Today is my last day being at home, tomorrow I go back to work. Going back to work has always been hard after a loss. Each time I feel like the mourning period is supposed to be over and I have to be back to normal. I know that the mourning period isn't really over, but this step is a step back toward the normalcy of life "before."
In the meantime, I am recovering physically. My bruises from where IVs were attempted or placed, blood taken, and other mysterious marks are going down. I can get up and down from chairs, the couch, and the bed without any major pain. Where my incisions are don't bother me too much unless I lean against a counter or something. Then I notice them. I'm still tired, but not as much as previously.
The pain that was in my legs is also gone, although I did find some swelling just above the ankle on one leg. I spent some time one day and one night drinking lots of water and keeping my feet up. I've continued drinking lots of water and the swelling seems to be going down. It is no longer tender and the swelling seems to have gone down quite a bit. As long as it isn't bothering me I'm not going to worry too much. But I'll certainly be mentioning it to my doctor when I see her again a week from tomorrow.
I was also very surprised to find that my milk came in. This happened after our last loss, but I was 22 weeks then and delivered that baby. I was not expecting it to happen with a miscarriage. I asked about this on an online miscarriage forum and although no one had experienced this themselves one person found some sources online that mentioned this could happen after a loss as early as 12 weeks. Although our baby died at about 9 weeks, my body was at about 11 weeks, 5 days at the time of the D&C. So amazingly enough, this can happen. I'm wondering if my doctor will be surprised when I mention it to her. Although I was very uncomfortable yesterday and a bit today (and especially sleeping the last couple of nights) it doesn't seem to be quite as bad as the last time. I haven't felt the need to use any cold packs. I expect that by tomorrow I'll be feeling much better.
Speaking of tomorrow, I already have a busy day ahead. It'll be the first day I get to drive. I was told one week, tomorrow is one day short, but I feel ready. I first have an appointment with the cemetery in the morning following which I'll go into work. Since I haven't been there in a week and a half, I'm sure I'll have a lot waiting for me. But I get to leave early as well, I have a hair appointment scheduled in late afternoon. I'm kind of glad, I always find it hard to be back at work for a full day after going through something like this. So this has worked out well.
I'm not entirely looking forward to being back at work, but it must be done. Things may never feel the same as "before" but I guess that means I get to start another new "after." It's always a challenge.