Is There a Disconnect Between NFP and Children at Mass?

There was a great article on Catholic Sistas this week that you must go read. Seriously, go and read it now and then come back here for my thoughts: NFP - Long Term Promises.

Did you read the article? Go ahead, I can wait.

When I first read this article I was blown away by the basic premise of this post. Basically that there is a disconnect in the Church between those who practice NFP and are open to life and those who think the Mass should be quiet and child-free. This is the main idea I took away from this article The article was not primarily about the people in Mass who give a young family the "stink eye" when a small toddler makes a noise or a baby whimpers for a moment or some small child lets out an unexpected scream. The author of the article wasn't even complaining about anyone commenting directly to her or her family about anything her kids were doing.

What was interesting to me though was that the majority of the comments focused on things like "ignore those people who give you the stink eye" or something similar. Not all the comments, but quite a few.

It seems to me that the actually point of the article was missed by many readers.

I agree with this post and I'm going share with you why. First, there is what the Church teaches. We teach an openness to life, we teach against contraception, and we teach that couples who have discerned that they need to postpone or avoid pregnancy can use Natural Family Planning (NFP). That's what we teach, plain and simple.

What the Church teaches and what the people actually do are two different thing. It's no surprise to anyone that a great majority of our fellow Catholics do not follow the teachings of our Church. It's incredibly sad and disappointing.

Another problem we encounter is the culture of death right in our own pews. The "culture of death" is so pervasive in our society that even among faithful Catholics the idea of having more than two children is crazy talk. I'm not saying that every couples needs half a dozen children or more. Only that we should be open to God's plan for us and not listen to the culture around us. Many couples who are open to God's plan will only have one or two children, others will have more. It's not the number of children that matters, it's being open to God's will and not our own. But because of the "culture of death" that has made it's way into our collective subconscious, people in general have developed an impatience with the normal chatter of children, even when it's quiet chatter.

Finally, and this is where I believe the article above really hits the nail on the head, we need more support for those couples who are following the Church's teaching and who are open to God's will for their family in terms of family size (whether they are practicing NFP or leaving their family size up to God's providence).

In my particular Catholic community (not just my parish, but the Catholic community I am in my city which has about 7 or 8 parishes), I see a lot of promotion of NFP. It's a diocesan requirement now in marriage prep to take an NFP course. It's often in the bulletin, it's talked about on our local Catholic radio stations, and there are many people I know personally who practice some form of NFP. We have a pretty large pro-life support in the community as well. All of these are great things. What I don't really see is ongoing support for couples who practice what the Church actually teaches.

We need more ongoing support for couples who humble themselves to follow Christ's teaching in His Holy Church. Jesus said "Let the children come to me." I hope we can grow as a Church to include children at all levels. They should be in Mass with their cries and whimpers and constant whispering because Jesus wants them there (and yes, there are also valid reasons for using the nursery/cry room, I'm not saying you can't take advantage of that option if you have it and need it).

And others in the pews around those young families need to remember that those children are our future. They are the future of the Church. Without them, there will be no Church. We need our children in Mass. We need them to start learning about the Mass from a young age so they will become more engaged as they get older.

For those in the pews around these young families, give them a smile when their kids acts up. Try to remember those days when your own children did the same. Give them encouragement after Mass to keep bringing their children. Don't tell them to take their kid out or to go to the cry room, most parents know when they need to do that, they don't need someone else telling them.

Most importantly, we need to encourage parents to bring their kids to Mass. If they get the "stink eye" one too many times or have some stranger near them in the pews tell them they should leave their kids in the nursery or take them to the cry room, the message they are getting is that children aren't welcome. That they need to limit the number of children they have or not bring them to Mass. Imagine if that young couple was coming back to the Church for the first time in years. Do you think they are likely to come back?

Would Jesus like that? I don't think so. If we want to encourage a culture of life throughout the entire Church, we need to be open and welcoming of children at Mass. And we need to provide support for those parents who are in the throws of those early childhood years.

I know, I have two toddlers, both two years old. In five months (God willing!) I will have three kids under three. But we'll be taking them to Mass with us and sitting in one of the first few pews every Sunday. Don't give me the stink eye, because I'll just send it back at you!

Let's close the disconnect between teaching NFP/encouraging couples to use NFP and the attitude of completely quiet, well-behaved children or no children at Mass. We need ongoing NFP support for couples who want to be encouraged to keep on keeping on. Until we combat the culture of death infringing its way into our Church, we are going to have a tough time overcoming the poor attitudes toward children that many parents run into on a regular basis.

Does your parish offer some sort of support for young parents? How does it encourage an openness to the culture of life?

The Appeal of Organic and Natural

Organic! Natural! No preservatives! Buy local!

It's everywhere we look today. It's in the grocery stores, on TV, all over Facebook. Everyone wants to live a natural life as much as possible. Hormone-free meats and diary, less processed junk, no GMOs, etc., etc. The list can get pretty long.

But there is one area of people's lives in which they seem okay with adding hormones to their bodies or using unnatural devises in their bodies. It's rather mind boggling really. How can you be so picky about your food and other chemicals you and your family come in contact with, but be okay with these other things?

I am, of course, talking about the pill, IUDs, and any other devise that is used as birth control by millions of people every day. 

Courtesy of iusenfp.com

I find it confusing when I see friends of mine post things on Facebook about GMOs in food or any other unnatural, food additives that are illegal in other countries but okay with our FDA here in the US. I'm confused because often these are the same people I happen to know also use some form of unnatural contraceptives in their bodies.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be concerned about the food that we eat and serve our families. We should, absolutely!! I want my family to eat healthy foods, to not be ingesting hormones they don't need or chemicals that are bad for them. I share those same concerns.

And it is because of those same concerns, among other reasons, that I don't take the pill or use some unnatural devise to prevent pregnancy. Yes, one of my main reasons is the teachings of the Catholic Church, but this other stuff plays into it as well.

Here's the thing. The pill contains hormones your body doesn't need. You are adding more hormones into your body with regular consumption of the pill than you would ever get from a steak that came from a cow who was given extra hormones. So if you're so concerned about your food, you really should be more concerned about the pill.

I saw some recent discussions in which friends of mine shared that they had seen the copper IUD held up as a "natural" form of birth control. Seriously? Inserting a devise made of copper into your ... is "natural." I'm no science expert, never took anatomy in school, but I'm pretty sure copper is not a natural part of our bodies. Anyone??

All those devises that can be inserted for long periods of time, they also have hormones in them. How do you think they work?? Again, it's not natural for our bodies to be getting more hormones than we need. And long term, they can cause all sorts of problems, from infertility to cancer to who knows what else. Why take that risk??

Okay, so you see the point, maybe? Or at least you have something to think about? Do some research yourself and read a bit more if you think I'm crazy or smoking something. Regardless, maybe you're thinking that this is something to be rethought. Maybe you'll just use condoms or something in the meantime. No hormones there, right?

True, no hormones there. But condoms are one of the most unreliable forms of birth control there is. Take your chances if you want. But remember this, when you give yourself to your spouse you should be doing it totally and completely, giving him ALL of you, holding nothing back. It is about you and him (and God) and no one, or nothing, else. How does a piece of rubber fit into that equation?

Courtesy of the Couple to Couple League

While you chew on that for a bit, let me introduce a new concept to you: Natural Family Planning, or NFP for short. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa!!! you say!! STOP! Don't close up this window. Hear me out and keep reading.

Natural Family Planning is NOT the Rhythm Method. It does not assume that every woman has cycles the same length or that individual women have the same cycle time after time. NFP is a series of different methods that work WITH your body's natural processes. You learn to observe the fertility signs your body naturally goes through, chart those, and then identify your fertile and infertile times. It's really very simple once you learn it.

I won't go into the various methods here. But I do want to leave you with a list of resources. Keep an open mind and check them out. Remember, this is all natural. You like it when your food says "All Natural, No Preservatives" on it. Shouldn't other aspects of your life also be "All Natural?"

I Use NFP

Live-The-Love

One More Soul (resource with medical information, articles, and ability to find an NFP doctor in your area)

Taking Charge of Your Fertility (a non-religious site on fertility awareness)

NFP and More 

Various NFP methods include:

Symto-Thermal Method, taught by the Couple to Couple League: http://www.ccli.org/

Creighton Model: http://www.creightonmodel.com/ and Creighton Fertility Care: http://www.fertilitycare.org/

Marquette Method: http://nfpstudy.marquette.edu/

Billings Method: http://www.woomb.org/

Serena: http://www.serena.ca/ (based in Canada)

This post was written and inspired by this week's NFP Awareness Week (many more resources available at this website). This post is also part of the "7 posts in 7 days" challenge.
I've also linked this post up to an NFP Week Linkup at NFPandMe.blogspot.com. 

For Pro-Choicers: What Does the Texas Bill REALLY Say

Courtesy of Designs by Birgit

I want to take a moment to address any pro-choice family, friends or other readers who may stumble across this blog post. I doubt many read my blog due to the pro-life nature of many of my posts, but on the off chance that someone does read this, I want to take a moment to share what the "Abortion Bill" in Texas is really about. I've been trying to read about it on both sides of the issue and I'm amazed at how completely misunderstood this bill is by the main stream media.

Quick Background
In a recent special session of the Texas legislature Senate Bill 5 came up for a vote on June 25, the last day of the session. Sen. Wendy Davis (D) took the day to give an 11 hour filibuster to stop voting on the bill. Voting took place at the last second, unfortunately it was ruled to have taken place just past midnight on June 26. So the vote to pass the bill was declared null. Pro-lifers took the phones and Gov. Perry called for a second special session to begin on July 1. The bill, commonly referred to now as the "abortion bill" will be refiled for this second special session along with other bills that still needed to be discussed, etc. The bill will be filed under a new number (I believe House Bill 2, initially) when the new session starts.

So now we're all up to speed.

The question is, though, what does the bill say?

On the Pro-abortion side, people are saying that this bill will close all abortion facilities in the state of Texas. They claim that this bill is bad for women, takes away their right to abortion and forces women to have babies they do not want.

On the Pro-life side, people are saying that this bill will not close abortion clinics. They claim that the bill is good for women and all who care about the safety and health of women should be in favor of this bill.

So who is right? Why the discrepancy in perspective on this bill?  What does the bill actually SAY?

You can read the complete text of Senate Bill 5 (the one that caused all the ruckus this past Tuesday) here. Remember the bill will get a new number in the new session and there is always the chance of language being changed, edited, amended, etc. during committee hearings. For simplicity sake I will refer to the bill as SB5

My son, Zachary,
born at 22 weeks.

SB5 is intended, first of all, the protect unborn children who are 20 weeks post-fertilization. At this point in pregnancy, medical evidence has shown, a baby can feel pain and therefore is in extreme pain when killed during an abortion procedure. So that's the first part.

While this isn't entirely what the pro-life side would like to see, it is a step in the right direction. A small step.

The second part of SB5 is the requirements for physicians who perform abortions. This is the aspect of the bill, I believe, that is raising the alarm for the pro-choice side. But why?

SECTION 2.  Subchapter A, Chapter 171, Health and Safety Code, is amended by adding Section 171.0031 to read as follows:

Sec. 171.0031.  REQUIREMENTS OF PHYSICIAN; OFFENSE.  (a)  A physician performing or inducing an abortion:

(1)  must, on the date the abortion is performed, have active admitting privileges at a hospital that:

(A)  is located not further than 30 miles from the location at which the abortion is performed or induced; and

(B)  provides obstetrical or gynecological health care services; and

(2)  shall provide the pregnant woman with:

(A)  a telephone number by which the pregnant woman may reach the physician, or other health care personnel employed by the physician or by the facility at which the abortion was performed with access to the woman's relevant medical records, 24 hours a day to request assistance for any complications that arise from the performance of the abortion or ask health-related questions regarding the abortion; and

(B)  the name and telephone number of the nearest hospital to the home of the pregnant woman at which an emergency arising from the abortion would be treated.

(b)  A physician who violates Subsection (a) commits an offense.  An offense under this section is a Class A misdemeanor punishable by a fine only, not to exceed $4,000. (Senate Bill 5, 2013)

So basically, the physician must be able to go to a local hospital with the patient having the abortion if an emergency arises. This helps doctors at the hospital to better understand the situation (because the abortionist is right there) so they know how to help the woman in distress. The way things are now, if faced with an emergency, the woman goes to a hospital and the doctors have to guess at what may have happened in order to properly treat her. I don't think it is an unreasonable requirement for abortionists. It's a safety measure for the patients.

Secondly the above part of SB5 asks that physicians performing abortions provide a phone number and/or other contact information to the patient in the event that she experiences complications after she has left the facility. Again, I think this is a very reasonable stipulation.

Section 171.063 of the bill reiterates some of the above quoted passage. It also stipulates that the person performing the abortion, dispensing or selling drugs for an abortion, and so forth, be a physician. This is a medical procedure. I don't know about you, but I don't want to undergo any sort of medical procedure without being under the care of a properly licensed, medical physician. Why should abortion be any different?

To quote further from section 171.063:

(d)  The physician who gives, sells, dispenses, administers, provides, or prescribes the abortion-inducing drug, or the physician's agent, must schedule a follow-up visit for the woman to occur not more than 14 days after the administration or use of the drug.  At the follow-up visit, the physician must:

(1)  confirm that the pregnancy is completely terminated; and

(2)  assess the degree of bleeding.

(e)  The physician who gives, sells, dispenses, administers, provides, or prescribes the abortion-inducing drug, or the physician's agent, shall make a reasonable effort to ensure that the woman returns for the scheduled follow-up visit under Subsection (d).  The physician or the physician's agent shall document a brief description of any effort made to comply with this subsection, including the date, time, and name of the person making the effort, in the woman's medical record.

(f)  If a physician gives, sells, dispenses, administers, provides, or prescribes an abortion-inducing drug to a pregnant woman for the purpose of inducing an abortion as authorized by this section and the physician knows that the woman experiences a serious adverse event, as defined by the MedWatch Reporting System, during or after the administration or use of the drug, the physician shall report the event to the United States Food and Drug Administration through the MedWatch Reporting System not later than the third day after the date the physician learns that the event occurred. (Senate Bill 5, 2013)

Basically a follow-up visit is required and any adverse effects must be reported (as is true with any medical procedure). Again, why is this a problem?

One myth I've seen is that all these requirements will cause abortion clinics to close immediately. This is not true.  Under Section 171.064, Section 4:

(a)  The rules must contain minimum standards to protect the health and safety of a patient of an abortion facility and must contain provisions requiring compliance with the requirements of Subchapter B, Chapter 171.  On and after September 1, 2014, the minimum standards for an abortion facility must be equivalent to the minimum standards adopted under Section 243.010 for ambulatory surgical centers. (Senate Bill 5, 2013)

Abortion clinics are being given a little more than year to come into full compliance with this law. If the bill passes this July, we're looking at about 14 months before these clinics need to be in full compliance by September 1, 2014. Will these provisions close some abortion clinics? Probably yes. Will it close all? Most likely not. Personally, if abortion is going to be available to women, it needs to be as safe as possible for women. These requirements put the regulations of abortion clinics in lines with the "minimum standards adopted ... for ambulatory surgical centers."

Just as with any medical procedure and any medical center, abortion clinics need to be held to the same standards. Otherwise, patient health is put at risk. As pro-choice people, don't you want women to be safe and in the best medical situation possible? That is the real point of this bill.

I will admit, that as a pro-life person I would like to see Roe v. Wade overturned and abortion made illegal in this country. This bill is far from perfect from a pro-life perspective, but it is a step in at least making abortion safer for the women who feel like it is their only option.

Wrapping Up
As a Kentuckian, why am I bothering to get into the details of this bill?? This bill could have a massive effect all across the country. If Texas passes this (and they are expected to) then we can see other states following suit. But they can only be successful if the bill is completely understood. This bill is about making abortion safer for women, not about prohibiting abortion out right.

In a world where "agreeing to disagree" is all the rage, certainly those on both the pro-choice side and the pro-life side of the abortion debate can agree that making abortion conditions safe for women is important. We may disagree on the necessity of abortion or whether or not it should be legal or illegal, but I see no reason why we can't agree that as long as it is available, women should be safe and not have to fear for their lives when they enter an abortion clinic.

For more about this topic and to see how you can get involved in supporting women in Texas, I recommend the post "Protect Babies and Women - Stand with Texas" by Designs by Birgit. She summarizes the bill and the reasoning behind it very succinctly and provides many ways to help and show your support.

I hope that pro-choice women can join with us in passage of this bill, recognizing that this is a way to provide safe conditions in line with all other medical facilities in the state of Texas for the women of Texas. Because women deserve to be cared for in the best possible way.

Note: I apologize if there is any weird formatting in the quoted texts. It was a long process trying to copy and paste from a legislative document, into a separate document, and reformat it to get proper display on this page. Thank you for understanding.

7 Quick Takes Friday, no. 51

~1~

I have never been to the March for Life. We were supposed to go in 2009, but we lost Zachary just a few weeks before and it was not a good time to go on that kind of a trip. One day I hope to make it there.

~2~

I was able to listen to part of the opening Mass at the Basilica in DC. Mainly I was interested in the homily, since listening via radio to a 45 minute procession isn't that interesting. Well, the music was good. One thing struck me in particular as Archbishop O'Malley was speaking:

A society that allows parents to kill their children will allow children to kill their parents.

This is a scary thought. Abortion leads eventually to greater acceptance of euthanasia. This is our future.

~3~

Hearing the Archbishop say this reminded me of this quote of Blessed John Paul II from 1996:

A nation that kills its children has no future.

~4~

If you are interested in following the March fro Life live, Catholic Sistas has some of our writers there. They will be tweeting form the event and using the hashtag #SistasMFL13. Search for it on Twitter to get live updates. We're trying to spread the word too so others will use it too. You can use it even to ask questions and maybe someone who is there can answer for you. I'm not a frequent user of Twitter, but I do find that to be a cool feature of Twitter. 

~5~

The Archbishop also mentioned something else in his homily that caught my attention: for every one child that is adopted there are 100 abortions. That just stuns me. Wow! I knew that the increase in abortion in this country had an effect on adoption placements, but hearing that number really puts it into perspective. 

~6~

This needs no words:

~7~

On Friday afternoon I'll be a guest on the Mike Allen Show once again. The show is on at 5pm eastern, I'll be on at 5:30 with Mike. You can listen in by going to the Real Life Radio page and clicking on the "Listen Live" button.

For more Quick Takes, head on over to Jen's blog Conversion Diary.

Why I am Pro-Life: Reason #3

This is part 3 of a series of four parts on why I am Pro-Life. I have not always been pro-life and I hope my witness can be of interest to others who are on the fence, do not have a strong opinion, or feel that there are some cases in which abortion should be allowed. I hope this series can be of help for anyone questioning the pro-choice agenda. If you have not yet read the previous parts of this series you may want to refer to part one and part two.

In part two of this series I spoke about the passion of pro-lifers and how that caught my attention as a lackadaisical pro-choicer. I also alluded to the actions these people took in an effort to combat the injustices they saw in our society. This goes hand-in-hand with this next post.

Reason #3 why I am pro-life: I saw passion put into action, not just talk.

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Lots of people talk about lots of things lots of the time. And then they keep talking and after a while you stop listening. If you are trying to convince someone of your side of an argument, idea, or topic, talking about it incessantly to him or her will not get the desired results. People stop listening.

But when we act out our belief system in a way that makes a statement ... wow. That can speak volumes!

I had listened and I had witnessed the passion. If that had been it I might still be on the fence. But that wasn't it. I was suddenly more aware of the actions of people who believed in this cause:

• I saw the pro-life booth set up along side booths selling food, selling crafts, promoting politicians, etc.  on Main Street during a downtown event.
• I became aware of the people who prayed outside the abortion clinic in my town and was amazed that people did that.
• I found out that there were pregnancy helps centers who were eager for donations and people I knew were volunteering with them, collection donations, donating needed items and money, and so much more.
• I learned about Priests for Life and other organizations which I had never known existed before.
• I also met lots of families who had adopted or wanted to adopt; some in real life, some through their stories shared in blog posts, articles, and other media. 
• And I learned about the March for Life in DC and the many other marches and events held around the country all near the anniversary of Roe v Wade. 

Many of these actions were contrary to what I had been led to believe from the pro-choice movement. The pro-choice movement likes to throw it in the face of the pro-life movement that they only want to save the baby but have no interest in helping the mother. And yet there are pregnancy help centers all over the place. Pro-choicers like to point fingers and say things like, "Are you going to take this baby?" as if pro-lifers have no interest in the child. And yet I knew tons of people who had adopted babies, who wanted to adopt, or were willing to adopt. I saw people actually doing something. This was very much unlike anything I expected to find.

Let's also look at the March for Life. Once I learned about this amazing event and saw the numbers of people nation-wide who participated I was stunned. And that is probably an understatement. Now, I will admit that I am not an avid news reader, but I like to think that I pay attention enough to get the big stories and know what is going on in the world. Back when I was moving away from the pro-choice mentality and into the pro-life mentality I was single and living alone and would often watch the news in the morning before work. But I had never heard of this March for Life before. Not once.

So when I finally did hear about it I was shocked to see how big it was. We're not talking about a small march of about a 1000 people from the region around DC, we're talking hundreds of thousands from across the whole country! Amazing!! And the best quote I've ever seen about the demographics of the March for Life came from NARAL Pro-Choice America President Nancy Keenan who was in DC for the 37th Annual March for Life (2010) and commented on what she saw afterwards:

"I just thought, my gosh, they are so young," Keenan recalled. "There are so many of them and they are so young." [source: sba-list.org]

The March for Life estimated it had about 400,000 activists participate in the March for Life that year.

For me, witnessing that the pro-life movement was not just talk but was full of people who were activists on many levels had a huge impact on me. I recognized a real love for the human person (the unborn babies, the mothers, the fathers) that I had not witnessed in other circles. The pro-choice movement put all its care into the woman (they wouldn't call her a mother) and no one else. Many of them did care, but didn't look at the big pictures. That was me, too. Hearts are in the right place, but are clouded over by terminology that prevents one from seeing the full picture.

I would say at this point in my life I was more willing to take on the label of Pro-life than I had ever been before. The clouds were lifting, the scales were falling from my eyes, and I began to see the baby as a person. I still had questions and was still unclear on the difficult circumstances, but I was willing to take the leap of faith and declare that I stood with the pro-life movement.

I think one more post is in order to kind of tie this series up. So stay tuned for more. (Hopefully it won't take me as long to get it out as this one did.)

Letter to my Children Regarding their Future

Dear Peter and Ethan,

Source: morgueFile

A couple of days ago your father and I began to teach you both about the awesome privilege we have in this great country of ours to vote for our leaders. We bundled you up, strapped you into your stroller, and walked across the park to cast our vote for several of our leaders. You won't remember this experience, but one day you'll appreciate that we wanted to take you along for this very important event.

It's my belief that this election was one of the most important elections I have ever voted in. In many ways I was voting for your future and the future of all those to come after you. You see, this country has started to lose its way. It's a sad realization and, as your mother, it scares me for what is in store for your future.

One day we'll teach you about the sacredness of human life. As a child you'll grasp this concept and understand it better than many adults. Most children know instinctively that a baby in the womb is a human baby and deserves protection and love, not death. Children are often wiser than adults. Today, in 2012, we have many leaders who don't value the life of unborn children. It is incomprehensible. You'll probably ask me about it one day in your innocent, childlike way and I'll be lost for words to explain it. For there's no way to explain how so many people, who should know better, can think it's okay to commit murder in the womb.

In this week's election our great country re-elected a man who has no qualms about promoting the  killing of unborn children in the womb. Not only that, he believes that federal money should be used to accomplish the goal of making this so-called "service" available to all women. And to top it off, he also thinks this "service" should be available at all hospitals and 100% covered by all insurance companies, including those hospitals and insurance companies founded on Catholic moral principles.

What I want you, my children, to understand is that I love our country. America is a great place to be and we are blessed to have been born here. Billions of people around the world will never know the blessings we have. I want you to grow up to love your country and fight hard to keep her a land of blessings for many. But I also want you to learn that no matter what, you are a Catholic first.

You are a Catholic because we baptized you into the faith. We took a vow to raise you in the Catholic faith and we take that vow seriously. As Catholics our destination is not here on earth, it's the Kingdom of Heaven. We are made to be with Jesus Christ. This means that we may experience suffering and persecution here on earth, even in this country of so many blessings. I fear that the sufferings and persecutions will only increase and that you'll bear the brunt of this more so than I ever will.

As a Catholic it's important for you to understand that you have a right to Freedom of Religion in this country. This means that the government is not supposed to tell you how you can practice your religion. This means that the government is not supposed to tell you that you can't practice your religion. And this means that the government is not supposed to tell you what aspects of your well-formed conscience you need to compromise on. Unfortunately, with the outcome of this election, I fear that the government may be interfering in these matters more and more.

This week's election was a very important one for our nation. Unfortunately this election revealed that this great country is losing its moral fiber. Your father and I and many of our friends will continue to fight for the unborn children that would have been your peers and we'll fight to be able to practice our faith in our daily lives. I don't want you to one day be standing in a country that is falling apart and wonder why we, your parents, didn't do more.

I pray that we'll win our fight and not pass it on to you and future generations. 

May God bless the United States of America.

Source: morgueFile

This post has been linked up at the Catholic Bloggers Network, November round-up.

7 Quick Takes, vol. 49

~1~

When did my babies become toddlers? Seriously, they walk, they climb up stairs, they talk babble a lot, they are starting to use some sign language, they can tell you what sound a fish makes, and they can point to their noses, ears, mouths, heads, and bellies. I'm amazed at the little persons they are becoming. And I love it! As much as I loved them as babies, I really do like seeing the tiny bits of independence starting to develop in them. So cool!!

And I'm going to have to get a video of the fish sounds, there are just no words to describe it.

~2~

And speaking of the boys and their cuteness ... Ethan suddenly has a great love for dogs. He is fascinated with them! I'm not sure where it came from. We do not have a dog. But he will make some sort of sound when you ask him what a dog says. He loves, loves, LOVES a book we have (thanks, Nanny!) called Doggies. Hubby isn't too fond of this book because it has no plot. Plot is important to Hubby, not so much to the almost 17 month old. There is a reason why the subtitle is "a counting and barking book." Just saying.

There is also a toy dog at daycare that Ethan always has with him when I get there in the afternoon. And he always puts it away in the basket before we leave. This boy loves dogs!!

I've already told Hubby that he's handling the "no, we aren't getting a dog" line when this boy is older and desperately wants a dog of his own.

~3~

This past Saturday was our anniversary. We've been married 5 years now! I can't believe it's been that long and yet, I also can't believe that it's only been 5 years! We celebrated with dinner on the  KY Dinner Train. It was a lot of fun and the food was really good. My foodie husband even said the food was good and it was worth doing again. And let me tell you, that is not a compliment he gives out readily! If you ever find yourself in that part of KY and you're looking for something nice to do, we'd recommend it.

~4~

I have had a very busy week and thus did not do any blogging. I'm hoping to remedy this situation next week. I like blogging if for no other reason than it gives me a chance to write and think out ideas. That didn't happen this week. But that's life, sometimes we have to let some things go in order to do other things. That was my week this week.

~5~

I just realized too that I still haven't done part 3 of my series on why I am pro-life. Oops! It really has been one of those weeks. If you haven't been following, check out part 1 here and part 2 over here. I promise part 3 will get published before too long. Really.

~6~

Halloween is next week! Already. Where did the time go? I went out earlier this week to find a costume for one of the boys (we had something already for one, just needed the other) and I was amazed at how difficult it was to find costumes. Do people buy their costumes as soon as the calendar hits October? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I did see a Christmas shopping commercial on TV last night and it's not even November yet.

By the way, I was looking for a dog costume. Couldn't find one and didn't want to order something online. But I found something just as cute and the boy is too young to understand ... or care. At this age it's all for the parents anyway. And I'm okay with that.

~7~

Finally, I'd like to wrap up this post with a request for your prayers. I have two friends that could really use some extra prayers right now and for as long as you're willing to pray for them. Both have recently lost their spouse. Both deaths were completely unexpected. Both were way too young and leave behind very young children. One of my friends is now without her husband raising her twin 6 year old children. The other is now without his wife, raising his four boys ages 1-10, and looking for a different job, one that will allow him to be home with his family more than his current job does. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!

Have a nice weekend and go visit Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

Why I am Pro-Life: Reason #2

This is part 2 of a series of as yet to be determined parts on why I am Pro-Life. I have not always been pro-life and I hope my witness can be of interest to others who are on the fence, do not have a strong opinion, or feel that there are some cases in which abortion should be allowed. I hope this series can be of help for anyone questioning the pro-choice agenda. You can read part 1 here.

March for Life 2012, Washington Post

In my last post of this series I said that my former pro-choice position was based on emotional arguments only. It was finally taking the time to actually listen to the pro-life side that started having an effect on how I viewed the issue intellectually. But that was only the very first step. To say that one side is too emotional and the other too intellectual creates a simplicity that does not exist. What I want to talk about here is the emotional aspect of the pro-life side.

Reason #2 why I am pro-life: I witnessed a passion for the issue that I had never seen before.

Demonstrations and rallies and letter campaigns and so much more were things of the past to me. They happened during a time period before I was born. I didn't know anyone who did these kinds of things. There didn't seem to be a reason for doing these things because the rights that had been fought for were now laws on the books. What was left?

I knew plenty of people who were pro-choice, who believed in a woman's right to choose, but none of them had to do anything about it. For my generation, those laws have always been there. I guess there really was no reason to have a passion for it.

But as I started meeting more pro-life people, talking to them, listening to them, asking questions of them, and witnessing their actions, I saw a passion that was infectious. I saw people who went to demonstrations and rallies and wrote letters to the editor. I saw people who spoke up in what they believed in and challenged others who (like me) didn't have a strong conviction. I saw people who could speak intelligently on the issue, make sense, and show a compassion for women that I had not witnessed among the pro-choice crowd.

That kind of passion speaks volumes. And it did for me.

Over 200 THOUSAND people attending a pro-life rally in Washington, D.C. every January on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade? How come I had never heard of that before? I was stunned!

Plus there was so much more. The pro-choice side focused on one thing: abortion. That wasn't true on the pro-life side. This side of the coin focuses on so much more and it all goes hand in hand: euthanasia, the death penalty, and much more. All those issues along with fighting for the rights of children to be born were like different pieces of a puzzle that all fit together to make a whole. It gave more meaning and depth to the pro-life movement.

What impressed me was that no one had to sit me down and try to convince me of their side. Just listening and witnessing the passion for this issue was all I needed to get my wheels spinning and start reconsidering my convictions. Actions really do speak louder than words. And then you find out more:

Norma McCorvey, aka Jane Roe, converted to Catholicism and now fights for the repeal of the law for which she is named.

Dr. Bernard Nathanson, co-founder of NARAL, became pro-life and spent the rest of his life fighting for the rights of the unborn.

These are just two examples of many, many more. I started wondering what convinced these people, people who had a profound impact on current law, to completely change their tunes and fight on with the pro-life movement.

And they had a passion for it. That was obvious. You have to have a passion for it to give up friends and family to fight for something you believe in. Plus, in all my reading of liberal, pro-women magazines and other literature I had never once ran across anyone who converted to the pro-choice side after being well-known, passionate pro-lifers. Why did it always seem to be one way and not the other?

At this point in my journey I was definitely on the road to conversion myself. I could no longer call myself pro-choice, but I was still hesitant to call myself pro-life. I appreciated the passion I saw for the rights of the unborn, but I wasn't ready to attend a rally myself yet. I needed more convincing.

Stay tuned for more in part three of my story.

Why I Am Pro-Life: Reason #1

This is part 1 of a series of as yet to be determined parts on why I am Pro-Life. I have not always been pro-life and I hope my witness can be of interest to others who are on the fence, do not have a strong opinion, or feel that there are some cases in which abortion should be allowed. I hope this series can be of help for anyone questioning the pro-choice agenda.

As I contemplated how exactly to begin this series of posts, I couldn't decide how intentionally forceful I should make the very first post. In the end I decided that going for a big punch wasn't important. What was important was that I start and that I share from the heart. So I encourage you to read this post and to stick around for the others, especially if this one does not speak to you. There will be more.

Why am I Pro-Life? It's a good question because I have not always been a champion for the rights of the unborn. It saddens me to think of who I once was. But at the same time I have had several years of asking questions, studying, and listening to others, years I wouldn't trade for anything. I feel like now my position is much more a part of me than if this was something i had just always accepted without question.

And for those who might be like me ... which is stubborn, by the way ... I encourage you to simply listen.

Reason #1 why I am pro-life: I listened.

It's such a simple thing. And yet we (society in general) really don't know how to listen anymore. We hear lots of things ... but do we really listen?

I held an opinion because it made the most sense to me from an emotional perspective. I honestly didn't put a lot of thought into it. I just knew though that abortion had to be a choice that could not be taken away. The problem was that I had no real reason for believing that other than that it just made sense. Had I been challenged on an intellectual level, I don't know that I would have been able to make a solid case for legal abortion.

Then one day I began volunteering to play with a music group at my church. I was just embarking on my journey back to the Church and thought this would be a good way to do something in the church, meet other people, and learn some about the faith. The problem was that I still wasn't listening. Rehearsals mostly consisted of talk about the music and how the music fit into the liturgy (I learned a lot about the beauty of the Mass from that experience) but every now and again the talk would veer off into something else. You have to understand, this was a small group, about 6-8 of us at any given time. Off topic discussions happen frequently in small groups.

There was one person in the group, who also happened to be a doctor, who was very pro-life. If he got on the topic he could talk your ear off. For a long while I tended to zone out and not listen. I think I knew, probably subconsciously, that if I had really listened to him, he could have easily shattered my perspective.

Thankfully, God doesn't give up. Eventually, I did start to take notice. Certain points started making sense. I found myself listening just a very tiny bit more. I'd go home and search for sources to justify my own position and come up with either nothing substantial or websites to groups that didn't seem to have Church approval (and they didn't, I later discovered).

Listening to this person pushed me to start thinking about this issue on a more intellectual level. The emotional reasons for supporting abortion easily crumble when you have to start putting facts to it. But that is not to say that there is not an emotional side to the pro-life position.

On the contrary, I was surprised that there was much, much more to the pro-life position than I had originally thought. But I will save that for the next post: Reason #2.

Respect Life Month Plans

This October for Respect Life month I would like to do a few reflections on my conversion to becoming pro-life. I don't yet have a plan in mind, but I have some ideas swirling in my head. Before the month is out I hope to publish at least a couple posts on this topic.

I feel it is a perfect time for me to be discussing this. Respect Life Month will end just days before a very important election for our country. The Life issues are incredibly important in this election. Maybe during the next month there will be others who will have some conversion experiences as well.

I don't know what the individual Catholic Sistas ink slingers have planned for their posts over on that wonderful blog, but I am willing to bet there will be some appropriate posts over there for Respect Life Month. So don't forget to check them out too.

In the meantime, I leave you with this image that I saw on Facebook today. It's a lot to think about:

Saturday Smiles, no. 10

Courtesy of
DesignsbyBirgit.blogspot.com

I had one of those realization moments this week that made me aware of God's presence in my life. It was a moment that made me see how the Hand of God has been directing my life without me even know it. And when you have that moment of realization it can be overwhelming. Only someone who loves you as much as God does can have that kind of patience with such a stubborn person.

A friend of mine posted a political cartoon this week on her Facebook page. It was one of those cartoons that is funny if you are pro-life.  If you're not, it was probably a little off-putting. as these things go, a conversation had developed under the picture in which one person was arguing the pro-abortion side of things against my friend and all her (our) other friends. The logic the pro-abortion person was using was so illogical that I couldn't help myself and I stepped in to say something.

By her logic, my children that died before birth never actually existed and were not human. So I had to ask her what my son was if he was not human. I had felt his movements before he died, seen his heartbeat, held him in my arms after his death and birth, counted his fingers and toes, touched is perfect little face, and so on. But he wasn't human according to her logic. It was a ridiculous argument, obviously.

As expected she did not respond to my comment. I really didn't expect her to because otherwise she would have had to admit the fault in her logic. I know how these conversations go, I understand ignoring the points that challenge your logic ... because I used to be on her side.

I read the rest of the conversation, but didn't bother contributing again. I had made my point, been ignored, but maybe had planted a seed. That was enough.

But as I scanned through the conversation and thought about where I used to be and where I am now, I can see God's Hand in my life. I know it was He who sent the right people in my path to challenge my ideas and get me to think differently. He placed me in the right places, at the right times to challenge me as I needed to be challenged. And I'm glad He did. I had a momentary thought about how different my miscarriages and Zachary's stillbirth might have been had I still been "pro-choice" at the time. I'm incredibly grateful that I did not have to experience those losses from that point of view.

I often have these little moments of realization where I see how it is all part of God's plan that I am where I am at this time and in this place. This was one of those moments. It's funny how a simple political cartoon can bring about such introspection.

Thank you, God, for guiding me to the life that I have today. I pray that I will continue to trust in you.

Living Counter-Culturally

From iusenfp.com

I am well aware that my husband and I live counter-culturally. I am not surprised by this when I do pop my head out of the Catholic bubble that I can often get caught up in and view the world around me. We do not live according to the norms accepted by our society today.

And it saddens me that what is considered "normal" is to pump a woman's body up with artificial hormones so that the normal, God-given way her body is supposed to work is suppressed.

And it is this reason that I write this post. The thing is, I am probably writing to people who are also in that same Catholic bubble that I am in. It can be easy to forget that not everyone understands the true freedom that is available when a woman learns how her body works, understands her cycles, and can stop the artificial hormones. So I feel like I'm preaching to the choir. However, on the off-chance that someone does read this who is on the fence or for whom this is new information, I do want to share a little about NFP.

I had serious doubts about Natural Family Planning (NFP) when I first started hearing about it. I was at a point in my life where I was trying to learn more about the Catholic Church to gain a better understanding of many of the teachings with which I did not agree. NFP was one of the hardest to find information about. But the amount of information out there today is amazing! Anyone who is looking for greater understanding today and just going to the internet as I was many years ago will have greater success than I did.

For that I am extremely grateful!

The best thing about NFP, from my perspective, is that I always know where in my cycle I am. And I have some messed up, wacky cycles at times. Believe me, if I can learn NFP and understand my cycles, anyone can! We have used NFP to conceive each and every time we have conceived. And we have used it to avoid during those times, particularly those months immediately following a miscarriage, when I was not physically or emotionally ready to conceive again. I can tell you with certainty that I have conceived on four different occasions and possibly a fifth.

Yes, a fifth. I don't know for certain whether we did or not and I may never know. It could potentially have been an unusually long luteal phase or it could have been a very early miscarriage. If you are unfamiliar with NFP terminology let me explain:

A luteal phase is the period of time between when a woman ovulates and when her next period begins. Regardless of the length of your cycle (which we all know can vary for a variety of purposes, like stress or weight gain/loss, etc.) your luteal phase is consistent within a day or two. Every. Single. Time. If a woman is also taking her basal body temperature (first temp of the morning) this is also the time when the temp rises due to an increase in progesterone and a decrease in estrogen. I have cycles that are occasionally 150 days long, more likely 45-60 or so days long, and sometimes 35-40 days long. No matter how long my cycle is from time of ovulation to my next period is 13-14 days, sometimes 15.

The cycle prior to the cycle in which I conceived our daughter Brigit. I had an 18 day luteal phase. I took a pregnancy test on day 17 that came back negative. [I have never been one for taking tests early.] I was sure I was pregnant, but then I got my period. Was I? Possibly. Possibly not. But because of the knowledge NFP has given me it does make me wonder sometimes.

This is just one example of the knowledge NFP can give someone about their body. There is so much more out there. If the idea of taking artificial hormones into your body bothers you, I urge you to consider something else, particularly NFP. And if you are still determined to remain on the other side of the fence, consider this:

From iusenfp.com

As I mentioned earlier, there are many great places to find information on NFP. I've noticed an increase in the number of these sites just recently. So I want to share them here:

iusenfp.com is a newer site with information on various NFP Methods, a blog, personal stories, lots of cool graphics, and more. They also have a Facebook page and a Twitter feed. I love their graphics!!

www.1flesh.org is also a newer site and one I have only heard about but not looked into until I started writing this post. They also have a blog, informative articles, cool graphics, and more. Looks like they plan on selling gear some day too!

www.livingthesacrament.com is a Catholic NFP Community. I have been following them on Facebook but had not visited their website until today. Looks like they have lots of good information as well as forums, a blog, and lots of great resources. Even if you're not Catholic there could be lots of good info here if you're researching NFP. NFP is not just for Catholics, I hope you know.

There are many different ways to practice NFP and each is based on learning different patterns of your body's natural processes. I use a method called sympto-thermal, as taught be the Couple to Couple League. Other popular methods I am aware of include the Creighton Model and the Marquette Model. There are other methods as well. The groups I linked above all include links to these three methods as well as many others.

And let me just simply add: this is not your grandmother's rhythm method. Don't try to tell me it is.

Finally, this is NFP Awareness Week. The USCCB website has a page set up with all sorts of resources for this week. It is another great place to go for information.

If you're not yet at a place where you are willing to step out and start living counter-culturally that is okay. I encourage you to continue reading, researching, and asking questions. Check out the methods I listed, visit the websites, and maybe even take a class. You're not committing to it just by taking the class, but maybe, just maybe, you might hear something that will make sense and give you the courage to take that next step.

Isn't the health of your body (or your wife's body) worth it? Don't you think God gave us, as women, our bodies to work a certain way? Why should we mess with what He created? Did He not know what He was doing? Do we not trust God in what He gave us as women?

Good questions to ponder. I hope you will.

From iusenfp.org

Video for I have a say

Yesterday the video got posted for our "I have a say" counter-campaign on the Catholic Sistas website.  We got a lot of photos from people across the country.  If you sent one in, thank you!!!  If you don't see your photo in the video, don't worry, we hope to post pictures on the blog that didn't make it in.  We got so many that the person putting the video together was not able to get them all in.  More photos are welcome as well.  We're not above making two videos if we get enough!

Check you the original post explaining how the video came to be on the Catholic Sistas page here.  Video included.

Father John Hollowell of the Diocese of Indianapolis also posted the video on both of his blogs:
http://i--have--a--say.blogspot.com/2012/03/cool-i-have-say-photos-from-across-us.html
and
http://on-this-rock.blogspot.com/2012/03/i-have-say-photos-from-across-us.html

Thanks again to all who sent in photos.  You helped make this video a reality.  Please share the links above and the video with as many friends as you can.

Religious Freedom Being Threatened

The Obama administration recently announced that all employers must pay into insurance policies that cover abortion, contraception, and sterilization procedures.  This includes all Catholic employers.  There is an extremely narrow exception, so narrow that the vast majority of Catholic employers are not exempt.

This smacks in the face of our religious liberties and freedoms.  As Catholics we morally object to contraceptives, sterilization, and abortion.  It entirely goes against our beliefs to support any of these things.  Under this new HHS policy Catholic Churches, Catholic hospitals, Catholic charitable organizations, and other Catholic organizations will be required to pay for these procedures and treatments despite the fact that the Church morally objects to them.

All people of faith should be disturbed by this ruling, Catholic or not.  Even if this particular ruling does not affect you in particular, it is only the beginning.  It only takes one step to get the ball rolling.

So I urge you to sign the petition found on this St. Michael's Society website: Support Cardinal-designate Dolan Sign the Religious Freedom Petition.  After you sign it, share it with your family and friends.

This administration has been working hard to chip away at religious liberty and freedom in our society.  This needs to stop.  The government should not be forcing religious groups into morally objectionable policies.

March for Life

Today is the National March for Life in Washington, DC.  Hundreds of thousands of people will be there to march to the Capital steps to protest the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that made abortion legal in this country throughout all nine months of pregnancy.  May God bless all those who are marching today.  May their witness bring about change in the hearts of politicians and advocates of abortion.

cartoon from Umbert the Unborn 

7 Quick Takes Friday, vol. 33

~1~

The boys are doing really well!  They had a doctor appointment earlier this month, 6 month well visit.  They are both progressing well and are very close together in all their measurements.

Peter, 6.5 months

Peter weighed 15 pounds and 4.8 ounces, 10th percentile for his age.  He is also 26 inches long, which is in the 25th percentile.  Pretty good!  I'm pretty sure his stats at his earlier appointments were all in the 5th-10th percentile ranges.  His head is 43 and a half centimeters, which is in the 50th-75th percentile range. Oh my!!  He definitely gets his head size from my side of the family!

Ethan, 6.5 months

Ethan weighed 15 pounds and 5.2 ounces.  Basically the same, only four tenths of a difference from his brother.  Obviously he's in the same percentile range as Peter.  Length-wise he's 25 and a quarter inches, only 3/4 of an inch smaller and yet that puts him in the 5th percentile.  It's amazing what a difference of less than an inch does.  His head is exactly the same as Peter's.  My boys have big heads.  That does not surprise me in the least.  

~2~

Just before Thanksgiving we bought a mini-van.  When we did we did not trade in Hubby's car.  Instead he decided to sell it himself.  He had some leads that didn't work out so finally he put it up on Craig's List.  Within the first 24 hours we had several inquiries.  He made arrangements with someone to come check out the car last Sunday.  Just before they came over, he went to move the car into the driveway and it wouldn't start!  We've never had an issue with the car.  Never!!  He figured it was the battery and told the person who showed up to look at it that he would replace it and let them know so they could come test drive it later.  I was convinced that they wouldn't be back.  But Hubby replaced the battery that day, the potential buyers came back, test drove it, made an offer, and we made the deal!  Monday Hubby took care of the paperwork and when I got home from work that evening the car was gone.  Yay!!

We were so excited to once again sell something on Craig's List quickly!!  Maybe we should put the house on there!

~3~

Speaking of selling the house, our Christmas decorations are minimal this year.  And since we're also traveling south for Christmas we decided not to put the tree up.  However, we have a faux ficus tree in our bedroom that became a temporary alternate Christmas tree while I was wrapping gifts:

2011's temporary "Christmas" Tree

~4~

The boys got out a lot this week.  The bank and the mall with Dad on Monday and then a few parties, errands, and visits with me the rest of the week.  And I should note here that we are finally getting on a nap schedule!!  So with all the trips we have done this week, I've been trying to be in the car when they are tired since they fall asleep anyway.  It makes it easy.  Wednesday worked great!!  When they started getting tired and were ready for a morning nap, I got them in the car and we headed out to my in-law's.  We got there a little over an hour later with two well-rested babies and just in time for lunch.  They were great for a couple hours, got to eat, and then when afternoon nap time approached we headed back home.  It was perfect!

~5~

I had a girl's night out on Wednesday evening.  It was one of the best ever.  And the reason why??  One word: chocolate!!  We met at a friend's house.  Our meal was small, just a simple salad, some meatballs, and goat cheese and pita bread.  It was all yummy.  Oh, and wine, of course!!  But the main part of our gathering was really dessert: chocolate fondue.  We had marshmallows, fruit, pretzels, angel food cake, and some little cookies.  Our hostess's husband also made some chocolate Oreo truffles for us that were amazing.  Chocolate, wine, and good friends!  Doesn't get much better than that.

~6~

I must take a moment to share something serious.

Last week a friend of a friend decided to abort her 20 week baby after a prenatal test showed the baby had Downs Syndrome.  Many, many, MANY friends prayed all weekend for this mom and her baby.  She originally had an appointment last Friday that was cancelled because she was too far along; she was rescheduled for Monday.  She had offers from friends to pay her medical bills and many offers from people willing to adopt the baby.  Lots of prayers went up over the weekend, no word Monday, more prays from countless people, still no update Tuesday ... we all continued praying that she didn't go through with it.  Wednesday we finally got an update.  It was not good news.  Please pray for this mother: she needs prayers as she is in the hospital now with excessive bleeding.  And continued prayers for her as the emotional impact hits her later.

Today about 90% of babies diagnosed with Downs Syndrome are aborted.  Unfortunately, the tests are not 100% conclusive.  I discovered from friends as we all prayed for this girl that many of them had been given Downs diagnoses for their babies only to have the baby born without Downs.  Downs children can live very joyful, healthy lives and bring lots of joy to those around them.  There is also a very long wait list of parents waiting to adopt Downs Syndrome babies.  Abortion is never the answer, it just ends the life of an innocent child.

Please include this mother (because she is a mother whether she accepts that or not) in your prayers.  And please also pray for the little baby girl who is now in Heaven embraced by our Blessed Mother and surrounded by the Father's love.

~7~

Finally, I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.  I hope you get to spend the holiday with loved ones.  I would like to invite anyone who has not been to church in a while, who has fallen away from their Catholic faith, or who has never attended a Catholic Mass and is interested in Catholicism to come to Mass on Christmas.  The Midnight Mass is wonderful, but if it isn't feasible for you most churches will have several Christmas Eve Masses and will offer at least one or more Masses on Christmas Day.  To find out what Mass times are available at a Catholic Church near you go to www.masstimes.org.  

And if you have been away from the Church for a while, I invite you to give it a try again and make the steps to come back as a regular attendee.  You can find a whole bunch of resources to help you in your journey back home to the Church at www.catholicscomehome.org.

May your celebration of the birth of Our Lord and Savior be a joyful one.  Merry Christmas!

For more Quick Takes, visit Jennifer Fulwiler over at Conversion Diary.