Saturday Smiles, no. 16

This week I saw the love of Christ shining through someone in a way that I don't think I ever have before. I couldn't do anything but smile, he had such a contagious glow about him as he talked about Christ and the importance of Him in our lives. I was truly in awe of the deep love I could feel coming from this person as we talked.

To give you a little bit of context, I started spiritual direction this week with a priest that I have known for a couple years or so. Spiritual direction is something I have thought about doing on and off over the past several years. I would think about it, start asking around about it some, drop it, start thinking about it again, and so on. I finally decided to ask a priest I knew. I went to daily Mass one day, deciding that if he was there that day I would try and catch him after Mass just to see if it was a possibility.

But when I went to Mass that day a different priest was there, someone I also knew some. No big deal, there was always email or I'd see him another time. The during the homily I heard a small voice inside me tell me that this was the priest I needed to be seeking spiritual direction from, not the one I was planning on asking. So I did, and now a few months later we finally managed to set up a time to get started.

This was definitely the right choice for me. I can say that with certainty after just one session. To see this priest talk about Christ in such a loving way did so much for my heart. I felt like Christ Himself was shining through this man across the table from me. 

And all I could do was smile!

Now it's your turn: How did you witness Christ in your life this week? Comment below or link up your own blog post.

Image source morgueFile

Saturday Smiles, no. 15

Image source: morgueFile

How did you feel God's presence in your life this week? Or how did you feel closer to God in the last week? I was very busy this week and received some incredibly sad news about a friend and the thought of doing this post was not at all on my priority list.

But then, very early Thursday morning (see Take #2 and 4 on this post) I stepped outside and looked up and was caught by surprise. It was still very dark out; it had been a clear night. And the sky was covered in little bitty stars. It caught me off guard, I think, because I hadn't really looked up at the night sky in a very long time. Something I used to like to do a lot.

It made me smile and it made me think of the vastness of time and space, the indescribable creation God has placed before us, and just how small I am in it all. But despite my smallness I know God loves me. That made me smile even more.

I thanked God for putting me in a place where I could see something again that is always right there for me to see but that I hadn't taken the opportunity to see in a very long time. I definitely appreciated the quiet stillness of the early morning, the coldness in the air, and the beauty of the sky more than I had in the past. God's beauty was everywhere that morning. I'm so glad I got to experience it for a short time.

Now it's your turn! Comment below or link up your own blog post. I'm looking forward to reading your experiences with God this week.

Why I Am Pro-Life: Reason #1

This is part 1 of a series of as yet to be determined parts on why I am Pro-Life. I have not always been pro-life and I hope my witness can be of interest to others who are on the fence, do not have a strong opinion, or feel that there are some cases in which abortion should be allowed. I hope this series can be of help for anyone questioning the pro-choice agenda.

As I contemplated how exactly to begin this series of posts, I couldn't decide how intentionally forceful I should make the very first post. In the end I decided that going for a big punch wasn't important. What was important was that I start and that I share from the heart. So I encourage you to read this post and to stick around for the others, especially if this one does not speak to you. There will be more.

Why am I Pro-Life? It's a good question because I have not always been a champion for the rights of the unborn. It saddens me to think of who I once was. But at the same time I have had several years of asking questions, studying, and listening to others, years I wouldn't trade for anything. I feel like now my position is much more a part of me than if this was something i had just always accepted without question.

And for those who might be like me ... which is stubborn, by the way ... I encourage you to simply listen.

Reason #1 why I am pro-life: I listened.

It's such a simple thing. And yet we (society in general) really don't know how to listen anymore. We hear lots of things ... but do we really listen?

I held an opinion because it made the most sense to me from an emotional perspective. I honestly didn't put a lot of thought into it. I just knew though that abortion had to be a choice that could not be taken away. The problem was that I had no real reason for believing that other than that it just made sense. Had I been challenged on an intellectual level, I don't know that I would have been able to make a solid case for legal abortion.

Then one day I began volunteering to play with a music group at my church. I was just embarking on my journey back to the Church and thought this would be a good way to do something in the church, meet other people, and learn some about the faith. The problem was that I still wasn't listening. Rehearsals mostly consisted of talk about the music and how the music fit into the liturgy (I learned a lot about the beauty of the Mass from that experience) but every now and again the talk would veer off into something else. You have to understand, this was a small group, about 6-8 of us at any given time. Off topic discussions happen frequently in small groups.

There was one person in the group, who also happened to be a doctor, who was very pro-life. If he got on the topic he could talk your ear off. For a long while I tended to zone out and not listen. I think I knew, probably subconsciously, that if I had really listened to him, he could have easily shattered my perspective.

Thankfully, God doesn't give up. Eventually, I did start to take notice. Certain points started making sense. I found myself listening just a very tiny bit more. I'd go home and search for sources to justify my own position and come up with either nothing substantial or websites to groups that didn't seem to have Church approval (and they didn't, I later discovered).

Listening to this person pushed me to start thinking about this issue on a more intellectual level. The emotional reasons for supporting abortion easily crumble when you have to start putting facts to it. But that is not to say that there is not an emotional side to the pro-life position.

On the contrary, I was surprised that there was much, much more to the pro-life position than I had originally thought. But I will save that for the next post: Reason #2.

Saturday Smiles, no. 13

The landscaping around Mary has completely changed
but I haven't had a chance to get a new picture yet.
Still, I love this statue!

I left my office on Friday just after lunch and as I walked to my car in the pouring rain, balancing the umbrella, a couple bags, and my water bottle, I looked over at the Mary statue in the side garden of the Newman Center and pondered what God wanted of me right now, at this time in my life. Did He want something from me? Or maybe He had a lesson for me I am supposed to be learning? What, I wondered, was I not seeing that God wanted me to see?

I know God is with me all the time. Intellectually, I know and understand this and completely, faithfully, accept it. I know His presence is in my life and in the people's lives all around me. But I often feel as if I miss seeing Him. 

These thoughts flitted in and out of my mind the rest of the day. How is God working in my life right now? I'm not sure I can answer that question. And the problem is that I have very little practice at answering that question.

For the first 26 years or more of my life I really didn't think about God's presence in it at all. I have always been a believer, I have never knowingly rejected Him, but He certainly took a backseat in my life for many years.

In hindsight I can see how God worked in my life and I've acknowledged that many times in various posts. But it is the present, the day-in and day-out of living and acknowledging God's work in my life as it is happening. I don't expect to recognize it all the time, but right now it is never. 

So here we are at the 13th installment of these "Saturday Smiles" posts and I am struggling. This will always be a struggle for me, I know. I'm okay with that. But I keep hoping I'll get just a teensy bit better. 

It's a work in progress. I'm a work in progress!

Nevertheless, despite these deep thoughts and my doubts of my own abilities, God has given me plenty to smile about: a wonderful family, family and friends that want to see us when we are passing through town, the ability to take a week off to visit family and take a vacation, wonderful friends in my life, and the ability to attend Mass in any city and have it be the same Mass as if we were at home.

Now you tell me: Do you recognize God's presence in your life? How did you this week? 

Saturday Smiles, no. 10

Courtesy of
DesignsbyBirgit.blogspot.com

I had one of those realization moments this week that made me aware of God's presence in my life. It was a moment that made me see how the Hand of God has been directing my life without me even know it. And when you have that moment of realization it can be overwhelming. Only someone who loves you as much as God does can have that kind of patience with such a stubborn person.

A friend of mine posted a political cartoon this week on her Facebook page. It was one of those cartoons that is funny if you are pro-life.  If you're not, it was probably a little off-putting. as these things go, a conversation had developed under the picture in which one person was arguing the pro-abortion side of things against my friend and all her (our) other friends. The logic the pro-abortion person was using was so illogical that I couldn't help myself and I stepped in to say something.

By her logic, my children that died before birth never actually existed and were not human. So I had to ask her what my son was if he was not human. I had felt his movements before he died, seen his heartbeat, held him in my arms after his death and birth, counted his fingers and toes, touched is perfect little face, and so on. But he wasn't human according to her logic. It was a ridiculous argument, obviously.

As expected she did not respond to my comment. I really didn't expect her to because otherwise she would have had to admit the fault in her logic. I know how these conversations go, I understand ignoring the points that challenge your logic ... because I used to be on her side.

I read the rest of the conversation, but didn't bother contributing again. I had made my point, been ignored, but maybe had planted a seed. That was enough.

But as I scanned through the conversation and thought about where I used to be and where I am now, I can see God's Hand in my life. I know it was He who sent the right people in my path to challenge my ideas and get me to think differently. He placed me in the right places, at the right times to challenge me as I needed to be challenged. And I'm glad He did. I had a momentary thought about how different my miscarriages and Zachary's stillbirth might have been had I still been "pro-choice" at the time. I'm incredibly grateful that I did not have to experience those losses from that point of view.

I often have these little moments of realization where I see how it is all part of God's plan that I am where I am at this time and in this place. This was one of those moments. It's funny how a simple political cartoon can bring about such introspection.

Thank you, God, for guiding me to the life that I have today. I pray that I will continue to trust in you.

Putting God in Charge of my Priorities

I really should be doing something else right now. Actually, I should be doing a lot of things right now. Sleep would be nice, but that's not on the top of my list right now. Most likely my priorities are a little out of whack, but that's okay, we can worry about that another time.

Instead I am sitting at my desk with my Bible on one side of me and a handout from a presentation I went to a while back on the other side of me. I am supposed to be writing a talk. A talk I am giving on Saturday. Yes ... THIS Saturday. The Bible, the handout, my notes (on the handout), these are my tools. Sitting idly by while I write a blog post about why I'm not writing my talk.

What was that about priorities?

This week has been crazy. I think that craziness has made it difficult for me to concentrate on something that needs focused attention. Last week I was sick, so doing anything was out of the question. This week, I'm better but had so much stuff to catch up on. And I know I'm probably forgetting something too.

And sometimes you just need a break. And that's what we did Wednesday night. And on our way to get some frozen yogurt (thus delaying the boys' bedtime) my iPod alarm went off and I remembered a meeting I was supposed to attend right then. And that triggered a reminder in my brain that Hubby's wine club was also that evening. So I missed my meeting (luckily that turned out okay) and we have no new wines (sadness), but we had frozen yogurt (which made the boys very happy, until it was gone and then they were very angry).

Breaks are good ... necessary actually. And I have another very long break coming up! A whole week away. But before that, I really need to get this talk written. And a letter written that I was asked to submit today. And I have to brush up on my football knowledge for an interview I'm doing (more on that later). And prepare a presentation I was asked to do in Early October. And, and, and ...

Well, okay, I can wait a bit on the October thing. Priorities!

What I really needed to do tonight was write this post. Weird, I know. But for me, it helped to get something written. It broke the ice for more writing I need to do. And writing helps me focus. It's a good exercise for the brain.

Now I can focus on the talk and I think I'll put off the letter. I'm sure the letter is needed tomorrow, but it will have to wait. I can't do it all. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit I can do everything within the time frame God has planned for me. I need to allow Him to guide me in my priorities.

Come Holy Spirit,

fill the hearts of us your faithful

and kindle in us the fire of Your love.

Send forth Your Spirit and we shall be created,

and You shall renew the face of the earth.

O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit

instructs the hearts of the faithful,

grant that by the same Holy Spirit

we may be truly wise

and ever rejoice

in His consolations.

Through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

God, I pray for guidance. 

Send your Spirit to guide me in the words You need me to share.

Amen.