be able to spend some time with it; to be there in front of this image of Mary and to ask for Mary's intercession for the intentions I carry in my heart. I pray only that she hears my pleas and brings those prayers to her Son.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Funny Fan Fight
Sometimes a couple's disagreement can be down right funny. Even to the couple!! Last night we climbed into bed, said our novena together, and then settled in. Hubby took off his glasses and put them over on his nightstand. Turns back to face me and then turns back toward the nightstand for a second and then back around.
That's when I noticed the speed of the fan seemed slower. The remote to the fan is on hubby's nightstand. "Did you turn the fan down?" I asked him.
"Yes, but it was set too high anyway."
"So this is medium," I asked skeptically, it didn't seem like medium.
"Yes"
"Are you lying to me"
"No"
"So it's at Medium?"
"Yes, it's a notch above off."
"That's low, not medium. You did lie!" (Of course, I'm laughing as I say this to him)
He's smiling now too, knowing that I like the fan on no matter how cool the room already is. (He was probably rolling his eyes at me too.) "No, low is off, medium is one high than low."
I laughed at this!! "There are three speeds and off isn't one of them. Off is off, then there is low, medium, and high."
He laughed at me and told me not to worry about it as I pulled the comforter off of us and threw it towards the end of the bed. "It doesn't need to be any higher, it's fine."
That's when he got up again to use the bathroom. And when I put things right! He didn't say anything else when he returned.
I'm glad we can disagree and laugh our way through the conversation! :)
That's when I noticed the speed of the fan seemed slower. The remote to the fan is on hubby's nightstand. "Did you turn the fan down?" I asked him.
"Yes, but it was set too high anyway."
"So this is medium," I asked skeptically, it didn't seem like medium.
"Yes"
"Are you lying to me"
"No"
"So it's at Medium?"
"Yes, it's a notch above off."
"That's low, not medium. You did lie!" (Of course, I'm laughing as I say this to him)
He's smiling now too, knowing that I like the fan on no matter how cool the room already is. (He was probably rolling his eyes at me too.) "No, low is off, medium is one high than low."
I laughed at this!! "There are three speeds and off isn't one of them. Off is off, then there is low, medium, and high."
He laughed at me and told me not to worry about it as I pulled the comforter off of us and threw it towards the end of the bed. "It doesn't need to be any higher, it's fine."
That's when he got up again to use the bathroom. And when I put things right! He didn't say anything else when he returned.
I'm glad we can disagree and laugh our way through the conversation! :)
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