Reflections on Following the Message

About a year ago my church started putting a "Question of the Week" in the bulletin. They titled it "Following the Message: Reflections on the Weekly Gospel." The idea behind it was that it would give families, church committees, small faith sharing groups, and even individuals, a means for starting conversation and/or further reflection on the Gospel passage heard at Mass that Sunday. Sometimes they even provide an alternate question for kids.

I haven't really reflected on the question much at all, but recently decided that I should try to do so and try to post some of my thoughts on the blog. This way others can see the questions, read the Gospel, and comment as well.

Today's Gospel was from the Gospel of Mark 4:35-41. To sum up, it is the passage where Jesus and the disciples cross the sea to the other side, a storm pops up and the disciples are frightened. Jesus is sound asleep, they wake him, he chides them for not having faith, then calms the seas. The questions for reflection are:

When have I felt that my faith was being tested?

And alternately, for kids:
Do I ask Jesus for help when I'm scared?

When I looked at this question, one situation in my life (very recently actually) immediately popped into my mind. I didn't lose my faith, but I do think it was certainly a test of my faith.

In January of this year, I was 22 weeks pregnant when my water broke and my husband and I rushed to the hospital. We had been planning on going anyway, because I had been very uncomfortable (I was having contractions, but didn't know it) and was getting concerned, but we left quite quickly when my water broke. That was a Saturday morning. After a thorough exam the baby was still alive, but I was admitted as a precaution (chance of infection was great, etc., etc.). My husband and I sat in that hospital room waiting anxiously for any test results, waiting for each time my vitals and those of the baby were checked, each time holding our breath until we found that the baby still had a heartbeat. It was a scary situation, but we were pretty optimistic throughout that day.

During that ordeal I remember telling my husband that we had a fighter. Despite having lost the amniotic fluid, that baby was still alive. We prayed that he would continue to keep going, that the sac would heal itself, and that fluid would eventually return. We called our families and asked for prayers. My siblings called me to tell me about all the people they had talked to who were praying for us. It was a tough day, and yet all those prayers made me feel better. Saturday night before going to sleep, we said a rosary together, thinking about our baby the whole time.

Sunday morning my husband went to Church. While he was gone my vitals were checked again and the baby's heartbeat was now gone. The nurse called Chris and he came right back. That was one of the toughest days.

That situation was one where I could have easily lost faith in God. It was a test of the utmost proportions. Someone asked me during that next week if I was ever angry at God after our son died on that Sunday. Honestly I wasn't. I had brief moments when I wondered how something like this could happen, how God could let something like this happen. But the answer is no, I was never angry. Hurt, yes; confused, yes; grief-stricken, absolutely.

The temptation to be angry, or to wonder where God is was great. But although that temptation was there (and that's the test), I didn't surrender to it. I held onto my faith. But I also realize now that I needed the faith of those around me as well. We are not alone in our lives, none of us are. We have family, friends, our church community, and even strangers. All praying for us, whether we know it or not, and all sharing in our trials, our pains, and our heartbreaks.

I think that's one of the beauties of our faith. We aren't going at it alone. After the death of our son this past January when I started learning how many people had been praying for us, I was overwhelmed. We received tons of emails, cards, flowers, a few gifts, and lots of prayers through online message boards, Facebook, and who knows where else. God's goodness was in all those prayers. So even though I don't have my son with me, I have faith, and thus know, that he is with God in heaven, he is with Mary and all the saints, and he is with Christ.

So has my faith ever been tested? Yes, I think it has. And I hope that I passed that test. I feel like my faith is actually stronger now having gone through the pain of losing not only my little Zachary in January, but also a child before that as well. Our faith helps us to understand that our children are now saints, that they are now living with Christ in heaven, and they can be intercessors for us. That too is a blessing!

Feel free to share your own reflections on these questions or try the kids' question out with your children and let me know how the conversation went. I suggest reading the Gospel passage again before starting. Next weekend I'll be out of town, but hopefully will be able to grab a bulletin on Monday to try this again.

Proper Pro-Life Speak

Ever since the unfortunate murder of Dr. Tiller in Kansas, by a very misguided man who obviously doesn't understand what being Pro-LIFE actually means, I have been watching and reading various news stories about this tragedy and about abortion. It has made me start contemplating the terminology that we use, or should be using, in the Pro-Life Movement.

In particular, I think we need to be consistent about what we call the child in the womb. I have heard fetus, the unborn, and once I did hear the term preborn. The term Fetus is used a lot. It seems to be the term of choice for the news casts I watch. My guess is that it seems the most neutral term. But the question here is, is it a good term for us to use as people who stand up for the rights of ALL humans?

I went to Dictionary.com and found this definition:

the young of an animal in the womb or egg, esp. in the later stages of development when the body structures are in the recognizable form of its kind, in humans after the end of the second month of gestation

This is the scientific term. What is interesting to me is that the fetus is in recognizable human form after the second month of gestation, which the definition also calls a "later stage of development." That's at the end of about 8 weeks!! Eight Weeks!! Some women don't even know that they are pregnant before about 8 weeks; there are roughly 32 more weeks to go. Most abortions happen after the 8th week of gestation. But I digress ...

Fetus is definitely an accurate term to use. But does it work well when discussing pro-life issues with someone who is pro-choice? Ask them if a fetus has any rights and they will tell you that it's about the mother's health. Yes, they are avoiding the question (I know, I used to be in this camp), but I think the word fetus is so familiar to everyone that it can be easily forgotten that it is, in fact, a baby.

So how about the term "unborn?" Until recently I thought this was a great term to use. It makes me realize that the "thing" we are talking about is a human that has not yet been born. And that's the idea! But I started reconsidering my thoughts on this recently. What does the prefix "un-" really mean? Well, the prefix "un-" has two meanings:

1. a prefix meaning “not,” freely used as an English formative, giving negative or opposite force in adjectives and their derivative adverbs and nouns (unfair; unfairly; unfairness; unfelt; unseen; unfitting; unformed; unheard-of; un-get-at-able), and less freely used in certain other nouns (unrest; unemployment).
AND
2. a prefix freely used in English to form verbs expressing a reversal of some action or state, or removal, deprivation, release, etc. (unbend; uncork; unfasten; etc.), or to intensify the force of a verb already having such a meaning (unloose).

There is a lot of negativity in this prefix, at least in my mind. So "unborn" is the opposite of born, it is the removal or deprivation of the state of being born. This really doesn't help Pro-Lifers. I keep looking at this word and keep thinking that it doesn't lend itself well to advocating for the birth of a so-called "unwanted" child (no child is unwanted). And the definitions above make me this even less of this term. Again, it's a term we can use and we would be accurate, but does it help our case??

I have been hearing the term preborn used more and more. It's still a pretty infrequently used term, but I think it's one which has the most power behind it. Again, the actual definition of the prefix "pre-" is:

a prefix occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, where it meant “before” (preclude; prevent); applied freely as a prefix, with the meanings “prior to,” “in advance of,” “early,” “beforehand,” “before,” “in front of,” and with other figurative meanings (preschool; prewar; prepay: preoral; prefrontal).

The dictionary actually listed 6 varying definitions, but the one thing they all had in common was the concept of something happening "before." Preborn, therefore, would imply that we are talking about a human that is to be born, thus in the "before birth" state. For me, "preborn" is a much more positive, forward-thinking term, therefore, having a lot more power behind it.

We were all created and became human from the moment of our conception. From that moment we had all our DNA. From that moment we are human. This is scientific fact, not a religious belief. And if we believe that every human being is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, that all human beings deserve to be treated with dignity no matter what their stage of life (young, old, sick, etc.), then we have to realize that the most vulnerable humans are those that are preborn. And those preborn human beings deserve that same right to life that we all have.

To bring this back to where I started, the murder of Dr. Tiller was a horrible tragedy. He too deserved his right to life. No matter what our disagreements, those of us who fight for the rights of the preborn advocate for peaceful dissent keeping within the law. Murder goes against the very foundation of being Pro-Life.

That being said, I hope that this issue is discussed more and everyone can have an open mind to really understand what we are talking about when we talk about abortion. Those preborn babies have as much right to life as all of us. Remember, they are just innocent humans who happen to be in a stage of life "before" birth.

The True Presence in the Catholic Church

This past Sunday was Corpus Christi Sunday, also called the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ. Many Catholic Churches on this past Sunday celebrated by having street processions led by the Eucharist carried in a monstrance and followed by the people usually singing an appropriate song. At my church the street processions happened after the 5:00pm Mass on Sunday evening. We didn't go, but we've been in the past.

The Eucharist is very special in the Catholic Church. For us, it IS the body and blood of Christ. We believe in transubstantiation, meaning that when the priest says the words of consecration it becomes the body and blood at that moment and remains that way, it can't change. Some churches believe in consubstantiation, which is similar but relies on the belief of individuals, so if you believe it's the body of Christ it is, but if you don't, then it isn't. In the Catholic Church, once it is consecrated it is the Body and Blood and whether you believe or not does not change what it is.

So the "Question of the Week" from my church this week was, of course, about the Eucharist. The Question was, "How do I experience intimate communion with the Lord in the Eucharist?" This afternoon the local Catholic radio station discussed this question and I found the conversation very interesting. In particular I was interested in their discussion of those who are not able to participate in our Communion celebration within the Catholic Church.

First, the deacon that was the guest on the show is very involved in an inter-religious group in our city. Once a year, a group of people from another Christian faith attends our Mass (and a group from our Church attends the church service at the other church). The deacon said that he confronts this issue a lot when he has to explain that non-Catholics are not to receive the Eucharist but can go up during communion for a blessing.

Now, for those who don't know, because the Eucharist is the Source and Summit of our faith, only those who are in good standing within the Catholic Church (and thus a member of the Church either through baptism or confirmation, plus there are other requirements) are allowed to receive. The reason being is that by taking the Eucharist we are professing our belief in the Catholic Church. It is not to leave people out. We very much would love to accept all Christians to our communal table. The deacon, when talking about discussing this teaching with our Protestant brothers and sisters, noted that many feel offended by this teaching. This is understandable.

But, he went on to say, he is amazed to see how they respect our teachings, often go up for a blessing, and then later tell him how special they could feel that moment was. The deacon said that many of them seemed to have a much better appreciation for our Eucharistic celebration after being a part of it and all seemed to no longer feel offended by not being able to receive. There is suddenly an amazing understanding for how special this moment is for us and why they can't fully participate. He said it is a beautiful thing to see.

The host on this radio show is a convert to the faith; he was raised in the Baptist church. He said he remembers feeling offended that he could not fully participate in the Eucharistic Celebration in the Catholic Church when he attended with his then girlfriend (now wife). He said he even refused to come forward for a blessing back then. Now however, he sees the beauty in the Catholic Church's teachings on this and understands how special that moment is. He also commented that he is now a Eucharistic minister and he is amazed at how excited people often are to be receiving the body and blood of Christ. He finds it very moving.

For me, I love this teaching! We get to meet Christ every week in the Eucharist, what could be better than that. To actually be able to consume him, you can't get much more intimate than that. I love the passage in the Gospel of John (about the second half of chapter 6) where Jesus gives us this teaching and many of the disciples walk away because they find this teaching so difficult.

The Eucharist is very special to us. And without our priests we wouldn't have the Eucharist. We need our priests, because we need the Eucharist!!

Updating Part Three: Vacation

I haven't been very good at posting lately. I had promised an update on our vacation in May and while I have a few minutes I thought I would do a quick post. And this will be quick.

In May we went to Charlottesville, VA. It was really nice. We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast where we could walk to both downtown and the university quite easily. Our room was called the Sleeping Porch and it literally was a porch. Very nice, but we had a few incidents of flying insects coming in when we left the windows open (no screens).

While we were there, we visited Monticello, saw the Rotunda at UVA, walked around campus, walked through the pedestrian mall, did a wine tasting, hiked up to Humpback Rock just off the Blueridge Parkway, and had lunch at the famous tavern near Monticello whose name I can not currently think of (I should have posted this back when it was all fresh in my mind). Each day we would end up back at the B&B around 4pm for wine and cheese (and other treats) where we could chat with one of the owners, others guests, and review the various menus they had to help us decide where to do dinner.

Check out our pictures here: May 2009 Vacation. The pictures are on my Facebook page, but this link should make them viewable to anyone, whether you are on FB or not.

Next trip on our agenda: Chris' 20 year High School reunion in Little Rock, Ark.

Updating Part Two: The Eucharist

Continuing my updating from my last post, I wanted to share some of the highlights from a talk I went to a little over a week ago.

A little background: last year the Diocese of Lexington began a series called the Bishop's Cathedral Lecture Series. Over the course of four years, they are planning a series of four talks in each year that will address the four pillars of the Church. Last year's lectures were on the Creed and this year the focus is on the sacraments. The next two years will tackle the other two main sections of the Catechism. So, the Second Annual Bishop's Series began with a talk in April by the Bishop on the sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation. In May the talk was on the Eucharist and Fr. Robert Barron from the Archdiocese of Chicago gave this lecture. So now we've covered the three Sacraments of Initiation. Two more lectures are left to cover the other four sacraments: The Sacraments of Healing (Reconciliation and Anointing of the Sick) and the Sacraments of Service (Marriage and Holy Orders).

So with that background, I have to share some of the wonderful stuff I heard when I attended Fr. Barron's lecture on the Eucharist. I found it a very enlightening discussion!! I've been to a lot of talks on the Eucharist, I have read a lot on it, and I very much believe in the concepts of transubstantiation and the Real Presence. And yet, I was completely captivated by this discussion and learned a lot.

So Fr. Barron started out by telling us that he was going to discuss the Eucharist through three means: 1. Meal, 2. Sacrifice, and 3. Real Presence.

In terms of meal, he looked at the concept of "meal" from a cultural perspective from the beginning of Genesis through Jesus' time. The first major meal that had an effect on all of civilization is the fruit in the Garden of Eden. By that one act, Adam and Eve disobeyed God and sin entered the world. When Jesus instituted the Eucharist we were given the opportunity to share in the ultimate sacred meal. Fr. Barron called the scene with Adam and Eve the "meal gone bad." From there we had Israel in the desert receiving manna from heaven to sustain them. Throughout the rest of the Bible, according to Fr. Barron, God is trying to bring us back to the divine banquet. There is no question that food and meals are very important throughout the Bible. Even today we organize practically any gathering around food. Many of Jesus' miracles involve food of one form or another: the wedding at Cana, the multiplication of loaves, gathering in someone's house around food, and the most important of all: Jesus' establishment of the Sacred Meal at the Last Supper.

Second, Fr. Barron discussed Sacrifice. What an amazing sacrifice Jesus made for us!! There is no doubt, all Christians agree that Jesus sacrificed his life for our sins. A truly amazing thing and really quite unique in the history of religions. In no other religion does that religion's god put himself into a position to sacrifice himself for the people of the world. It's a very extraordinary thing!! And the idea of sacrifice is integral to our faith. We as followers of Christ often have to sacrifice things for our faith and beliefs. Jesus even told us that we would sacrifice our lives (and there are many martyred saints). He asked people to sell all their possessions and follow Him. He asked people to leave their family and friends to follow Him. In addition, the Eucharist is an amazing sacrifice. In addition to allowing Himself to be killed on the cross for us, the ultimate sacrifice, He also gave us the Eucharist and told us to do this in remembrance of Him. So we do, in the Catholic Church we do it every day, we celebrate His sacrifice at every Mass.

I apologize if that previous paragraph seems a bit unorganized. Fr. Barron also said that in a world gone wrong sacrifice is necessary to bring about community. He told us that he was talking to his sister one day and she was telling him that many people were starting to leave the Catholic parish he had grown up in. She said many of them were joining a nearby Evangelical church because it felt more friendly and welcoming and not much was asked of them. It was easier. There was a little more to the story, but this part of it was interesting in terms of sacrifice. I have heard many people complain about the hour they have to spend in church on Sundays and they especially complain when mass goes a little long. I am always amazed at that!! Jesus sacrifices his life for our sins and we can't take an hour a week to spend time in Mass thanking him for this sacrifice. We need to be prepared to sacrifice just a little of our time, whether it is an hour or an hour and a half. Is that really a lot to ask?? Somehow I don't think so.

In addition, Fr. Barron discussed the concept of the "Lamb of God," a common title we use to describe Jesus. Lambs were often the animal of choice for sacrifices to God; interesting that this is the title we use to describe Jesus. Also, in terms of the Mass, he emphasized that the Mass is a re-presentation (read those as two words: re and presentation) of what Jesus gave to us. We do it not because God needs it (God doesn't need anything) but because we need it. We need the sacrifice of the Mass.

[By the way, I am currently reading The Lamb's Supper by Scott Hahn. So far it is an amazing book, as most of Hahn's books are. For more on the Mass, why we use the title Lamb, and how the Mass can explain the Book of Revelation, I highly recommend reading this! Hahn always has an amazing perspective as a former Protestant minister now Catholic theologian.]

Finally, we moved to Fr. Barron's third point: the Real Presence. The story he told about his sister mentioning to him that so many people were leaving his home parish included him asking her about the Eucharist. He asked her if these people miss the Real Presence in the Eucharist. She told him that many people probably don't understand what that means. This is so sad. As Catholics we believe (whether you know it or not) that the Real Presence of Jesus is in the Eucharist upon the consecration of it during the Mass. This is the source and summit of our Catholic faith.

So another story: most people have heard of the author Flannery O'Connor, who was a practicing and faithful Catholic. She was also a shy person. She was at a dinner once with Mary McCarthy, a lapsed Catholic. Trying to draw Ms. O'Connor into the conversation she remarked that the Eucharist was a beautiful symbol. O'Connor's famous response was, "If it's only a symbol, then the hell with it." How true!! We don't believe in the Eucharist as just a symbol, it is so much more!! It is the living Christ!!

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is in chapter 6 in the Gospel of John starting around vs. 22 through the end of the chapter. When you read this you notice that many of the disciples following Jesus leave at this teaching. Now, Jesus talked in parables a lot in the Gospels. In this passage he is being literal, and when given the chance to explain himself he doesn't say, well, what I really meant was ... No, he emphasizes his words even more, saying in John 6:53: "unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you." And he goes on repeating himself many, many times. Then the disciples say, this is a hard teaching (vs. 60). Yes, this is hard and is still dividing Christians today. At the end of this chapter in John, many of the disciples leave him because they can not accept this teaching. If Jesus was only speaking in parables, he would have called them back, explained that he was speaking only symbolically. But he doesn't, he lets them go.

For me, this is where the idea of sacrifice and the Real Presence come together. It is also where our faith is most tested. Fr, Barron explained that the scene in John 6 would have been shocking to Jews of Jesus' time, it would have been appalling, actually.

One of the hardest things to understand in this idea that the Real Presence is there in the materials of bread and wine is the teaching of transubstantiation. Fr. Barron explained that the substance changes during the consecration even while the appearance does not. To help explain this further, he said that appearance and reality are often not the same. Take the stars in the sky. When we look into the sky and see the stars, what we are really seeing is how the stars were many hundreds of thousands of years ago. Some of the "stars" we see are no longer there because of how long the light takes to travel from where that star once was to where we are today. Appearances are one thing, reality can often be another.

This was one of the best talks I've been to in the Bishop's series. We went to three of the the four talks during last year's First Annual Series and have been to both of this year's. There are two more left this year and I'm looking forward to hearing more. Fr. Barron was an incredible speaker, he didn't use any notes and was so incredibly knowledgeable. I came away from this talk with an even deeper appreciation for the mystery of the Eucharist.

Updating Part One: Cursillo

Lots has been going on for me lately, all of which I have wanted to post about. But time has made it difficult to do so and so they have all piled up. Now, having just returned from vacation I am going to attempt to post about three recent events over the last two weeks. Up first: my Cursillo Retreat weekend.

Cursillo was at the end of April and beginning of May. It was a women's retreat, although the Cursillo Movement is composed of men and women, the retreats are held separately. The retreat takes three full days, beginning Thursday evening and ending Sunday night. It was a very full weekend!!

I am not going to divulge a lot of information. This is the kind of thing that you really have to experience for yourself. It is a spiritual retreat and each individual will be affected by it in different ways. So it is actually best for me not to say a lot; only, if you are curious I encourage you to pray about it and consider taking the time to experience it for yourself.

I did learn that Cursillo is an active movement in the Catholic Church worldwide as well as in the Anglican community. Protestants also have something similar called "A Walk to Emmaus."

The higlights for me during my Cursillo weekend included, first, an incredibly moving "Way of the Cross" on Thursday night. The prayers read during the 15 stations included meditations in Mary's voice. It was so moving for all of us and there were lots of tears as we moved through the various stations of Christ's path to His crucifixion.

Second, the community that was formed over the three days was amazing. There were 24 of us attending the retreat, and about 10 people on the team, which included two spiritual directors (both priests in the diocese, the only men on the retreat, poor guys!! But they did put up with all us women quite well!). Many of us were strangers, coming from a variety of churches in Lexington, Frankfort, Versailles, Paintsville, and maybe another city or two. But after three days we had formed a bond with each other. It was truly amazing how quickly that bond formed as well.

Finally, I was amazed at how much I learned and how much I grew spiritually. Without really knowing that I needed this, I came away knowing that this was exactly what I had been needing in my life. As I said above, this is an experience, and one that is worth trying. No matter what your relationship is with God, Cursillo can do nothing but make it stronger. And who doesn't want a stronger relationship with God?

One of the things I find most encouraging about Cursillo is the ongoing part of it once the retreat is over. Cursillo teaches you a method and through regular group meetings following the retreat you are encouraged to keep this method working in your life. The group meetings are pretty flexible and there are a number of ways to do them. I have been to one large group meeting following the retreat and it was a great way to renew myself. I haven't yet found a small group to meet with yet, but hope to soon.

So that was my Cursillo weekend. The next Cursillo in the Lexington Diocese will be in October for men (the next women's retreat will be next spring). If you are considering it, pray about it and let God guide you to making this decision.

Storm Heaven with Prayers

I am making every attempt to ask everyone I know to please offer some prayers for a little girl who desperately needs them. If you are able, please help us storm heaven with prayers.

A friend of mine has an eight year old daughter who is in the hospital and very sick. Her name is Meredith and her illness is very sudden and still somewhat unexplainable. At this point there seems to still be more questions than answers. Right now all I am trying to do is ask for prayers for this little girl and her family.

Please ask your favorite saints for their prayers as well. Our Catholic faith has a wonderful teaching that the saints in heaven are there to help intercede for us with God. I was told this weekend that one of my favorite saints, St. Philomena, is one who is very effective for sick children since she herself died young (she was martyred when she was about 14); she's the patron saint of babies, infants, and youth. St. Philomena is also considered to be very close to God and often not denied her requests.

So I will be praying to God as well as asking for the intercessory prayers of our Mother Mary, St. Philomena, and my own children, Casey and Zachary. I hope you will join us with your prayers as well and help us storm heaven with prayers for this little girl.

Save Smith's Josten Library!!

Smith College is considering closing the Werner Josten Performing Arts Library as a cost saving measure. Unfortunately, it seems that the money they would save closing the library would actually be negated by the cost of moving the materials and accomodating music listening needs and theater and dance viewing needs in the main library on campus.

For those who are on Facebook there is a page you can join to get more info or sign a petition to keep the library open. Just go here: Save Smith's Josten Library.

I worked at Josten from 1998-2000 as a graduate assistant. Josten supports the music, theater, and dance programs. Josten has an amazing collection and is recognized as one of the best performing arts libraries at a liberal arts college in the country. The college is planning on moving the collection into the main library. The main library is already overcrowded and part of the collection is in a storage facility. Josten's collection of 114,000 books, 60,000 sound recordings, and 2500 video recordings are going to go where?? And how is the main library going to accomodate listening stations and listening rooms (which Josten can currently accomodate) in this already overcrowded library? Josten also has a rare book room. Josten is used a lot by other members (students and faculty) of the Five College system. Plus it is used by a large part of the Smith College community, not just those majoring or minoring in music, theater, or dance. Lots of students participate in the arts at Smith and take classes in the arts or participate in ensembles and productions, without actually being a member of those departments.

I personally can't even imagine seeing the Josten collection squeezed into the Neilson Library. All those books, CDs, LPs, scores, and videos!! And down in the basement of Josten is a nice collection of orchestral and choral scores and parts that few know about. I remember taking the tunnel under the music building that went through the Josten basement into the theatre/dance area and walking by those locked cases of scores and parts. It's a huge part of the collection, and unlike most academic music libraries, the Josten library takes care of those scores and checks them out to the ensembles that use them. So will the music department take those over or will Neilson have to do it??

Josten is one of my favorite libraries. I have worked in three music or arts libraries and visited several others, and Josten is on the top of my list for a wide variety of reasons. As a graduate of Smith, I have a personal attachment to it. Actually, one of the pictures that is often used in promoting the libraries is one of Josten. It's the same picture that is on the Facebook page. It's taken from the mezzanine level looking down into the reference stacks. I know that picture well, since it looks like it was taken from the same location as the study carrel I had checked out to me for four semesters. As a librarian and a subject-specific librarian, I am very disappointed that a college would put so little value in the needs of specialized subject areas. Listening areas for individual and group study needs of music students are absolutely necessary. Someone suggested putting the sound collection behind the front desk in Neilson. 60,000 recordings?? Give me a break!! And video viewing areas are very important for dance students and theater students. Smith's video collection is mostly dance and theater oriented. You need places for these students to use those materials. And reference work for music, dance and (to some extent) theater is very important and very specialized. Music librarians have the specialized background to assist patrons with their music needs. It can't be done by just anyone!!

There is also a very historic component to the Josten Library. Josten is the only library I've worked in that actively keeps four classification systems going. Only two of them are being added to, but there have never been plans to convert the other two classification schemes, instead all items are left as they are. So the print book collection is in Dewey (older) and Library of Congress. The music score collection is in Cutter (older) and Library of Congress. The Cutter Classification is very unique!! The sound recording collection is in another scheme. I believe the video collection is in LC, but I'm not 100% certain on that one. So the Cutter Classification is truely historic and unique to Josten. Charles Cutter (one of the "big" names we learn in library school) worked at the Northampton public library and developed this classification system. The Public Library (just down the road from the Josten Library) still uses this system (I can't remember to what extent, I wasn't in there a whole lot) but I remember that a good part of the music collection in that library was still in Cutter. There may be a few other libraries in the Boston area that have some Cutter classification, but it is no longer widely used. Josten has kept it up because of the uniqueness. This is unique to the Library world, and should be preserved. I worry that moving the collection to the main library would mean re-classifying that part of Josten's collection into LC to make things "easier" for the main library. It is practical, but would be a great loss.

This whole mess is very disappointing and seems to be a knee-jerk reaction to budget issues rather than a well thought-out response to economic problems. Please consider signing the petition on the Facebook page. For those not on Facebook you can still express your concern by writing directly to Smith College President Carol Christ at cchrist@smith.edu.

Thanks for reading this and I hope you will consider supporting this effort.

Reflection on Holy Week

In early March I wrote some reflections on the Season of Lent and promised to write more in regard to Holy Week later. So, now that we're nearing the end of Holy Week I figured it was time to write that reflection.

So what is Holy Week? This is the last week before Easter, a very holy time that begins with Palm Sunday and ends with the Easter Vigil on Saturday night. So much happens during this last week!

First Palm Sunday. Palm Sunday was this past Sunday and we started Mass outside the church where the bishop blessed our palms and a Gospel reading was read before the procession into the church. The procession reminds us all of the entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. Once we're inside, the Mass starts and proceeds as normal. When we get to the Gospel reading, it is an extended reading of the crucifixion. I've always found this reading interesting and sometimes hard to participate in. This is one of a few times in the Church where the reading is written out for several readers and the congregation gets a part as well. I'm always uncomfortable with the role we get in the congregation as "the crowd." So our part usually consists of saying "Crucify him." It's an uncomfortable role, but I realized this year that it is also a good reminder that God is good. Christ died for us, he died for our sins. So although the people then shouted "crucify him" over and over again, and we today often turn our back on God assuming we know better, God still loves us and forgives us. It may be uncomfortable, but it really is a good reminder of our own sinfulness.

In previous years at the Cathedral we have had a Tenebre Service on Wednesday night of Holy Week. This year they moved it to Sunday night. As a result, we did not attend this year since I have to get up so early on Mondays. I was disappointed that it wasn't on Wednesday night because I always thought it was a great way to introduce the Triduum, which begins on Thursday. Anyway, I did write about the awesomeness of the Tenebre Service two years ago. So if you want to know more, check it out here.

Today is Holy Thursday and with today begins the Triduum. The Triduum is basically three days of prayer that preceed a special feast, in this case Easter, thus we call this three day period the Pascal Triduum. On Holy Thursday the Church holds a Mass to remember the Last Supper. Unfortunately, I am too sick today to attend this Mass, but my husband went tonight. Holy Thursday has so much meaning to it, it's truly an amazing day. During Mass the priest will reinact the washing of the feet. Traditionally twelve men will have there feet washed to represent the twelve apostles. In every Mass we remember the institution of the Eucharist during the Last Supper, but obviously it has much more meaning during this celebration of the Mass. Also, this is the last time we will celebrate the Eucharistic mystery until Easter. The priest will concecrate enough hosts during this Mass to also have available for tomorrow's Good Friday service. Then as the Mass comes to an end, the Eucharist is retired to a side chapel where He remains until midnight. That's also how the Mass ends, if my memory is serving me right. It's a very solemn ending, very moving.

At midnight Christ present in the Eucharist is removed from the Church. It is the only time during the year that Christ is not present in the church. I always find that the church seems kind of empty during that time. It makes the anticipation of Easter even greater. I'm not really sure where they put Christ during that time.

On Good Friday we remember the crucifixion of Christ. Also, it's a day of fast in the church: two small meals, one regular size meal, and no snacks. On Good Friday we have a service (not a Mass) to remember the crucifixion. Why do we not call it a Mass? Well, the Mass revolves around the Eucharist, and since the priest will not be concecrating any hosts, we call it a service. This service usually begins with a procession into the Church with a huge cross (at least in my church). During the service we will also all come to the front of the church to venerate the cross. I can't remember what else happens during the service. I know it's also a very solemn service. But at the same time it's a joyful time. That may sound strange, but that's why we call it Good Friday. Without Good Friday we wouldn't have Easter. Jesus died for our sins and this is the day that we remember that great sacrifice. What a wonderful reminder of the goodness of God!

Holy Saturday, the third day of the Pascal Triduum, is the one and only day in the Church where there is no Mass or service anywhere in the world. The Eucharist is still absent (since Christ had died) and it is not yet Easter (the celebration of the Resurrection). However, once the sun goes down on Holy Saturday, the Church begins the Easter season.

Lent ends and the Easter Season is ushered in with the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday night. After six weeks of Lent, six weeks of sacrifice and extra prayer, we joyfully welcome the six weeks of the Easter Season.

I enjoy Lent. Many people find it a struggle, and at times it certainly can be. But the sacrifices we make are only a small reminder of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. That reminder over the past six weeks makes Easter even sweeter.

New Catholic Carnival

The most recent Catholic Carnival is up, check it out:

Catholic Carnival #218: Notre Dame and so Much More

And if you want to know more about the Catholic Carnival (how to get the weekly list, how to participate, etc.) check out this link: What is the Catholic Carnival?

Enjoy!!

More on Pope's recent comments

One of my Facebook friends posted a link to this very informative news story. It relates to the cartoon in my local paper that I found offensive and was the cause of my writing a letter to the paper (see post below).

Here's the article that further supports the Pope's position:
Harvard Researcher agrees with Pope on condoms in Africa

Happy reading!!

A Letter to the Editor

Tonight I submitted a "Letter to the Editor" to my local paper, the Lexington Herald-Leader. I wrote this because I found the Sunday cartoon insulting to me and all Catholics. Any person of faith should be offended that this is acceptable commentary in our culture.

The cartoon in question is currently on the top of this page: Joel Pett's Cartoon. I don't know if this page changes (I'm guessing it does) but the cartoon shows a woman entering a clinic carrying a box of toe-tags while the Pope tries to stop her. A cemetary is in the background and you can see very sick people in the clinic. Obviously it's a commentary on the Pope's remarks about condom use during his recent trip to Africa. If I can find this cartoon somewhere else at a more permanent URL, I post it in the comments section.

Here is the text of my letter to the paper:

Joel Pett has offended all practicing Catholics with his insulting cartoon of March 23. The cartoon depicts Pope Benedict XVI confronting a woman entering a clinic. It implies that our Holy Father would rather that people die than be allowed to use condoms. This is a horrible depiction of the Catholic Church, an institution that has continuously upheld the culture of life.

For centuries Catholicism has condemned all forms of birth control, whether that is condoms, artificial contraception, or sterilization. This is not a new teaching; it’s as old as the Church, a 2000 year old institution. Yes, HIV/AIDs is a problem in Africa and in many other parts of the world. But throwing condoms at the problem is not going to solve the problem. Education is needed to put a stop to the crime of rape and we need to emphasize that sex is for the institution of marriage only.

As a practicing Catholic, I find Pett’s cartoon insulting to me and all other Catholics. Why does Pett feel free to insult Catholics? Would he have been as insulting to Judaism or Islam? I am betting not. Why is it okay to insult Catholicism and the Pope but not any other major world religion? Oh yes, I forgot, it’s politically incorrect to insult Judaism or Islam, but Catholics and Christians are okay. It’s time that some respect was shown to ALL peoples of faith and an apology is owed for this recent insult.

I only read the Sunday paper, so if you happen to see this in the paper during the week, please let me know. I'm curious to see if they actually print it. I wish I could have said more, but there was a 250 word limit.

However I know that with Pett as the Herald-Leader cartoonist, there will be many more opportunities.

Contraceptives and Breast Health

One of the risks of using oral contraceptives is increased risk of breast cancer. It's been studied and proven several times over the years and yet it isn't widely known about. Very sad! Today I was reading through some posts on a message board I like and someone pointed us to a blog posting on this very subject. It was so good I thought I would share it here. Please go check it out:

Breast Cancer: The Pill's Deadly Legacy

I hope that many people will read this with an open mind and will prayfully consider what the effects of the pill are on our bodies and on our environment.

More commentary on Stem Cells

There is a lot of buzz throughout the blogosphere about the executive order signed yesterday in regard to opening up research on embryonic stem cells. Barb at SFO Mom wrote a short post today, No one is expendable, in which he lists several links to other bloggers' posts on this issue. So go check it out for more information and perspectives.

One of my favorites on her list is the posting from The Curt Jester. He has a nice commentary on the text of the President's speech from yesterday.

Something else I should point out that I didn't mention in my post from yesterday is that embryonic stem cell research has been going on for some time. But that research had to be privately funded. What the President did yesterday was open up this research to public dollars. That means our tax money. This is not the time to be using our tax dollars to fund abortions overseas, to fund embryonic-destructive stem cell research, and to do any number of other ridiculous things that are in the recent stimulus bill.

So even if you don't have any qualms or moral objections about killing embryos in the name of research, you should be concerned that we are going to be using our tax money for it now when adult stem cells have proven again and again to be much more stable and successful than embryonic-destructive research.

For more specifics on the pros and cons, check this unbiased site out: Stem Cell Research Facts.

A Sad Day for Life

Today was a very sad day. Today life became more of a commodity and less something to cherish. Today is the start of millions and millions of more lives lost. Today we as a country took a step backwards in the respect for the dignity of human life.

Many will argue just the opposite. Those that think today was a victory for science will say that we will be saving lives after today's events. Unfortunately, this will not be the case. If a life can be saved, and that is a BIG if, millions of lives will be lost just to save that one.

So exactly what happened today? Today President Obama signed an executive order opening up research on embryonic stem cells. Apparently research on the more successful adult stems cells is not good enough. Research on embryonic stem cells destroys a life already created. It's basic biology: a unique sperm fertilizes a unique egg to create a new, unique set of DNA in an embryo. This embryo is a life and to harvest cells from it destroys it. What do we call it when we destroy a life?? Oh that's right: we call it murder.

I have found many other bloggers commenting on today's events who are much more articulate than I am. For some better perspectives on this I recommend reading these other posts:

Posted last night: You'll be Paying for more Human Destruction on Monday. This posting also lists all the pros and cons of both adult stem cell research and embryonic stem cell research. A very interesting list!!
And today from one of my favorite blogs for analysis of current events from a moral perspective: Did anyone doubt he'd do it?

I also tried to find a decent article on today's new executive order from the mainstream media. Didn't have much luck. I know Fox News was talking about it on TV tonight when I was making dinner, but I couldn't find anything specific on their website. I tried CNN and they had to bring in a whole bunch of other environmental stuff. Only about 25% of the online article even discussed embryonic stem cell research.

So I finally went to Life Site News. Their article, Obama Unleashes Taxpayer Funds for Embryonic-Destructive Research, has excerpts from the President's speech as well as perspectives from opponents, which is hard to find in the mainstream media.

In closing, I am disappointed but not surprised that this has happened. So far our new administration has reversed the Mexico City Policy that will start sending our tax dollars to other countries so they can perform abortions. And now we are going to allow scientists to destroy human life in the name of "research." According to Obama, "our government has forced what I believe is a false choice between sound science and moral values." And yet he calls himself a man of faith. I thought as people of faith we were to live our lives as faithful followers of Christ. So what happened to ethical science?

Science can be done morally and ethically without destroying human life. And we have that ability!! Adult stem cell research has time and again proven much more successful. And we won't be destroying human life in the process, we'll be respecting the dignity of it. That is living a faithful, Christian life.

The Naming Ceremony Experience

While I have a few minutes left of my lunch break, I thought I would just mention how the Naming Ceremony was on Sunday that my husband and I attended.

The purpose of the ceremony was to recognize the children that all those in attendance had lost due to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Abortion. There were probably about 20 people there. When we walked in we got cards on which to write our names and our child's name. At the time I didn't know what they were for, but I took two, one for each of our children, grabbed a program, and we found a seat.

So the first part of this service was similar to the Liturgy of the Word during Mass. One difference was that in place of the First (Old Testament) Reading they read the poem Whispers from Heaven. I was introduced to two versions of this poem shortly after Zachary's death and it makes me cry every time. Following this there was a Psalm and a Second (New Testament) Reading.

One of the deacons gave the homily and he did mention his own experiences of losing a child. Other than that, his homily was a bit all over the place.

Following the homily, they invited anyone who had lost a child to come up and with either the deacons or the priest, we would say a prayer for our children and light a candle. The prayers we said were very nice, entrusting our children into Christ's arms and praying that we will one day see them again in the Kingdom of Heaven. I couldn't get through the part that we had to recite, I kept crying. So I'm so glad Chris was with me. He ended up saying most of the prayer himself. I just knew that I would burst into tears if I tried to talk.

We recived two candles, one each for Casey and Zachary. Also, the cards I had filled out were given to the deacons so they could put my babies' names in the prayers and then the cards were left in a basket. I presume that maybe the cards would be used for praying for us and our children later.

Following the service a few people stood up to tell a bit about there own experiences. Plus everyone was invited to the parish center following the service to talk more and meet others who have had similar experiences. We were not able to stay, Chris was cooking soup and needed to get back.

Overall, it was really a wonderful experience and a very healing time. We had already named our children and have gotten used to refering to them by their names. But for those who might not have done that I'm sure it offered a greater level of healing and comfort to know that they have a child in heaven and can refer to that child by name.

I heard something recently and I honestly can't remember where. But it has stuck with me for a while and I wanted to mention it here. Someone once mentioned that they found immense comfort after the loss of a child when someone (a priest maybe) mentioned that she should stop praying FOR her child and instead pray TO her child. Our children are now saints in heaven. They can pray for us. We only need to ask.

And I like that I can specifically ask Casey and Zachary, my two special saints in heaven.

Naming Ceremony this weekend

The First Annual Naming Ceremony in the Lexington Diocese is happening this weekend. This is a special service for all those who have lost children due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion. I've never been to one and I don't know what this one will entail exactly, but I've heard that they can be very healing for those of us who have lost our children for these reasons.

My husband and I plan to attend and we'll be remembering both of our children, Casey (miscarraige) and Zachary (stillborn). If you or someone you know has lost a child and would like to attend, I highly encourage it. I'm a firm believer in the healing effect naming a lost child can have on a mother and/or father.

Where: St. Elizabeth Ann Seaton Catholic Church, 1730 Summerhill Dr., Lexington
Date: Sunday March 8, 2009
Time: 2:00pm

Random Thoughts on Lent

Lent started last Wednesday. Lent is a time of sacrifice and a time of reflection as we prepare for the crucifixion, death, and resurrection of our Lord. It's a solemn time in the church, and yet I really like this time. There is something very cleansing about it.

We start the season with Ash Wednesday. We go to Mass and we receive ashes on our foreheads. These ashes remind us that we started as dust and we will be dust again. It is a reminder of our mortality. Many Christian faiths do this, not just Catholics. In my opinion, this sign of our mortality is a powerful reminder of how much we need our faith. I was impressed with the numbers of people at Mass that day. I hope all those people who came to Mass just because it was Ash Wednesday and don't plan on coming back again until Easter were touched by something and will consider coming back for Sunday Mass.

Have you ever wondered where the ashes come from? The fireplace in the rectory? A bonfire from a Mardi Gras party the day before? Actually, they come from the palms that were used on Palm Sunday the year before. A few weeks before Ash Wednesday our church (and I'm assuming many, many others) start collecting the palms from everyone and they burn them to be used for ashes. It's very cool, and environmentally friendly!!

During Lent there are some slight changes in the Mass. Some may not even notice them and there may be some I don't know about. But there are two obvious ones. The first is that we don't sing the Gloria during this season. We wait until Easter Sunday, the day Christ rose from the dead. That is a glorious day, so we don't sing the Gloria during the solemn season of Lent and then we pull out all the stops on Easter. Our choir always does a great job on the Gloria on Easter, with brass and percussion to make it even more glorious! The second thing missing during this season is a recessional song. Now, I don't know if this is true in other churches, but it is in ours. Our priests leave the church at the end of mass in silence. I think it's a very powerful reminder of the solemnity of Lent. Unfortunately too many people are picking up their coats, talking to their neighbor, or trying to get out, and it ends up being too noisy! It annoys me, but I try to set an example to those around me by waiting until the recessional is out the door before I move.

Do you know someone who is giving something up for Lent? Ever wondered why they do this? This goes back to this season being a time of sacrifice. Our thoughts are that Jesus gave up his life for our sins, the ultimate sacrifice, so during this time of preparation we also make a sacrifice, and usually that comes in the form of "giving something up." People give up TV or video games; some people give up desserts or chocolate or some other special food; some people try to give up something like worrying or being judgemental. The idea is that you are making a sacrifice for these six weeks and that by missing this "thing" in your life you will be reminded of the sacrifice Jesus made for us, His Life!

Another way to go through Lent is by adding something to your day. I know people who try to go to daily Mass during Lent. Some people add in a daily devotion of some kind: a rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, or some other form or daily prayer. This is a great way to help your spiritual life during this time.

Then there is the days of fast and abstinence! The blessings of Lent are never ending. We fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday and then we abstain from meat all the Fridays of Lent. So our churches host Fish Fries every Friday!! (On a side note: I've noticed for years that all the fast food restaurants start advertising their fish sandwiches at this time of year!) This helps our cleansing throughout this season as well.

A lot happens in the Church during Lent as well. At my Church we will have a Lenten Mission, coming up in a couple weeks. These are done over three nights and some years we have an out-of-town guest speaker, other times it is someone local. This year we have a priest from St. Meinrad Archabby coming to talk about St. Paul. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is also very important during Lent. Actually, it's important all the time, and I for one should probably go more often, but I do make a point of going during this time. We'll be having a Reconciliation Service at some point prior to Easter as well. I've never been to one of those, so I may go this year in addition to going to confession.

The Saturday before Palm Sunday my church will have a Chrism Mass. My church is the Cathedral for the diocese, which is why we host this mass. During this mass representatives from all the diocesan churches will be there as the Bishop blesses all the oils that will be used for the year. These are the oils used during Baptisms, Confirmations, the Sacrament of the Sick, and probably some other things as well. I have been to this mass in the years when I was involved in the music ministry, but haven't been in a while. The next day will be Palm Sunday which starts Holy Week!

I think I'll stop there for now. I'll go into Holy Week more later. Holy Week is another wonderful time with lots going on. So come back to learn more!!

Oh the Irony!

I'm about two weeks behind in posting this, so I apologize for the somewhat old news articles, but that's just the way things have been for me lately. So here we go ...

Every day I check my bloglines account to see what blogs have been updated and check my news and weather feeds. During the last week of January I watched my news feed to see if CNN (the only major news feed I currently subscribe to) would post anything about the March for Life on January 22. On that day I happened to see an article titled: Amid Protests, Obama backs 'right to choose'. This article mentioned briefly that there was a "protest" in D.C. that day of anti-abortion proponents, but focused instead on our new President's support for abortion. Actually, in skimming through the article real quick just now, I don't think the article even calls the "protest" the March for Life. Interesting ...

As a side note: have you ever noticed that CNN and other major media outlets never use the term pro-life. It's always anti-abortion and pro-choice. Why not pro-life? Maybe it's because if they used pro-life they may have to use the opposite term for the opposing side, i.e. anti-life? Or pro-death? I guess that makes the other side too uncomfortable.

So, did you know that about 200,000 people were in D.C. for the March for Life. Maybe more. Okay, it isn't as many as were there for the inauguration just two days earlier, but still ... 200,000 people! That's' a lot! AND there were actually other marches around the country that same day. Not everyone can go to D.C. but we can still stand up for life where we are.

Second news article that caught my attention was the very next day. On Friday, the day after the March for Life, the President reversed the Mexico City Policy. This allows the U.S. to provide funding to clinics in other countries who provide abortions. So now our tax money is helping to provide abortions not only in this country but around the world.

And we're getting ready to borrow around $800 billion in order to help stimulate our economy? Yes, borrow!! Do you really think the U.S. has that kind of money laying around; we've had a national deficit since ... well, almost forever! That's something to think about.

Speaking of the so-called stimulus bill, thank goodness Nancy Pelosi didn't get her money in there for contraception. Did anyone see or read part of her interview with George Stephanopoulos which also happened about the same time that all this other stuff was going on? I don't have a link available on this one (sorry) but I read part of her interview with him where he asks her how contraception will stimulate the economy. Apparently, by pushing more contraception on all of us citizens, we can have less children and thus less money needs to go towards health care for us and for our children and less funding is needed for educating those children, because they won't be here.

I thought Pelosi was Catholic?? Thankfully that aspect of the stimulus bill was eliminated. Let's hope her priest or bishop has a few words with her.

But where is the irony in all this? Well, two things:

First of all in regard to Pelosi's initial contraception proposal. I guess it never occurred to her that in the long run, the children who she is trying to get us not to have will need clothes and food and other essentials. That means parents (consumers) have to purchase those things. As those children get older they will need other things. And yes, they will need health care and their education. But then they will become consumers themselves. It's definitely something to think about.

Second, and the real reason for me writing this, on Monday January 26 (four days after the March for Life and three days after Pres. Obama reversed the "Mexico City Policy") I found this article: Worker's Urged: Go Home and Multiply.

So, in Japan, the birthrate is currently at 1.34, meaning they are not even replacing their population. You need to have at least a 2.0 to replace the population. So some companies are urging their workers to go home and try having more kids. The country needs more children!!

So while many of us here in the U.S. fight to get rid of abortion and a large percentage of the population here is either ambivalent or thinks abortion is a good thing for women, Japan is beginning to see a problem from the lack of children. Do we see the irony?? By the way, do you know what the U.S. birthrate currently is? Well, I don't have the exact figure but it isn't much above the 2.0. Something like 2.3. Oh, and most of Europe is at or below 2.0 as well.

We have people in our government who think that we need contraception to help reduce our population to help save costs, which is kind of ironic in and of itself. And with declining birthrates all over the world, we're losing consumers!! No wonder the economy is failing.

It really is sad how little life is valued in this country. I hope the articles above and my thoughts have given you some food for thought yourselves.

Horrible News Story

Someone I know posted this new story on Facebook and I was so horrified after reading it that I thought it was important to alert others to the horrors of abortion.

Many people I know are also as horrified by the act of abortion as I am. Others may be ambivalent about it. Read this article and see just how brutal a practice this is. Go now and read about the pending lawsuit against an aboriton clinic in Florida:
Florida Clinic Botched Abortion, Threw Out Live Baby.

The baby in this case was 23 weeks along. My baby died after 22 weeks and received a proper funeral and burial. Any child that dies in the womb or after deserves the same, not to be thrown out like a piece of trash.

Please pray for all mothers and all the unborn.

Newsweek article on Stillbirth

A friend of mine posted this article to her Facebook page. It struck me immediately due to my recent experience with stillbirth. The focus in the article is on the organization Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. The group takes photographs for free of parents and their children. The photos provide a wonderful remembrance of the child.

We were fortunate that there are some volunteer photographers from this group in our area and our hospital called one of them to come in when we lost our son. I haven't received the pictures yet, but I am looking forward to seeing my baby again once I do.

I hope no one I know ever has to go through this. It is one of the worst feelings in the world to be anticipating the birth of your child only to lose him too early. But I encourage everyone to read the article and hear the stories of other women who have lost a child. One day I'll be able to write more about my own story, just not ready quite yet.

Here's the link: http://www.newsweek.com/id/182572/page/1

25 Randon Things Redux

This "25 Randon Things About Me" post is circulating over Facebook. I posted this last week on there but decided that my friends not on Facebook might like to see it as well. On FB you also had to tag 25 people who then had to post a list of 25 random things about themselves on there FB page and tag 25 more people. I've already done that so won't be doing it again. If you are reading this and would like to participate, post your 25 things on your blog and then leave a comment here to let me know so I can check it out.

(For those reading this on Facebook who might be confused why I'm posting this again, it's because all my blog posts are automatically posted to FB as well. So unfortunatley this list will be on FB twice.)

1. My favorite person in the world is my husband. I love him so much and the trials in our marriage so far have only stregthened that love.

2. I have two children who are now in heaven. Casey Marie was lost to miscarriage on March 31, 2008. We lost Zachary Thomas at 22 weeks on January 11, 2009. They are now my little saints!

3. I have always wanted to be a writer, but have never written anything I like. I think I have good ideas, but as a former professor once told me, I'm not a wordsmith! I think I need a new medium and am starting to consider the theater.

4. I have performed as a soloist in a concert in Italy!! It was indeed a once-in-a-lifetime experience and will never happen again.

5. I also sang in a choir on the same Italy trip (see above) during a daily mass at the Vatican (no the Pope was not presiding). By the way, I'm a horrible singer and they insisted I sing with them anyway. It was a fantastic experience.

6. I've been out of the country twice in my life: Italy in 2004 and Vancouver, Canada in 2005.

7. My favorite animated Disney movie is Sleeping Beauty! You can't beat any of the classics.

8. I have been involved in theater only three times: performed in Camelot in HS (pit orchestra), worked lights and curtain once for some other small production, and performed in Swing Time Canteen several years ago here in Lexington. Swing Time was fun, I was a musician but we were on stage, so I had to be in "character" still; it was an interesting experience. But despite my small experience, I love attending theater and now know several local actors!

9. I have lived in 6 states: Massachusetts (twice), Maryland, New York, Georgia, South Carolina, and Kentucky.

10. I never expected to be in KY longer than five years and never thought I would be in librarianship as a long-term career. It was only supposed to be a step toward moving on to a PhD program and a career as a musicology professor one day.

11. I do not regret not moving on to my PhD. I like being a librarian, but only as long as I can be a MUSIC librarian.

12. I am pro-life. I've lost two children and I can't fathom how anyone could think that the life of another individual can be considered simply a "choice." Think about it!!

13. I am currently the principle clarinetist in the Central Kentucky Concert Band, though I'm on a temporary hiatus since I have a professional conflict with the next concert, but it's come at a good time.

14. I have difficulty playing music when going through tough times. Like right now. I also can't sing in church, I start crying.

15. I love being Catholic! I love the tradition, the Catechism, the Eucharist, the Mass, the clear apostolic tradition from St. Peter all the way to Benedict XVI, and so much more!

16. My confirmation name is Mary, but at the time I did not pick it for any particular Saint Mary. However, I have found myself feeling a closeness more and more to the Virgin Mary and am starting to consider her my patron saint.

17. My favorite foods are Italian and seafood. Any pasta with a red sauce is awesome. Favorite seafoods are salmon, shrimp, and scallops.

18. I hate cooking. I tell my husband that I married him because he loves to cook.

19. I really, really want to learn to knit. I've taught myself a little, but really need to take a class/lessons.

20. I'm currently off from work recovering from my last pregnancy and stillbirth. I'm scared to death of trying to go back to work and a "normal" life. I'm not sure what my normal life is any more.

21. My favorite artist is Mary Cassatt. I've never been able to name a favorite composer, so don't ask!

22. I love football, especially college: Go cocks! Since getting married I don't watch nearly as much football as I used to. But hey, he does cook!!

23. I am incredibly shy. Many people I have met since moving to KY would disagree, but if you've known me longer than that, this is not a surprise.

24. I love HGTV!! I actually have a secret desire to be a home stager!!

25. I love chocolate and can't believe I waited until #25 to remember to add that in!! My favorite is dark chocolate, especially with mint. York Peppermint patties are my weakness!!

Beyond Today ...

Today in D.C. hundreds of thousands of people are marching down the street in support of life in the womb. Today is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, a decision in 1973 that has resulted in somewhere between 48 and 50 million innocent children being murdered in the womb through no fault of their own. Millions of my generation gone, millions of the following generation (which my two youngest siblings are a part of) also gone. And millions more will be gone in future generations.

But being pro-life is about much more than fighting abortion. I found this post today that really speaks to how critical it is that we recognize the importance of life at all its stages. Check it out here: It Is More Than Abortion ... It Is About Life.

Please pray that life at all its stages from conception until natural death is protected.

The Apostolate of Hannah's Tears: A tiny coffin, but a big witness

Journal of a Nobody: A Remebrance of Zachary

A Remembrance of Zachary

A friend of mine shared her thoughts about our little Zachary's funeral on a Catholic blog that offers support for women dealing with infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, and more. Her testimony to the importance of life was so moving to me as she put it into the context of the funeral we just had, I thought it worth sharing here as well.

Her post can be found on the blog The Apostolate of Hannah's Tear's. The direct link to her post is here: A tiny coffin, but a big witness.

Thanks to everyone who came out to the funeral. The presence of so many people there and all those who wanted to be there says a lot for the importance we all place on the dignity of human life at any stage, born or unborn. Everyone that was there or wanted to be there is a witness to the cause for life. Thank you all very much!!

National Sanctity of Human Life Day

Yesterday (Saturday) was the funeral for my little boy Zachary. He died before he was given the chance to be born. And like any life that ends, he left a hole in our hearts and in our lives. In another post at another time I may talk more about the loss of our son, Zachary Thomas. What I wanted to share with you now is the fact that his life deserved recognition and my husband and I are lucky enough to be part of a community who supports us in recognizing the dignity of all human life. So yesterday morning we celebrated Zachary's life with a funeral and a burial service surrounded by the love of family and friends both near and far.

That brings us to today, Sunday January 18. Only one day after saying goodbye to a life I carried for 22 weeks but never got to know, I learn that today was declared National Sanctity of Human Life Day. The proclamation begins:

All human life is a gift from our Creator that is sacred, unique, and worthy of protection. On National Sanctity of Human Life Day, our country recognizes that each person, including every person waiting to be born, has a special place and purpose in this world. We also underscore our dedication to heeding this message of conscience by speaking up for the weak and voiceless among us.

My husband and I took some time out of our day today to attend a Vigil for Life in downtown Lexington. It was about 33 degrees and snowing the whole time we stood together outside the courthouse listening to people speak about the importance of protecting life from conception until natural death. It was cold, but it was uplifting. The work being done in our community and around the country in support of life is amazing. We prayed together, standing out in the elements, for our new administration that they too will recognize the dignity of all human life and will put an end to abortion in this country.

For me, it was difficult at times to stand there and listen to the speakers and pray for an end to abortion after just having lost my son. It occurred to me several times during that hour that many people have aborted babies who were as far along as I was with Zachary and definitely abortions have taken place at or later than when I lost Casey back in March of 2008. It saddens me to no end to think of all the children that have been lost all in the misguided notion of "choice." I didn't have a choice in my losses, I have to bear the unthinkable while others tell women in crisis pregnancies that it is only a blob of tissue they are carrying. I held my baby boy and I can testify to the fact that he was indeed a baby.

The emcee for today's event (an adoptive parent himself) said towards the end of the event that what we need is more education. We need to speak out for all those unborn children who can't speak for themselves. We need to affirm our country's promise made in the Declaration of Independence that all have the right to LIFE, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. So through my blog, I hope that I can reach others and that my words here will educate those who read them in a better understanding of what life really is.

Thanks to all those who offered their support to my husband and I over this past, very difficult week. Thanks to all those who continue the pro-life work and who support others in pro-life ministry. Thanks to all who will be attending the March for Life in Washington, D.C. this coming Thursday (wish we could be there with you). And thanks to President Bush for declaring today National Sanctity of Human Life Day.

Blogging just to blog

I noticed that I haven't written anything on here since December 2, just over a month ago!! There is so much I could say, but that could turn into a jumble of ramblings. There are things happening with us that I could report on, but again, I feel that I'd just be everywhere. So instead, I thought I'd simply share some of the "life" we are experiencing right now.

But first I do have to share: Christmas here was good and I had a nice long vacation. We wrapped up the Christmas season with an Epiphany party this past weekend. Although technically the Christmas Season doesn't end until this coming Sunday we have now taken most of the decorations down. We left our nativity set up for the duration though, since the Wise Men only just arrived this past weekend. Didn't seem fair to take it down as soon as they got there.

Okay, so I had to put in a little of what we've been up to the past month. Moving on ...

I found out today that we are confirmed for the trip to Washington, D.C. in two weeks. We'll be driving up with another couple, following behind a van carrying about 8 others. There is also a bus going, but they are leaving at 9:30pm on January 20. The van and us will be leaving at 5am on the 21st. So we'll drive during the day and get to D.C. by that afternoon or so. Hopefully not too late! This trip should be very exciting and I'll definitely make a point of blogging about it when I get back. The basic itinerary will be a Mass at the National Basilica on Wednesday night (the same day we get there). I hear this is an awesome thing to be at with a procession that lasts about 30 minutes because of all the cardinals, bishops, priests, and deacons in attendance. Should be very exciting. Then Thursday is the actual March for Life in the morning. I believe we are leaving to drive back to Lexington following the March. So for those friends in D.C. or in the area, I probably won't get a chance to visit with you. That is unless you come out for the March and help the hundreds of thousands of people there support Life!!

What actually happens at the March, I don't know, I've never been. I have seen pictures and some video clips people posted on You Tube and other video sites (I can't think of the Catholic one at the moment). I know there will be speakers and there is the march itself and who knows what else. It should be an exciting time!!

So that's our trip to D.C., in just a couple of weeks!! Can't wait. Oh, and to get us ready for it, there is a Vigil for Life here in Lexington on Sunday January 18. For anyone in the area who can make it, it's from 2-3pm that day at the new Courthouse downtown. There are a few speakers, Leo Brown is emcee, and they suggest bringing chairs and/or blankets with you.

And speaking of life, the life I am carrying seems to be doing well. In December we had our "big" ultrasound. It was so much fun watching them measure the head and look at the heart, and measure all the limbs and see the face. We got several pictures from the experience (posted on our picassa page and my FB page). And no, we did NOT find out the gender. Didn't plan to and didn't want to. We are looking forward to the surprise in May!! But everything is normal and looks good, that's all we were hoping for. I got to hear the heartbeat again at my appointment at the end of the month and it was nice and strong.

It seems that the last several days I might have started experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions. Some of them seem quite strong, but now that I'm home from work and watching the clock I am realizing that they aren't lasting very long (10-20 seconds) and they are definitely irregular, sometimes 20 minutes apart, other times over an hour. So I did talk to the nurse today who works with my doctor and she recommended rest and possibly a visit to triage if I don't start feeling better in another day or so, mostly given my history (oen miscarriage and some bleeding earlier in this pregnancy). But overall, we think things are fine and this is probably nothing to worry about.

So if you think about it, please say a prayer for me and for baby. I wish I could feel the baby move around to know things are fine, but I still haven't felt him or her, so at the moment I am trusting that all is well; that's why we have faith, right? Next scheduled appointment isn't until Feb. 2, so please pray that I don't have to move it up for any reason!!

Thanks for all your prayers!! We'll be thinking about life in so many ways over this next month. Please pray for all those attending the March for Life, for all those women contemplating abortion, that they will choose life, for the unborn who have lost their lives in the name of "choice," and for me and the many, many others who are expecting, that the lives we carry will be kept safe and be born healthy!!

St. Gerard, pray for us! St. Philomena, pray for us! St. Anne, pray for us! Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of all, pray for us!!

Shame, shame shame!!

Just came across this editorial in the Washington Times. Well worth the read, check it out here: Editorial: Shame on Planned Parenthood.

My thoughts:
If women are having to make difficult choices between putting food on the table and gas in the car versus getting the health care they need, they should be checking out state supported Medicare programs. There are lots of options for health care out there, Planned Parenthood is not the answer.

PP has an agenda, enough said.

The "gift of death"? Absolutely, see above comment.

I love this sentence:

More importantly, contraception and abortion are not forms of "health care": They are lifestyle choices with life-altering consequences.

Amen!! Life-altering consequences for both the mother seeking the abortion AND the child who is unwillingly losing their life.

And finally, I agree with the statements at the end of the editorial. Support life centers!! Support those centers who have no agenda!! There are many, many options for women who are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. There may be unplanned pregnancies but there are NEVER any unwanted children. All children are precious gifts from God.

There are many life centers or pregnancies help centers who need support. The end of the year is coming soon and many of us are donating money to charities at this time of year. There are many pregnancy help centers who offer non-biased counseling and support for women during and after their pregnancies. One such organization that I have supported is Birthright. There are also homes for women who can have support during their pregnancies, help finding jobs, continuing their education, learning how to budget finances, and so much more, all to help prepare them for the birth of their child and success in their lives. One such home is up the road from me in Louisville, KY and I know many more exist.

I'll be helping to support a local pregnancy center this Christmas when I attend a UK Student's for Life Christmas gathering next week. We'll be gathering donations of baby shampoo, diapers, bottles, and other baby needs for a mother in need who sought help from this local pregnancy center.

Find out what you can do too. It is the season of giving afterall!!

Quick (?) Update

It's been a while since I posted something personal on this blog. So I thought it was a good idea to at least try a quick update. Hopefully, I can keep it quick or brief.

So, as you may have figured out by now, if you follow my Facebook page or have looked at the top of the blog lately, yes, I am expecting!! I am now 16 weeks along and all seems to be going really well. Had an appointment today and the heartbeat was steady and strong at about 138-140 bpm. We're very excited! The due date is May 15. Oh, and we'll be having our BIG ultrasound December 16. Can't wait, but don'e ask about the gender, we're not finding out!

Chris and I went to Atlanta to visit my family for Thanksgiving. We had a good time spending time with everyone. Thanksgiving Day was really nice with lots of good food and good company. On Friday we visited the Georgia Aquarium with my sister and her family which was a lot of fun. My little niece had a great time seeing the fishes. I also got many of my sister's maternity clothes while I was home, so it was a great trip overall.

In other pregnancy news, there will be FOUR new babies in Chris' family next year. I have three sisters-in law also due in 2009. So we'll have three more nieces or nephews by the end of July next year. Due dates are May 4 (SIL in Bardstown), May 15 (me), July 4 (SIL in Bardstown), and July 12 (SIL in Birmingham). So next summer will be a busy one in our family.

We're starting into the daycare investigation at the moment. I visited two childcare facilities just before Thanskgiving. It's an interesting process. I have at least one more to visit that I've already talked to on the phone. I also have a list of 4-5 other places to still call and visit. So far, I feel lucky that wait lists are either short or nonexistant!

Work is going fine. Nothing major to report there, busy as always.

Coming up for me:

1. Another band concert in a few weeks. I can't wait for this concert to be over with! It's basically an all Wagner concert. You just got to love orchestral transcriptions for clarinet (i.e. lots of violin work and no breaks!). I don't want to see any more Wagner for a very long time!


2. It looks like Chris and I will be traveling to Washington, D.C. near the end of January for the annual March for Life. We'll traveling via bus with a group from the Lexington Diocese. It'll be fun to meet other people in the diocese and to be in D.C. for this awesome event.


3. Sometime in here I'll have to register for baby stuff. I'll squeeze that in somewhere!!


4. My last trip probably for a while will be in February when I head to Chicago for the Music OCLC Users Group and Music Library Association conferences. Hopefully by then I'll look pregnant and not just like I need to lose weight!

On a more simple, smaller scale: I'm hoping to learn to knit sometime soon. I never seem to have time and by the time I finish what I want to do each night it's already 11 or later and no time to do any knitting! Writing has also been on my mind lately. I hear that pregnancy can inspire more creativity in some women, so I'm tempted to try out a few ideas that I've been thinking of lately. It's been a very long time since I did any writing. Lastly, I need to make a Christmas list for my family gift exchange this year. So far I have one item (a book) on the list. I need five ... by Friday! Any suggestions are welcome!

That's the report for now. Hope everyone is doing well!!

Catholic Carnival 200!!

I'm a little late in posting this, but if you get a chance , go check out the latest version of the Catholic Carnival here.

It's number 200!! That means the Carnival has been going every week for 200 weeks! I always learn something new or find something very thought-provoking in reading the various posts in the Carnival. So go check it out, it's well worth the time.

Sign the United Nations Petition

I heard a radio spot today that I had to find out more about and once I did I knew I had to share it with whoever I could. Thus, the reason for this post.

On December 10, 2008, pro-abortion organizations will be presenting a petition to the United Nations to make abortion a universally recognized human right. This is something that would be devastating to generations of children!! This can not happen.

So the Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute has set up an alternate petition. 100,000 signatures are required for this alternate petition to be submitted. This has to happen before December 10, 2008!! Please go to the following site, read the petition and click on the link to sign the petition, then encourage others you know to do the same.

www.humanrightsforunborn.com

Also, on the website you can listen to the radio spot to learn a bit more. December 10 is the 60th Anniversary of the United Nations Declaration on Human Rights. Let's not let this Declaration be reversed!!

In the words of the late Pope John Paul II: "A nation that aborts its own children is a nation without hope. Those who love and want to defend life must act not."

Life is a fundamental human right! Without life we would have no need to worry about the economy, the environment, taxes, or anything else. Please give all persons the right to life by signing this petition. As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States, say a prayer of thanks for the life you've been given and for the lives that all need to be saved.

Birthright's "Bid and Buy"

Saturday night we attended a fundraiser for Birthright of Lexington. Birthright is a national organization dedicated to helping women who find themselves in crisis pregnancies. I had visited their office back in August to bring them a donation of items to help them out. At the time they were in need of baby toiletries, so I bought about $100 worth of baby lotion, diaper rash ointment, wipes, diapers, baby shampoo, and more. It was so great to go by their office and meet the director and get a chance to find out more about what Birthright does. It is such a wonderful organization!! At that visit is also when I learned about the annual baby shower they hold for their clients, and about the Bid and Buy fundraiser every November.

So Chris and I decided that we would attend in support of their cause. So the event was Saturday night and what a great time we had!!

It was held downtown at the convention center. The dinner was very good and the auctions they had were various and numerous. We ended up bidding on a couple items and winning one. So that was fun!

More importantly was the number of people there. I saw many people I knew or recognized from around town or my church. There were about 4-5 Catholic priests in attendance, including one from my parish. It was really an amazing amount of people: roughly 49 tables of 10 people each, so about 490 people or so were there. That's a lot of people just in Lexington who are willing to come out and support a wonderful pro-life cause.

Also, when we sat down for dinner and introduced ourselves to people at our table I was stunned to meet the chairperson of the Kentucky Memorial for the Unborn. So we talked a little about our experiences. She told me about attending a post-abortive conference after she had gone through an abortion, she also had a miscarriage before getting pregnant again with her son. I told her about my miscarriage and we talked a bit about the healing of naming our children and honoring their lives. She also told me about the power of healing she experienced after attending a Rachel's Vinyard Retreat. It was amazing to talk to her. I also got her card and now have the website for the Kentucky Memorial for the Unborn.

The Memorial will be in Frankfort at the Cemetary there. The Memorial features a statue of Rachel, one of Jacob's wives from the book of Genesis, and a large wall surrounding it with places to sit. It'll be in a quiet place, perfect for reflection and meditation. If you'd like to see more about this check it out here: Kentucky Memorial for the Unborn. The best part of the Memorial (and I haven't actually seen the site myself yet) is that it is apparently very visible from the State House. What a great thing for our legislatures to see from their offices: the unborn matter!!

The Bid and Buy night was a great time and I believe we'll try to make this an annual event (i.e. date night) for us as well. I hope we can get others to attend too!!

Early Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving came early to our house tonight. Hubby just got in the mood for some comfort food and cooked us up a turkey breast for dinner. But once you start cooking turkey, you can't stop there.

So we had turkey (which was reallly good), some cranberry sauce (of course!), butternut squash (cooked in a way I've never had before), mashed potatoes, green beans, and gravy. It was quite a feast!!

I like Thanksgiving and Hubby likes the cooking, so whatever he wants to do is fine with me. It was a great dinner, and now we'll be eating it all week, lunches too!

Too bad we don't have any pie ...

THE issue in the upcoming Presidential Election

Okay, so the economy is on everyone's minds. It is an important issue and it seems that the focus of the election at the moment is this issue and this issue only. But there is one issue that trumps all others, even this one. Yes, we're all concerned about our houses, our investments, our children's futures, and so much more. But these wouldn't be concerns if you weren't here to be concerned about them. So what about all those who are never given the chance to live their lives?

Before I go on, read this article from Life News.

Go ahead, read it ... I'll wait.

I found the above article through a blog that I regularly read. It is very interesting to me that so many people don't realize what kinds of dangers are out there depending on the candidate you support. When it comes to Sen. Obama there are some major concerns, particularly in the life issues.

We are slowly becoming a nation with a culture of death. This culture of death already exists in a big way in many other parts of the world and the U.S. is not far behind. We are barely replacing our population and more and more we are seeing proposed policies that will bring this culture of death closer and closer for us. We need a culture of life in this country. The initiative in Washington State to allow assisted suicide, the greater and greater acceptance of euthansia, the millions of babies that have been killed through abortion, all these things and many more create a culture that doesn't respect life: life in all its stages. This election relies very much on this issue and the above article highlights the reasons why.

Some highlights from the article and my comments:
"Barack Obama supports federal funding of abortion."

No thank you, Sen. Obama. You aren't using my tax money to fund abortions!! The thing is, this does happen now. One of the country's largest abortion providers is Planned Parenthood which does currently receive federal funding. This needs to change. Abortion is not something that American's tax dollars should be used for.

"Barack Obama wants to stop federal funding to crisis-pregnancy centers."

Often when the issue of abortion comes up we often here the pro-death candidates/politicians say that they are in favor of limiting and reducing the number of abortions in this country. And yet, they don't vote that way. Want to reduce the number of aboritons?? Support the crisis-pregnancy centers!! Put the tax payer money there, that's where it's needed. Support laws that require abortion providers to do ultrasounds and explain to women that they are carrying another human being, explain that they have choices. Many women entering abortion clinics don't know their choices. So much for the push to keep so-called choice alive.

"Barack Obama has told the Planned Parenthood Action Fund that the first thing he will sign as president will be the Freedom of Choice Act, which will sweep away limits on abortion -- state and federal -- including restrictions on government funding of abortion and laws protecting anti-abortion health care providers."

The so-called Freedom of Choice Act is a dangerous Act for this country. Many, many states have enacted laws that require parental notification if a minor enters a clinic for an abortion, laws requiring abortionists to perform an ultrasound on a woman seeking an abortion and show her the baby that is growing inside her, laws allowing pro-life health care providers to not be involved in abortion or anything that is against their moral convictions. All these types of laws as well as others would be swept away if Obama signed this act. This just can't happen.

This issue is too important to not consider. Yes, the economy is of vital importance, the war in Iraq is definitely an issue that needs attention, and finding ways to make our country energy independant will do a lot to boost our economy. But much more important to any of this is the right for ALL of our citizens to be given the chance to have life. This is a civil rights issue, the most basic human right we have is that of life.

It's even part of the United States Declaration of Independance as one of the three "inalienable rights" of man: "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

Actually, it's even the first one listed.

Catholic Carnival #183

I'm a little late this time around. Last week's Catholic Carnival can be found here:

http://musical-chemist.blogspot.com/2008/07/catholic-carnival-183_30.html

Hope you enjoy it!! Looks like a very interesting one this time around! Go check it out!!