Saturday, September 29, 2012

Saturday Smiles, no. 13

The landscaping around Mary has completely changed
but I haven't had a chance to get a new picture yet.
Still, I love this statue!
I left my office on Friday just after lunch and as I walked to my car in the pouring rain, balancing the umbrella, a couple bags, and my water bottle, I looked over at the Mary statue in the side garden of the Newman Center and pondered what God wanted of me right now, at this time in my life. Did He want something from me? Or maybe He had a lesson for me I am supposed to be learning? What, I wondered, was I not seeing that God wanted me to see?

I know God is with me all the time. Intellectually, I know and understand this and completely, faithfully, accept it. I know His presence is in my life and in the people's lives all around me. But I often feel as if I miss seeing Him. 

These thoughts flitted in and out of my mind the rest of the day. How is God working in my life right now? I'm not sure I can answer that question. And the problem is that I have very little practice at answering that question.

For the first 26 years or more of my life I really didn't think about God's presence in it at all. I have always been a believer, I have never knowingly rejected Him, but He certainly took a backseat in my life for many years.

In hindsight I can see how God worked in my life and I've acknowledged that many times in various posts. But it is the present, the day-in and day-out of living and acknowledging God's work in my life as it is happening. I don't expect to recognize it all the time, but right now it is never. 

So here we are at the 13th installment of these "Saturday Smiles" posts and I am struggling. This will always be a struggle for me, I know. I'm okay with that. But I keep hoping I'll get just a teensy bit better. 

It's a work in progress. I'm a work in progress!

Nevertheless, despite these deep thoughts and my doubts of my own abilities, God has given me plenty to smile about: a wonderful family, family and friends that want to see us when we are passing through town, the ability to take a week off to visit family and take a vacation, wonderful friends in my life, and the ability to attend Mass in any city and have it be the same Mass as if we were at home.

Now you tell me: Do you recognize God's presence in your life? How did you this week? 

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