Thoughts on the Annunciation

Today the Church celebrates the Annunciation. On this day we commemorate when the angel Gabriel came to Mary to announce that she would conceive a son and He would be the Messiah.

Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.

This morning when I opened my iPod to look up Morning Prayer, I noticed a short essay in my prayer app on the Annunciation. Specifically it was reflecting on whether Mary could have said no. One paragraph in particular struck me:

"When we come to an important decision in our lives, we can easily find our minds clouded by the possible consequences, or, even more, by partial knowledge of them. How can we ever move, when there is so much good and evil whichever way we go? The Annunciation gives us the answer. God's grace will give us the strength to move, even if the fate of the whole world is hanging in the balance. After all, God does not demand that our decisions should be the correct ones (assuming that there even is such a thing), only that they should be rightly made." [Catholic Calendar app for iPod Touch, March 25, 2014] 

This makes me think about how, when faced with a decision, especially between two good things, I can pray about it and never really feel like I get an answer from God. Sometimes I just want God to tell me which I should do. But He won't that's not how he works. Reading the paragraph above makes me realize that I don't always need a clear answer. Very little in life is black and white. There are lots of gray areas. As long as I make decisions in the right way, I will benefit. I might be better for those decisions or I might learn from them. I might find peace or I might be led to make a different decision the next time.

In all, the important point is that decisions are "rightly made." We do this through prayer, seeking appropriate counsel, and evaluating the consequences to both ourselves and others who may also be affected by our decisions. If we so all these things, regardless of what the decision is, we can at least know that we made the decision rightly.

40 Days for the USA

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the next prayer campaign that Catholic Sistas is promoting. This will be our third 40 Days of Prayer campaign during the last several months. We want lots of people praying with us on this one. Our cause this time is our great country, the United States of America.

The campaign starts on Saturday September 1. That's tomorrow! This is a critical time in our country and our prayers are very much needed right now. You can join the event page on Facebook to get the daily updates during the campaign. The Catholic Sistas Facebook fan page will also post the daily prayers and I will try to post them on the fan page for Journal of a Nobody too. We'd also appreciate it if you would promote this campaign to all your friends.

Even if you can't pray the prayers along with us each day, please keep our country in your daily prayers during this time and long afterwards as well.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, patroness of the United States of America, pray for us.

Wordless Wednesday

Peter's first school art project

Ethan's first school art project

The benches are in memory of someone's twin brother.
(UK Newman Center)

Thinking about Mary

Today you can read part of my pregnancy loss story over at Catholic Sistas.

A little over four years ago I experienced my first miscarriage.  It was the beginning of a dark time for me as I would go on to have two additional losses (a stillbirth and another miscarriage) over the next two and a half years.  But at the time I wasn’t aware of what the future held (thank goodness for that).  My mind was only on the present sadness enveloping me.

As I reflected on the month of May and honoring our Blessed Mother, I found myself returning to thoughts of that first miscarriage.  The thing is, at the time of that miscarriage, I didn’t really have much of a devotion to Mary.  I wasn’t hung up at all worrying that a devotion to her might detract from my devotion to Christ.  It wasn’t that.  I just hadn’t ever bothered.  But I had a desire to seek a deeper relationship with her knowing that through her I would also deepen my relationship with her Son.

So really it came as something of a shock to me when in the days following the miscarriage I often had thoughts of Mary holding my little baby for me.  There she was in my mind’s eye wrapping that precious child in her loving arms.


Read the rest of the story over at Catholic Sistas.

7 Quick Takes Friday, vol. 29

~1~

Last Friday at work, we said farewell to one of my staff members.  She decided to take a big leap of faith and change career paths.  I think the cake illustrates well her career change:

"From Books to Crooks"

~2~

I promised a picture of the Mary statue that I talked about in my post from Wednesday.  My camera's battery failed me Thursday when I tried to take a picture.  But a wonderful co-worker walked over and took a few pictures for me with his phone.  I really need a phone or new iPod Touch that has a camera on it.  One day!  In the meantime, here is the new Mary statue on campus:

~3~

The Blessed Mother at the University's Newman Center
Photo coutesy of Daniel N.

~4~

Thursday morning I poked my head into the boys room to make sure they were still sleeping before heading downstairs to grab some breakfast.  I found Peter like this:

I can't believe he had rolled over on his own!!  He doesn't like being on his tummy and usually struggles and eventually screams during tummy-time, so I was waiting for him to wake up and be very upset.  Sure enough he was!  I still haven't seen him roll over yet, but I now know he can do it.

~5~

If everything works well with the boys' schedules on Saturday, we'll be taking them to their first public square Rosary.  Our Bishop is leading a Divine Mercy Chaplet and Rosary starting at 3pm across the street from the abortion clinic in town.  I'm not really able to participate in the 40 Days for Life campaign, but I can do this.  So that's where we'll be on Saturday.

~6~

We had a second showing on our house this week, same people from the week before.  Unfortunately, they are not making an offer.  They liked the downstairs and the yard, but felt that the bedrooms were on the small side.  I have to agree.  Why do you think we're moving?

~7~

I hope everyone has a nice weekend!  Fall is finally starting to feel like it is here to stay!  I love it!!

Head over to Conversion Diary to check out more Quick Takes.

Nice Surprises on Campus

My office at the university is not too far from the Catholic Newman Center on campus.  As a matter of fact, I usually park in one of the lots either right next to or just across the street from the Newman Center.  So I walk by it pretty much every day, twice.

Monday when I left work I couldn't help but smile as I walked through the Newman Center parking lot.  Right there in the courtyard area of the Center, right next to the parking lot, was a nice size statue of Mary. 

It must be about 5 feet tall and she faces out to the parking lot.  I loved seeing her there!!  What a wonderful addition to our campus and to the Newman Center.

Tuesday morning as I headed into the office I couldn't help but look for her as I walked by the Newman Center again.  Almost like I thought I had dreamed it the day before. 

But there she was.  And this time she had company.

Just as I was walking by, a group of students came out of the Newman Center and walked right over to Mary.  As I took one last look over my shoulder I noticed them all bowing their heads in prayer.

Almost brings tears to my eyes!  How awesome to see this on a college campus.  There is hope for the future of our Church!

And Mary is leading them!!

What did Mary see?

One afternoon I was sitting in our family room with one of the boys in my arms.  He was stretched out in front of me with his head in my hands and his feet against my chest.  Perfect for making eye contact.

As I sat there looking at him and trying to get him to look back at me and potentially smile (oh, how I love to see those smiles that are still so few and far between!!), I wondered what it was like for Mary to look into her baby's face.  Her baby ... Jesus; her child ... the Son of God.

What an amazing responsibility.  What did she see in those eyes?  In that face?  What were her thoughts as she looked at this helpless little baby who was also her God?

I can't even imagine!!  Wow, what a thought!

I feel overwhelmed at times when I think of the awesome responsibility I have in raising my two boys as faithful Catholics and servants of God the Father.  The sense of responsibility Mary must have felt had to have been enormous ... totally unfathomable to me.  She was raising a son who WAS God.

So as I looked into my baby's face and watched his jerky arm movements and the eyes that wouldn't quite look at me, I wondered about the baby Jesus.  Was He the same way? 

However, I wondered most about His mother.  What did she see when she looked into that face and those eyes?  Did He have those same jerky arm movements that little babies all have?  Or was He different?  Did He cry for her in the pitiful way infants sometimes do?  Did He keep her up at night?  Or was He different?

So many questions going through my head.

Mary pondered much in her heart and I bet she had many thoughts about what would become of her son when she looked into those little infant eyes of His.  Did those thoughts fill her with joy or sorrow?   Did she fully realize the sorrow and suffering that was in store for her?

Suffering is a part of motherhood and the Blessed Mother knows this better than anyone.  I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone as I begin this journey of motherhood.  As I look at my little one, cuddled in my arms, I like to think that Mary once did the same thing.  She is a mother and she is my mother.  With her by my side I know I can raise my boys well.

Blessed Mother, give me the strength needed to raise my boys in this crazy world, to share with them a devotion to you, and to lead them, through you, to your divine Son.  Mother Mary, pray for us.

Feeling Closer to Mary

I have had several random thoughts in my head over the last week of thing that I might blog about.  But time just keeps getting away from me this week.  As it is, it's getting late in the evening and I should be winding down and going to bed, but instead I finally decided to write another post.  So here I am, hopefully for not too long.

Tonight I attended a meeting at my church which is really just a group discussion.  We've been reading a letter (really, too long to be called a "letter") from the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops on the topic of Stewardship.  In the last section that we had to read for tonight there were no reflection questions, so instead our priest leading the group asked us to pick out a sentence that struck us and tell us why.

I panicked slightly since I had not read the entire thing before tonight and had only skimmed this last section right before we started.  But near the end there was some mention of the Blessed Mother and one small section had stood out for me.

Of course, before I could mention it someone else mentioned the exact sentence I was thinking of.  As I listened to him and reflected on this more my eyes moved down to the next paragraph and my attention was caught again, and much more profoundly.  Here is what I read:

As Mother of God, her stewardship consisted of her maternal service and devotion to Jesus, from infancy to adulthood, up to the agonizing hours of Jesus death.

I read this passage several times and when I finally got a chance to speak I mentioned that this was one part that touched me.  But I found it hard to vocalize why.  I have been contemplating it more ever since I got home tonight.  (Maybe not having a TV for a few days is good for me!)

The first thing that struck me was how much Mary understands the loss of a child.  She had to go through a most agonizing loss, one I could never imagine.  No matter what I have been through, she understands and she is there for me to lean on.

Over the last several years I have leaned on Mary more and more.  Despite growing up Catholic, I never understood how a devotion to Mary could be so special.  But she has played a greater and greater part in my faith life in recent years.  Part of that is because of the losses I have suffered.  She knows my pain and grief and has experienced it herself on an even more agonizing level.

More recently I have turned to Mary to ask for her intercession for the health of the two babies I am currently carrying.  I find myself praying to her almost daily: asking for her prayers for my babies, for other friends who are suffering loss, dealing with infertility, trying to get pregnant, and for healthy pregnancies for those who are expecting.

As I contemplated the passage from the Bishop's letter regarding Mary and her stewardship I realized that this sentence is also about motherhood.  Motherhood itself is something I have really given very little thought to.

What I mean is, yes, I have thought about how my life will change being a mom; how I will be responsible for more than just me on a daily basis; and how having little people around all the time will change our family dynamic.  But what I really hadn't thought about was motherhood in terms of stewardship, that is service and devotion to the family.

There was a lot in Mary's fiat to the angel Gabriel.  It wasn't just that she would carry and give birth to the Son of God, it was also that she would raise Him to be a man, watch after Him, teach Him, and one day have to let go of Him.  He wasn't hers.  He was God's ... He was God!  She had a duty and a responsibility that she had to put her whole heart and soul into without expecting anything in return.

I guess this is what motherhood is.  We receive our children as gifts from God.  They aren't really ours, they are His children.  But He gives them to us and we become responsible for teaching them about Him and to follow His will.  We will pour our hearts and souls into raising our children, but one day we will have to let them go.  They will become adults and move into the world and we just have to hope and pray that we did our jobs, the jobs God gave us to do.  Hopefully few of us will have to watch our children go as Mary did.  But I can imagine that the letting go when they go to college or move out on their own or whatever can be just as hard for a mom.

For me, mine are still "baking" and some of these thoughts are years down the road.  But just thinking of the awesome responsibility of motherhood is a bit overwhelming.  Not that this is like consuming my mind or anything, I'm just having a deep night.  (Maybe its because I actually slept some last night without getting up 6-7 times!  Plus the thing about not having a TV currently.) 

So is this a new thought or do you experienced moms already know this?  "This" being the idea that motherhood is a service and act of stewardship given to us by God to raise His children.

I will say that on some level, yes, I did know this.  But I guess I hadn't truly internalized it until tonight as I contemplated the idea of Mary as a steward in her maternal service to Jesus.